The fallout

Hey you... cuddles cuddles cuddles xxx It's hard hard hard. You will do it long term - just a step at a time darling. :hug:

Big :hug:
I think you are amazing.

Oh babe I've just got hugs. You are doing a phenominal job raising your gorgeous babies.

Thinking of you Michelle :hug:

Big hugs Michelle :hug:

You are doing a great job, and I'm glad you have the cavalry coming over the weekend.

Thinking of you now and always x

Oh hun, you are so strong! Sending you big hugs and coping vibes xxx

:hug: Urgh Michelle, vent away. Hope the ILs are helpful over the weekend too. How's DS2's feeding going? Sorry to hear about the wind pain. :(

Hope DD is better soon. I have that sexy husky voice too atm, dammit. Came from nowhere!

Oh my love, you are doing SO well :hug: It must be so incredibly difficult to see the kids upset and missing Daddy. Hang in there babe xoxoxoxoxo

Michelle my heart breaks for you.

You are right it's not OK and it's not fair what life sometimes deals us. It can seem too hard and for some it might actually be too hard, but you are not that woman. You will get through this one step at a time. One foot in front of the other. It won't be easy, in fact it will probably get harder before it gets easier but there is light and love in your life in the form of the 3 beautiful children you created with the love of your life. I feel certain he is with you and holding your hand when your tears fall, he sits beside you and waits for you to catch your breath, he blows gentle kisses across your babies faces each and every night as they fall asleep and in time he will chase away the pain and replace it with wonderful memories to make you smile of the life and love you all shared.

Hold on xxxx

And today we have reached the one year anniversary. He has been gone a whole year. We survived. We are relatively intact and we tackle each day as it comes. But it hurts soooooooo much. I wonder if, or when, it ever gets any easier .........

Hugs Michelle, I can't answer if it will get easier for you, I will hope that it does though. Xoxo

Michelle I've been thinking about you, your gorgeous kids and your DH today. I have no idea when or if it will get easier so I'm sending you heaps of :hug:.

I can't believe it has been a year. Michelle, I hope you are doing ok. As much as can be expected anyway :hug:

:hug: you have been on my mind all day.

Michelle you have shown such strenghth of character as you've led your family through this ongoing grieving process... May the memories of him be ever so sweet tonight xo

:hug: :hug:

Thinking of you and your Kids at this tough time.

Michelle my dad died in 1983 when I was 9 and my mum was 36. It got easier in fits and starts over the years, but I can tell you how it is now.

Now it is easier than it ever was. Some days go by when I don't think of him. That is not a bad thing - some days I don't think of my mum and she lives 15 minutes away! But what I mean is there is no constant pain that gnaws at me. We have photos of him in our house and he is part of my background. I know my mother says not a day goes by when she doesn't think of him, but we can actually speak about him without us both dissolving into tears. My mum jokes about how she got him "just how she wanted him" before he died - now she threatens my stepdad not to ruin all her good work. She insists that she will go first this time.

My eldest son Flynn is the spitting image of him. They are so alike in personality too. I can look at my son without grieving for my dad, which I am grateful for.

My middle child, Ollie, has heard me talking about "Poppy Ivan" and how he died, how he was buried, how I felt when he died. The other week he said "Mummy, a long time ago Poppy Ivan died so Grandma put him in a die-box [ie: a coffin] for a present" [because to a three-year-old everything in a box MUST be a present].

My daughter Rose was born on the 27th anniversary of my dad's death, in the same house where he died. Just metres away from the very spot, actually.

All my kids have mine, and my dad's, surname.

Michelle, please know that it will get easier with time, your children will love him, and your grandchildren will love him. :hug: