The Pagan viewpoint on grief?

[Fleur]

I know what you mean becstar... I have been thinking of her kids too, especially Cyclone, doesn't seem like she would be finished.

But if you believe (as Inanna and a few others have said) that we all have a contract when we come here - well what we learn, and what we suffer is part of that as well as what we do & teach.

It's like the idea that we choose our parents, we choose our life lessons.... boy do some of us choose some tough stuff! - then her children have chosen (before they came earthside) to suffer that loss.

Never mind all that, my heart still breaks for them. As an adult, when I suffer I can take some comfort in knowing that it is as it should be, and I have chosen to walk this path, but man it's hard when it's kids that are hurting.

[*becstar*]

Yeah, I understand.....that's just the part that doesn't sit right with my belief YK?

And yes, it's the kids that are breaking my heart, we all miss Lulu but we are adults, we put on our big girl undies and get on with it knowing our lives are richer for knowing her. But the kids.........oh the kids :,( Betty and Cyclone especially. Cyclone will feel it SO much, and just when he was getting into a good place in life That kills me and right now I don't find any comfort in any belief.

I know I will eventually, and in the ME section of how I'm feeling I'm feeling ok. I'm feeling Lu has given me all she could give, I doubt I gave much to her though I know the lesson I was to get from her, and really she can only flog a dead horse so many times

Thanks ladies this thread has been great

[Fleur]

argh dammit... I take it all back .... it's not fair, not fair, not fair

[~TT40~]

Everything happens exactly as and when it is supposed to.
Not to say everything is predetermined, or destined, or that we have no control. Quite the opposite.
Every action in our lives and every interaction with another's choices in their lives, leads us t exactly where we are at any given time. As it should be. There is no such thing as "not his time to go" because otherwise he wouldn't have gone. ITMS.

I agree with that so much...and even if your choices lead you in the other direction, something will bring you back around to where it should be. and its up to us whether we take thedirect 'easy' route or the longer possibly harder one and learn more from it.

in the end, everything works out - that is in the long run, things always work out. I applied to be a midwife the year before, but didnt get in, it was heart breaking and tore my soul, and in the short term i thought everything was messed up and would never work out. But I did get in the next year, and am now a midwife. plus that year of limbo i was in saw me go over seas for a holiday, and it saw me move to atown i had never heard of and meet DH. it all workd out, we were where we were ment to be, and even better for it.


ps I read "selfish" as "personal" no offence at all! it is a human emotion, and it is required for us to process and work through our thoughts and feelings regarding a loss or change. not just with death, but anything that makes us question.

[LimeSlice]

What doesn't sit right with me is that lulu was done here, I just can't believe that. I feel she was take. too soon from her children. She worked long and hard with cyclone especially and I just can't see her feeling done.

But I think that is just it.
It isn't up to us to "feel" done, we don't know anymore than the next person about what it is we are achieving in life, or death. It isn't a conscious or even subconscious decision, it isn't our decision on any earthly level at all.
We would never feel finished. There is always something holding you here, your kids, husband, unfinished ironing, an unread book...
If her children weren't ready, or able to be ready, she wouldn't have gone. Maybe that is why she had DD1 young? So she would be old enough to assume some protective role and be prepared for it.... who knows. But I have no doubt her kids will be just fine. They will flourish with the knowledge of who and what she was and her love for them with be all around them. This experience will set them up to be able to teach someone else in the future and repay that contract.

I feel so so sad for her kids, to miss knowing her as they grow (the little ones) and for DD to miss knowing her mum as an adult and a woman, but I know that all is as it should be, and from this whole experience they will take and have been given something far greater.