Premmie Mums

uggh!
I hate this premmie stuff. It's so confusing.
So much conflicting advice, I don't know what is right and what is wrong. All this second guessing is driving me insane!
the ECHN came to visit. Noah is 8.2kg clothed. (Please don't say he's fat, I've heard that so much over the last couple of weeks) So, I ask if I can turn his car seat around because that is what is says to do in the instructions. (I'm new to all this all in one carseat business, girls, so bare with me). No she says because he is only 3.5 months adjusted. Not old enoough. Ok, not old enough but too big for the rear facing seat, he is squashed and the straps come below his sholders, that can't be good. No, I shouldn't do it.
Can he start solids? He is showing all the signs of wanting to eat? Scaling back his milk drinks, watching us eat and copying our chewing.Again no because he is only 3.5 months but he has been here for almost 6, wouldn't his body adapt? He is a big boy, too so wouldn't that warrent starting the solids? I would if he were full term.I don't know though with all thi spremmie stuff.

He is not overweight for his birth age but adjusted he is on the 97th centile, so does that make him overweight?
He is socially advanced because he has been around for six months but gross and fine motor are only to adjusted age, grrrr. Now we have a referral to an early intervention place because he isn't reaching for things. Help!

As for Ivy, she is underweight and not doing anything much.I've weaned her and she is putting on weight but half the time she just wants the breast. I feel really confused as to what is right for her and whether the BF is just for me, rather than for her wellbeing.
We went to have their eyes checked and the opthalmologist tells me Ivy is shortsighted and will need glasses before she is one. Poor little girl, did I do that to her because she was born premmie or would it have been that way anyhow and I am just finding out earlier because they check all prems who have been in oxygen??????

Girls, any advice would be great, right now, i'll just keep on chanting 'calm blue ocean...calm blue ocean'
Thanks for the vent.

Hey Tiff - Firstly take a deep breath and tell yourself how well your doing!
It is really confusing with the real and adjusted age thing - and I think that sometimes MCHN's overly stress about things.
Kyla see's a physio and psychologist as part of a prem study - they see heaps pf prems and look at developmental milestones etc - I can give you the number and I'm sure they would be happy to help you with any developmental questions.
Re: Solids - You know your baby the best, and you've BTDT with baby's before, so I'd say trust your instincts
Re: car seat - I was told wether to turn the seat around is more to do with the strength of the baby's neck and whether he can adequatly support it when you are stopping, starting etc.

HTH sweetie!

Hey Tiff,

I'm no expert, but I can tell you what we have done with Joshua and hopefully that will help a little...

As for the car seat...we turned Josh's around a few weeks ago. He was around 8 months old, he was 8.5kg and he had good head control. He was also getting squashed up rear-facing as he is quite long and his feet were pressed up against the back of the seat. The guy who did it for us was endorsed by the local council and was happy to turn the seat for us based on those facts. (Josh loves it too. He sits up and watches everything going on and laughs. We haven't had a cranky episode in the car since it was turned).

The solids...I had also been advised to wait until Joshua was 6 months corrected (or 8 months real age for him). However, around the time he was 6 months old real age (4 months corrected) he started getting really grizzly and unsettled. The only time he had been like that before was just before we swapped from BF to formula...at that time, I worked out that he was grizzly because he was hungry. So, at his 6 month paed check up, I asked the paed if it was ok to give him solids even though he was only 4 months corrected. The paed said yes, if he wanted it, to give it to him. Within days the grizzling had stopped, just like it had when he started on the formula, so I knew it was the right thing. We started off slowly with rice cereal, fruit and yoghurt and built our way up to bigger meals.

And no, I don't think Noah is overweight. He sounds (and looks) like a happy, healthy little boy. And to be honest, I don't think I would be stressing about the fine/gross motor skills either. Like you said, socially he is quite advanced and that is natural because he has been around for a while now! But, physically he is still catching up like all premmie bubs do. Some stuff, Josh did on target for his corrected age, other things took a little longer. But he is doing everything he should - in his own time. It took Josh a while to reach for stuff too. Now, I can't stop him. He grabs at everything. (I've been woken a few times by a little hand grabbing hold of my nose - hard!)

As for Ivy, how long has she been on the bottle? Maybe with a bit more time she will adjust and adapt to the bottle? With a bit more time on formula she might gain some extra weight too? Sorry, I wish I could be more help.

Hang in there Tiff, you're doing a great job. The new pic in your ticker is gorgeous and it looks like your beautiful kidlets are thriving.

Great advice Bec!

That is great advice Bec- they don't make it easy do they these nurses.
I went to MCH centre yesterday, Nixon was weighed again 2940grams total weight gain of 644 since birth!
I was a bit worried cause when i had my home visit he hadn't put on any weight.
I know think it was all the stupid woman... First she was trying to tell me the hosp never contacted them, which is bulls#it because they were rung 4 times....as well as me ringing and leaving a msg because no one had rung me and i had been home almost a week!
anyway you know i said i was annoyed/upset because ir read that Nixon passed his hearing test but she told me he didnt??
well he did pass! This nurse showed me the form, the same one i read that said he passed, so i showed her the one the hosp stuck in his book the one this dumb nurse told me he did not pass.
She explained to me that this was just a recommendation that he be re tested at 8-10 months because he is a high risk factor becauase 1. father has hearing loss 2. spent more then 48hrs in NICU 3. had photo therapy 4. Premmie
so that put my mind at ease! then i fed him there she said we were doing a great job!

So Tiggy one thing that i learnt yesterday and from this whole experience is to ask lots of questions, if you dont undertsand, ask again, if you dont like their answer ask to speak to someone else! And at the end of the day you know your babies, they are giving you advise going off what they think but they dont live with them every day do they. I know they are professionals but sometimes a mother just knows best i think!
Thtas one thing really pi##ed me off since Nixon being born is you get told so many different things, most of them conflict the other, it certainly does not help you get through the baby blues and early days i can tell you that......

Tiff

:hug: to you matey!!

One thing I did learn with the MCHN here is that they go into panic mode with prem babies! They have these stupid books and seem to think that every child should develop at the same rate! If only!!

We turned Hayley's seat around when she was the same weight as Noah, she had fairly good head control, so I spoke to my paed who said it was fine! As for the solids, we started Hayley early too, by a couple of months, but only on rice cereal and stuff, nothing too huge. She loved it and was a lot more settled.

Unfortunately I realised that my MCHN was totally hooked on the corrected age thing...by this time she should be doing this etc, I dont think there is enough info for them in regard to premmie babies and how they are more unique than term babies. My paed was happy to go with what I thought.

Go with your mothers instinct!

Best of Luck

Tiff, I'm definitely with Bec, trust your instincts, if he wants solids then go for it. Alex didn't eat solids until 8 months old, and even then it was a fight, he wasn't ready and didn't want them, however the MCHN kept saying "give it to him". Follow your heart.

Nickers, have you got the clothes yet?

Divvy i was just about to post to you before u posted! the mail man knocked on my door about 10 minutes ago!
Again thank you so much for the clothes Nixon says thank you too!

Nickers- So glad to hear about the hearing test result! That's great!
Tiff - Hope things are going ok.

NO worries, Nickers, the girl I got some of them from had a little boy (Rhys) at 23w + 4d. She went and bought some 5 0s for him, but he never got to wear them. So when he was going home from Monash NICU with Alex, they were both in the same plane flying to Shepparton Base Hospital SCN. When we all got there, she brought up Rhys's clothes for Alex, because we didn't have many that fit him. And she asked me to "pass them forward" to someone else when we'd finished with them. And you're next in line!

So I'd love you to "pass them forward" when you've finished with them too. It's just a matter of finding the right person.

Best wishes and great about the hearing test!

Tiff, are you all right? HUGS!

Tiff, I agree with Bec too, trust your instincts, you are with your babies 24/7, a MCHN, ponly sees them briefly for the time you are in there & that cant be an accuarte time to judge your baby/ies...

If you believe he is ready to be turned around, turn him, if you think he wants more than milk, feed him... etc, etc....

I listen to the MCHN for weight gain, growth etc & the rest I take it or leave it!!!

I want to pop across to your place & give you a break for a bit.... Wish I was closer, coz matey your doing amarvellous job & rather than being down on yourself,m you should be revelling in being a Mother & a bloody fantastic one at that... I say 3 cheers to you... Hip Hip HOORAY, Hip Hip HOORAY,. Hip Hip HOORAY!!!!!!

Darl, we are all here for you, even like me who hasnt had a premmis... I still want you to enjoy it & know your a great Mummy....

OMG thanks Tracey.
Thank you everyone. I don't know what I would do without you all.
I guess being so isolated out here in the boonies sends you a little loopy at the best of times, toss in PND, which always gets me around the 5 month mark and that makes one crazy lady!
I've turned his seat around, Bec, you were right, he loves it too, is no longer squashed and has excellent head control.
He can almost sit on his own but he can't roll...go figure. I know he'll do everything in his own sweet time, I know they both will. You probably all think I am stupid, having had so many kids and now second guessing myself... but it's been quite a while between (living) babies and I am so out of practice, it's like starting all over again.:boohoo:
I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
ETA: Have started going back to the same counsellor that I saw when Will died, so am doing something about the PND

Well Done Tiff....

Your a wonderful Beautiful Mummy...
I am still finding my feet, with such a large gap between my girls. It is so daunnting but throw in twin premmies as well, man I'd be stressed...
Glad he is enjoying going forward in the car too, wont be long & they'll both be cruising the same way... makes life easier...
Hugs to you & your very precious family!!! Take some time for yourself too, you need to refuel as well!

Loves ya!

Tiff...too bad that I don't live close either, I would love to meet you, Ivy and Noah!
I'm glad to hear that you will have someone to talk to and hope that it's helpful. I know how hard it is having one premmie - two must be absolutly exhausting physically and emotionally.
:hugs:

Hi girls, I just found this thread, I know, Im a bit slow. But wondering how premmie did the bubs have to be to join? Coby was 4-5 weeks early and spent only 5 nights in the NICU on CPAP? Am I ok to join in?

I have found that having a bub who has been in NICU and probably because he was early too, has created a miriad of problems, especially reflux (which I've notice a lot of the bubs have) and now gagging on everything while Im trying to feed him. He is nearly 12 months old and is still eating pureed foods, can not eat anything even slightly lumpy, its so infuriating, and he has an extra strong gag reflex.

Do you girls often find that friends with babies the same age aren't all that sympathetic or understanding as to why your baby might not be doing the same things that their baby is doing? I have a mothers group and they all know that Coby was early, but seem baffled when he can't do the same things that their babies are doing, and they will question me about why he can't do it? Its ridiculous. There is one girl in my group who always spruiks about how wonderful and clever her daughter is, and it really gets me down, so I've sorta stopped going, its a shame really because it was a good social day for Coby....

Tiff, I noticed that you are in here and having a bit of a hard time honey, please don't doubt yourself, you are the most wonderful giving mother I have ever met. What you give to ALL your children is priceless!

If you ever want to get out of the house for a while just for a cuppa or something, please let me know.xxxooo

Hey girls,
Well, Patrick James is here 4 weeks and 2 days early. He was born on Wednesday morning at 11.43am.spontaneous labour and natural birth, no drugs at all!
He weighed 5lb 6oz and head circumference of 32.2 cms.
He is still in SCN because of problems with his blood sugar levels.

Congratulations Jess, hope your special little guy is back with you real soon xxx

Congratulations Jess.
Hope Little Patrick does well in the SCN and that you have him home with you soon.:hug:

Belinda- ofcourse you can join! I am yet to start in mothers group so don't know what will happen but they are actually starting me one not until mid July, so Nixon will be the eldest but more likely same size and more similar in development to the rest of the babies. There is going to be 1 girl in our group (born same day as my son) who was also small and premmie so i will atleasy have someone else to fall back on.
It must be frustrating and upsetting for you to cop s#it from them, i personally would prob have done the same and stopped socialising with them.
Their a good bunch in here though you will have plenty of support! Welcome to the premmie group! (I'm a newbie myself)

Tiff, good to hear you happy with your decision! I hope it helps you sort things out in your mind a little. Have you had any more thoughts on the solids? You are right to trust your instincts. If something is not right, you will know it. You know these babies better than anyone! And you so aren't stupid! I really hope seeing the counsellor helps you to work through everything that's going on inside your head atm too.

Nickers, it's great that Nixon passed his hearing test after all. It sounds like he is doing really well.

Belinda, of course you're ok to join in - it's great to see you posting in here! No criteria, just a great place to ask questions and share experiences. WRT friends with babies the same age, I have been really lucky in that I made a good friend from when Josh was in hospital. I met a lady who had a little girl a week after Josh, born at the same gestation he was. (32 weeks). We get together regularly and actually find that our bubs are doing exactly the same things at the same time, which is a real comfort to me. I do know what you mean though, when we are in a group situation with other babies the same age, the difference between Josh and the other babies is apparent to me. We've never had any comments though, and I find it a bit rude that the other mothers in your group question you!

Jess, congratulations and welcome back!! And welcome to little Patrick. :) Well done on the no drugs! I hope Patrick is doing well and that you can bring him home really soon.

Hi to everyone else too!

Hey Bel,

Of course you can join.
You are very welcome in here.
Are you coming on the 30th?

Jess, Congratulations on the birth of Patrick. I hope he's doing well and will get to be home with you very soon!

Hi Belinda and welcome!
It's funny that you should mention about the pureed food. Kyla also gaggs on anything with lumps or that is too thick. She's 9 months, but her corrected age is 6.5 months - she's also not that fussed atm whether or not she has solids.
IKWYM re: development too, although Kyla isn't doing some physical things, I think that socially she is actually ahead - in talking and interacting.
Look forward to chatting to you more!

Tiff - Maria could sit from about 7 months but has only started rolling in ernest this week (moved 4 metres today from her play mat), honestly I think it was easier when they stayed put.

Jess - coungratulations on the birth of Patrick, I hope both of you are doing well.

Belinda - Maria gags as well, but she is slowly getting better.

The biggest news for me and Maria (we haven't been on BB for a while is that she has 4 teeth with another 2 (incisors on top) waiting to come through, so my sleep has been severly affected (she is still feeding at least once in the night + at midnight) and she has been catching every cold and bug going around.

thanks for all the welcomes girls, its great to finally be with others who understand what you are talking about re premmies.

Kitten WTG on all the teeth for Maria, she's a little chomper now!!

Carrie, Im with you, Coby's social abilities/skills are right up there, but he isn't physically doing the same things the others are doing, he has less teeth, isn't cruising too much on the furniture etc etc but the other stuff is pretty well up to date, its weird huh?

Tiff, yeah, I'll be there on the 30th, I was the one that suggested that date, they were tossing around a lot of closer dates and it just wasn't working. Are you going to go? Would love to catch up with you and Noah and Ivy again...

I noticed that you said (Tiff) that you are PND at around 5 months, do you know what? I think that I was a little PN at that time too, and it lasted for a while. Why do you think it happens then and not right from the start? Anyone else suffer with it?

Went to GP today for Coby's cold (has had it for months now) and he's finally getting over it, and the GP was pleased with his progress. I asked him to weigh and measure Coby while we were there, and Coby has had and still has a small head circumference (HC) his weight is going off, and length is growing steadily, but his head isn't growing as well as it should. Has anyone else had this problem? Its right down below the percentile lines and its following the same curve, but its still very small, any suggestions on what it could be or what I can do to help it along a bit??

Bel - That's good that Coby's finally getting over his cold!
I had a look at your site - Coby looks like a really happy little one.
Re: the head - don't know that much except that it may just be individual difference. My sisters bub was overdue and has a head circ. off the charts small. Whereas Kyla (at the opposite end of the scale born early) was always ave. in the head and about 15% for weight and height. Her head at the last check jumped to 95%!! Perhaps it just depends on where they are with their growth sputs etc and genetics.
Your boy looks very happy and intelligent - so I wouldn't worry!

I hate the worst day, Patrick reached his requirements and then the Paed saw that his temp went from 36.5 to 36.3 and suddenly he has an extremely low temp and there is a 40% chance of him dying if he comes home!!!!!!!!
I was so angry that I kissed my darling son and walked out of the SCN.
I did eventually go back at 2, but that was to finish his feed, sucked both sides 4 times!

Sorry, but Paeds are annoying! Sorry for the vent.

Hey Jess - Sorry you had a yuck day. It can be really disappointing when you think that they are going to be able to come home and things change.
So he had a good feed? Is he doing mostly breastfeeds?

no, mostly gavage/bottle feeds because I can't get over there more than once a day.But he is starting to get more Breastmilk as I am expressing, but I have so much milk that even expressing isn't helping now! I really need him home!

Hi Ladies,

Well quick update on Ronan - he is now in SCN as of 2/3 days ago! It has taken him 10+ wks to get there but it is fantastic! He now weighs 3087 grams, 53cms long & 33cm head.. He is on 55mls of milk every 3hrs and is a happy little boy! It is hard to believe i should have been 37wk 5 days pregnant! lol

He has been on Low Flow for the past 5 days, so he finally threw the CPAP out the window and his PDA closed hence why he is FINALLY smooth sailing.. We don't know when we will be home but we are guessing around another 3 weeks (13 weeks in total) so it's been a lonnnnnnnng road.. I am finishing work next Friday so i can't wait! :D

Jess, sorry you had an awful day, I remember those feelings, massive highs thinking you would get your baby back with you, then them being dashed by something that is seemingly so trivial for us, but life threatening for them. Just try to remember that they are doing what they think is right for your little man. I know its hard, but it won't be much longer.

Racoon, just had a look at your site, Ronan is such a little fighter! Seeing him on CPAP reminded me of all that we went through with Coby. Awful. That's great that he's moved to SCN and will only be there for a little while before you have him back with you.

Girls, does anyone have a bub that had reflux or similar? Coby had an immature valve between stomache and oesophagus and continually vomitted for about 7-8 months, now he has this REALLY strong gag reflex and he vomits with everything. I just get so sick of it, I know I shouldn't feel this way, but it annoys me so much and makes me so angry when he vomits, and I just can't feel sympathetic to him (unless of course he really is sick from something like a cold or whatever). I feel like the worlds worst mother, I can't believe that something like this really gets me down, but it does. Every day for the past almost 12 months, I've been cleaning up vomit, have been vomitted on etc and its driving me batty. Does anyone else deal with this sort of thing or similar? How do you cope?

Rac - I'm so happy that things are travelling well with Ronan, it has been such a long haul for you. Kyla was in for 10.5 weeks and I was going batty by the end - desperate to get her home with me. You are amazing in the way you are coping sweetie!
But it looks like you're nearing the end of that loooong road!!
Hooray for Ronan! What a strong little boy.
It must be such a relief that the PDA has closed. And his weight is EXCELLENT!! Kyla reached about that around her due date - so Ronan's obviously enjoying his food! Good one!
Congrats on the change to SCN. And yay about finishing work.

Bel - Kyla had bad reflux also and I totally understand how you feel. Sometimes it felt like "why bother feeding her" cos it just came right back up - puddles on the floor, wet clothes, lots of washing, always wearing bibs and being covered in chuck continually. She got alot better around 3 months corrected, but still chucks if she pushes or has pressure on her tummy.
It did really annoy me but as I said - she's much better now. Sorry Bel, but I don't have much advise - except that I saw on Mother's Direct a feeding smock which are like little raincoat smocks to wear during feeding to keep clothes clean.
Sorry I can;t be more helpful except to say that I do understand and know that it is really frustrating and that you're not a bad mum to feel frustrated too.
Have you had a look in the reflux thread - you may also get some helpful suggestions there.

Racs- Oh what a huge milestone moving into SCN! You know once you make it in their you wont have too much longer before Ronan can be @ home safe and sound with mummy & daddy!

Wow Racs, good going Ronan! Hopefully only another few weeks and he'll be home! He will seem so much bigger now than when he was born!

Sorry, no joy about the vomitting either, we didn't have that, but I'll try and do some research...

Yay Racs!
So glad to hear that Ronan is doing well in the SCN, you won't know yourself now!

How's everyone going?
ha a tough couple of nights with Nixon. Last night was ok woke every 4hrs for a feed but the 2 nights prior he was a screamer! Tuesday was pretty much a right off for me all i did was try to catch up on sleep and battled a constant headache. Think he must have been having a growth spurt again.
Nixon chucks alot, how do u know if baby has reflux or silent reflux? he always waits until the second after i take his bib off or right when he mouth is positioned to run straight down my top! sometimes he throw straight after but quiet often is a while after being fed
well he is 6 weeks old now, Actually Nixon was due today!!

Happy due date birthday Nixon!
Nickers, it's really common for prem babies to chuck alot!
Reflux is the term used for babes with an immature sphincter at the end of the oesophagus and begunning of the stomach. Some of the acid from the stomach rises up through this sphincter and alot of the time brings milk with it. Sometimes it happens just after a feed and other times, it's hours after and smells quiter curdled (sorry if tmi)
Some babies have no pain with it, others scream.
Mine are screamers.
There are lots of things you can do to try and help it.
feed sitting more upright (I've had four chuckers and this,IMO is a myth)
smaller feeds more ofter (yuck)
use a thickener - karicare have one and you can mix it into a paste and give before BF or you can buy a formula that is already thickened.(This is what I did with Noah and it worked but has made no difference with Ivy, who I have now weaned because of poor weight gain.
Try a chiropractor (that is what we are currently trying and it has made a huge difference in Ivy)
Medicate - you can try Mylanta or gaviscon before feeds. If bottling, you can put the gaviscon into the formula.
If none of that works, you can go to the doctor and get some zantac. It doesn't stop the vomiting but it stops ythe pain.
HTH. LOL that he waits - Ivy does that too. You'll get used to carrying extras of everything for your boy and for you.
The good thing is they eventually grow out of it (most of them) by the time they start sitting up.

We are pretty good, although, Noah has just had the worlds biggest screaming fit and my ears are ringing. Other than that we are just plodding along.
They are six months old now, I can't believe it! Time has gone too fast

hi girls, I hope everyone's ok.

Tiff, just a quickie, how is the chiro going? Thinking of trying it for Coby, would you recommend it?

Thanks for that info Tiff. hehe Nixon is allowed to be here now!!
It would be a bit hard trying to prop baby up when breast feeding! We give him a bottle each night cause he has penta-vite and some other liquid med with iron in it and try and sit him up but he still chucks.
Tonight he did the biggest chuck ive seen so far. most of the time he doesnt scream before chucking so dont think it hurts him too much.
We see the Paed on the 16th so i will talk to him about it then, my sister also suggested shorter more freq feeds but i feel like im feeding all the time as it is!
What does a Chiropractor do to help?

Hi Bel,
The chiro is great!
I would try it. The one we are seeing for Ivy and Noah is amazing.

The first time I took Ivy she slept four hours straight after her adjustment, then had a really good six hour sleep that night and the chucking got a whole lot better(I only had to change her clothes once).
Last weekend she was really bad with the reflux and the screaming. She was so unsettled. I took her back on the Monday and he had a little feel and said, was it a bad weekend? I said yes and had a meltdown in his office. He touched a few points and said it had been really bad for her too and that she was out of wack because of it.
He asked me to bring her back free of charge the next day because he was worried.
That afternoon she slept and fed beautifully, had a great night, we went back the next day and he adjusted her a bit more and she was just lovely, like a different baby. The vomiting settled he right down. Of course it's up and down. We go Monday and Friday now and by Friday she is chucking and is unsettled.
It would be good for Coby. We suggest it to all the ladies who have had traumatic births, for their babies. Especially if it was quick or instrumental.

Nickers,
The chiro assesses the baby's back and adjusts it so that the pressure is equal and nothing is pinching/ pushing things the wrong way. Chiros believe that every part of your spine represents or is connected to other parts of the body and so in adjusting the spine, it helps the problems and other symptoms that are presenting.
Apart from that, the babies find it really relaxing.
Ivy cried for the first couple of adjustments but now she smiles and coos. She also lets him know if something isn't right.

PS Noah did this almighty chuck when he was about 14 weeks old (that's when I decided to try the thickener) It shot accross the room and came out of his nose at the same time! Poor baby. I think we were both traumatised by that.
Immy (my first) spewed from the head of the bed up and over the end when she was five weeks and Ivy has done a few like that too!!! I just expect it with Ivy now. I've given up with the little cloth nappies and go straight for the bath sheets!!!!! LOL
and I hear you on the smaller feeds more often, that's what I was doing with Ivy and she was just always on the breast. You will find a way that works best for you, hang in there, I think most of us with prems wear odour de babyspew!

Tiff, I had a particularly bad day with Coby vomitting a while ago, and when my DH came home, I said to him "smell my new perfume" and he smelt my neck, screwed up his nose and said "what is it?" I replied "Eu De Vomi`"

tee he he!!