Feeling down about bubs development.

[Charlotte91]

I know I shouldn't feel down or anything, but I just wonder if DD is behind in her development.

I never know what to use when it comes to development, or actual age, or corrected age? I always get 2 different answers depending on who I ask!!

DD is 11 weeks (5 weeks corrected). And I get emails from websites saying how she should be developed for 5 weeks and she's not quite there. I know its only a guideline, but its gotten me worried.

I know she "catch up", but when?

She used to hold her head up heaps, but the last couple of days she's just not into it at all. I'm wondering whether or not to get a blood test for her, I'm wondering if she's anemic again.

I try not to get worried, but I can't help it.

She's not sleeping through the night like apparently she should be. Sometimes she only sleeps 3 hours, but she's slept 6 hours twice.

I'm not sure what to do.
My neice was talking non-stop when she was DD corrected age, and DD barely talks at all. She doesn't reach for stuff. She doesn't have loads of eye contact at times.

Just feeling a bit down.
How did your bubs develop?

Thanks

--Charlotte.

[Roryrory]

None of mine were premmies but : Unsubscribe to the email service for a start. My first hated eye contact til he was at least 3-4 months (I worried he was autistic). He is fine now - very sociable. He also walked on his knees for months (freaked EVERYONE out). He now runs everywhere. He hated being cuddled to sleep too.
My second was cranky all the time and didn't crawl but slept well. And Rose is now 4 months (nearly 5 months) and doesn't reach for things. Doesn't like tummy time either.

Babies don't follow the guidebooks Even non-premmies

[krystals]

Hi Charlotte!
I'm not sure how old your bubba is...is she 11 weeks or 16 weeks? Be careful getting too attached to what she 'should' be doing. I'm quickly learning that even though there's a thousand books and websites out there, the babies don't seem to read them, and so might not 'know' that's what they're meant to be doing!

FWIW My DS didn't reach for things until he was about 4 months old, and now he has a pinch grip at 6 months. He has rolled a couple of times, but not as often as he 'should' be, but is scooching around the floor like a madman! He talked really early, then stopped completely for a while, and then suddenly came out with mumum, bubub, dadad, and ewwwo (which we think might be 'hello') and chats away all day now.

If she's limp or lethargic, I'd definitely go to the doctor, but otherwise, unless she's months and months 'behind'. Or isn't showing ANY development, I'd relax and focus on the new things she *is* doing.

Oh....and the sleeping? I think you'll find a chorus of people here with kids from 2 months to 2 years (and more) who wish they knew how to get their kids to sleep through the night. That's why there's so many books on the subject!!! Some babies sleep through the night, some don't and I don't think there's a magic cure.

You sound like you're doing a wonderful job and the fact that you're caring about your bubbas development is awesome!!! She's a very lucky girl to have a Mumma like you x

[Arimeh]

They are supposed to be sleeping through the night at 11 weeks? Crikey, someone should tell my 4 year old that. None of mine sleep through yet lol

Stop reading too much into that crap cos it's usually written by people that haven't had children lol

[human bean]

I'm not really in the know about the corrected age vs actual age etc, but one thing I do know is that where ever you read that she should be sleeping through, well pftttt to that! Yes, I realise some babies sleep through that young, but many many many many babies don't. My DD didn't sleep through til after 6 months, and even then I think we were very lucky! We still have nights/weeks now when she doesn't sleep through, but I have nights like that myself so why should I expect her to sleep through when I rarely do?! She's so young, so don't worry if she's not sleeping through, it's completely normal to wake/feed overnight.

Do remember that they are just guidelines, averages, and not all bubs are average. Think of how far your gorgeous little DD has come, she (and you) have faced some pretty major challenges so don't lose sight of how well she is doing when comparing to the things she may not be doing. It's so very hard not to compare, I know as I did it/do it myself, but I find I have to remind myself that my DD is perfect in her own way and will do things in her own time.

From what I can remember, DD didn't always reach for alot of things around that age either, and was only just starting to babble, and I do remember worrying that she didn't make eye contact with me alot. But then I realised she was still pretty sleepy/tired easily and I think I read they can avoid eye contact when tired. I also remember DD would do something wonderfully new for a few days than drop it, and I'd almost think I was imagining it. They are processing so much when they are so young that it can be so much for them to take in. As for being anemic again, if you have doubts, maybe do go have the blood tests, that will give you the answer for sure. Plus you have probably watched her so closely and know her so well that your Mummy radar will begin to ping at the start of something happening.

Sorry to ramble on, but I hear how you're feeling through your post, and I understand completely, just wanted to let you know that you're doing an awesome job

[bubno.3]

Charlotte
Can i dare say like others have and yes unsubscribe and personally i would stop the correcting age stuff too (if tiny prem different story again) ... If i worked it out correctly was your bubs 34 weeks fetal age when she was born ? I had a son who was born at 35 wks and i never corrected his age and he is now a bouncing energetic 2 3/4 yr old . I would like others have said .. sit back and enjoy what your baby is doing now as each baby is unique and will a) be born when they want (if not life death c/s scenario) b) develop when they want . Obviously if as other said floppy etc etc yes please worry then ... she isnt even 3 months old please please relax and enjoy or you will give yourself an ulcer.

(this is not suppose to offend anyone at all )

[MrsBexie]

fwiw, my 8 week old daughter is only just smiling more often, doens't talk or coo very often either, she avoids our eye contact prefering to look around us not at us... and she doesn't reach for anything at all!

So I wouldn't worry about those things, however as the others have said, if she is floppy and you are worried, take her to you Dr just to be sure.

xx

[Charlotte91]

This has helped alot!

Yeah, she was born at 34 weeks on 10/12/10 due to IUGR and Gastroschisis. I hope the IUGR didn't affect her at all, or the operation, or the ventilation or morphine.
Guess I'm just a worrying mummy. :-)
She's not floppy, she just seems to be a bit off her feed and a bit tireder than normal.

I'll try and keep my mind off things, I was just looking at her today and alot of thoughts came into my head and I had to let them out.

Thanks again

-- Charlotte.

[emc2]

Well I haven't had my first baby yet, I don't know if that makes me qualified to comment.

However I was watching a great documentary one day, it went through each stage of life, and it featured, babies, children and adults who had somehow either had an injury or disability or other problem. Throughout and by the end the idea is definitely there's lots of times to catch up on development, including even adults who've had neurological and spinal injuries. However babies and children have the greatest opportunities of all. No one develops like the textbooks, everyone has something they're not good at usually, but anyone can learn things or catch up on things at any stage of life.

[diva det]

hun
premmies do not develop like full term babies!!!!!
they are too busy getting better to worry about developmental milestones!!
their little bodies cant learn new things and get well at the same time

unsubscribe to that email!!
take everything your MCHN says with a grain of salt- they are experts on babies but not YOUR baby!
listen to your gut and act if something doesnt seem right to you
and most of all enjoy your little bubba for what she is and who she is now- she will never be this little again~!!!!
FWIW- my twins took till they were around 2 years old to catch up size wise- they were 30 weekers- mind you then they were worried about DS growing too big so he cant win either way!
they are what they are and they do things when they are ready!!!!!
just enjoy the moment

[Roryrory]

they are experts on babies but not YOUR baby!

Det that is a star quote! So true! Only mum (and sometimes, dad) really know their baby

[grub17]

i think worry and guilt come with the territory love. It's learning the trick to keep those demons at bay but also listening enough to know when something isn't right.

My boy wasn't premmie but it really took four or five months for him to move from what I lovingly refer to as "the blob stage" where they can't hold their head up or really do too much of anything but feed, poo and cry.

My cousin had her DD1 at 34 weeks (mummy has severe diabetes - not GD, childhood diabetes) and that little girl is nearly 3 and just perfect. We saw her at 16 months and she seemed like a perfectly normal, messy, whingy, whiny, chatty little toddler

As for sleeping through the night, ha! that is a big fat fib, like BF makes you lose weight! My 14 month old sometimes sleeps through, more often than not he doesn't. He had 2 to 3 night feeds (9pm, 1-2pm, 5am) for many many months.

If you have concerns that won't ease, I'd go to the doc - better to be safe than sorry and put your mind at ease.

I hope some of what everyone has written has helped. In other words, she sounds pretty normal from what you've said. And remember, she's only little and they get soooo tired so easily.

[FabFiona]

Charlotte - mark that email as spam and stop reading it. You'll be a better mother for it.

Three babies in my mothers group were born at 34 and 35 weeks respectively. They developed faster than our full term babies in some areas and slower in others. They followed their own pace of development, just like our full term bubs.

Whoever told you babies 'should' be sleeping through the night needs a smack in the head. Your baby will sleep through when she is good and ready and not a moment before. That could be next week or when she is 2. Or more likely she will go through good and bad sleeping patches and you'll just roll with the punches.

This motherhood gig is tough and reading that crap makes it harder. I know it's easy to say, but to try and stop stressing and enjoy the time you have. It's a very special time that you will never get back.

If you need something to ease your mind, find a good GP or paediatrician and hang on to them like glue.

Best of luck.

[*Beema*]

When it comes to correcting age it is up to you, don't be swayed either way, what ever you feel comfortable with, medically from 34 weeks Dr's/Paeds will correct their age, espeically taking into consideration the rough start your gorgeous Miss H had, she had a lot of recovery to do before she could focus on other things so that all gets taken into account. They have been correcting DD2 but I don't correct her age because she is ticking along nicely as she is

Also just so you know they don't correct ages for immunisations if you are immunising as well.

I did correct DD1 along with her Paeds and Dr's (33 weeker) until she was 12 months old, but she was a very slow gainier weight wise and behind developmentally and in the end her Gross Motor skill because very delayed but correcting gave us a bit of leeway.

Ignore/Unsubscribe from the emails they are just depressing and try to place all babies into one basket which is wrong. DD1 never slept through until she was over 15 months of age, but DD2 is don't know why....

DD1 was nearly 3 months old before she smiled, it felt like an eternity for that first smile to come, I won't go into her gross motor skills because it was an hereditory issues that was the cause of those delays and and intensive physio allowed her to catch up.

If you feel that something isn't right, get her seen, that way it eases your mind and if something isn't quite right it is picked up and if all is fine then that is great

You are doing a great job