Parenting after Miscarriage or loss ~ July 2010

Deb it's so great to hear that your daughter is back home! Sounds like it's been quite full on, but I'm very glad to hear that she is back.

We've just been bouncing from one disaster to another. Sam spent a couple of nights in hospital with croup, DH broke a rib in a motorbike crash (damned lucky it wasn't worse!) and today I just had the clutch go in my car smack in the middle of a busy Sydney intersection... topped off with a healthy serve of financial woes and seriously bad arthritis flares for me. But I now have a disability support pension, so hopefully we can get on top of things soon.

BW

OMG Deb, I'm doing such a happy dance that R is home!!!!!!!!! :cheer: :D What fabulous news, you've made my night! I've thought of you, and her, often through this time, I'm so glad she's back where she belongs, and wiser for the experience. Painful it may be :(, but it will certainly be for the best.

Lee, that sounds like hard work :( We'll be here for you to vent to, FWIW. I know that doesn't help you get any sleep!!!

Lee sending you a hug and hope you manage to get some rest while your Hubby is away. How was your little break away??

Deb I'm so happy that your eldest DD is home and safe with you..I really do feel for her but maybe the stay with her dad was what she needed so she could really *see* for herself how he is itms. I absolutely love hearing you say how much you love school hols. Makes me warm and sqiushy on the inside cos it seems like a lot of parents loathe school hols as they "have" to spend time with their kids and to me that's sad as I love having my boy around and miss him terribly when he's at his Nan's or with his godparents but know its just as important for hi to be spending time away from me too lol. God help me next year when he starts preschool.

BW I hope you guys catch a break soon..sounds like things have been tough lately.

Jayne :happybirthday: I hope you've had a wonderful day.

Well as most of you know I had another m/c last week :( I thought that was our final chance of having another bub but DH surprised me and said he wants to try once more. So now I'm not sure where to turn for help. I think we need to get another opinion cos to me 6 little angels is far far too many to just write off as "oh well it obviously wasn't meant to be". There has to be a reason and a way to help stop this from happening again.
DH is spending the night in hospital tonight as he had his op for his kidney stones and he was late going to theatre and in lots of pain when he woke up so I'll pick him up in the morning. DS is sleeping over at the IL's house as we were uncertain about what was happening with DH and didn't want to have to get him out of bed if I had to bring DH home late tonight.

I hope all you Melbourne girls and the ones traveling there this weekend have a blast..Can't wait to hear all about it.

Hi to everyone else. I hope you're all doing really well.

Mako - hugs babe... I'm with Deb and one of the few that loves school hols (not for entirely non-selfish reasons though, love not rushing in the mornings and just chilling a bit with the bigger ones) but we only have 3 school terms in Tassie, so have just finished hols, now got to wait till Christmas! I'm no expert, but yes, 6 losses cannot surely be a coincidence, Deb and Michelle will no doubt help with 'a plan'.... you need a Dr on your side, and one that is clued up. My girlfriend in Sydney has seen a good FS, she lives in Rhodes, I will ask her who it was and get back to you. She also has a good Chinese herbalist, and fell pg first time on a magic potion, sadly she miscarried at 9 weeks though, but she is 42 and it's going to be harder naturally. I wish I could do it for you, I'm one of those people you love to hate that falls pregnant at the mere whiff of a little spermie, just hate that it's been so heartbreaking for you hon, you are so kind and deserving. I know falling pregnant isn't so much the issue, it's holding the pregnancy, so here's hoping you get the right understanding and support to ensure your next pregnancy goes to term. Hugs again. Oh and I wish you were coming to Melbourne!

Just realised girls, it's tomorrow I fly out, well 10.30pm, will need a couple of matchsticks for my eyes!

Lee xoxo

Mako, have you considered seeing someone in the line of acupuncture, traditional chinese medicine or similar?

My issues weren't puzzled out by any of the doctors I saw as they ignored the completely normal, but only just under problem limits levels on some of my blood tests. The woman I saw for acupuncture had a theory that I just had so much stuff going wrong with my body that levels which wouldn't worry someone else were a problem for me. When we treated them, I got Sam.

Unfortunately she's in Rozelle so it would be a hell of a drive for you. I wonder if we could find someone similar up that way. I would be happy to call them and see if they can recommend someone in your area if that would help.

BW

Thanks Lee and BW..My results apparently come back either just ok or borderline kwim..well this is what I've been told anyway.
BW can you pm me the details of the person you saw and I can call them when I feel up to it?

I'm a bit confused about it all cos we don't really seem to have a problem falling pregnant but in keeping it growing so honestly I feel like a huge failure and no matter how many times I'm told by whoever that I'm not I just don't seem to feel any different.
When I saw my GP last week he asked me what we planned on doing as far as trying again and at that point I really thought that would be it for us but he asked if we'd ever consider surrogacy :0 I told him no way would that even be an option as my DH isn't keen on the IVF path if it ever came to that..He has nothing against it or people who have to go down and we have friends who have done or are going through IVF now but it's just something he wouldn't go for personally and that is ok by me itms.

Have fun in Melbourne Lee! What time are you getting in?

It's interesting Mako ut many recurrent miscarriagers do not have a problem falling pregnant - but staying pregnant is the issue. It is very very frequently autoimmune & very frequently the cause is unknown at this time.

Big big cuddles darling - I feel very very strongly that you need clexane - preferably from ovulation... At the least. We'll talk when you're up to it. :hug:

Deb - leave Hobart at 10.15pm, arrive Melbourne 11.30pm Thursday (tomorrow) really looking forward to meeting the beautiful girls !!!! I have a feeling it will be a very special weekend xoxo

To all the girls heading to Melbourne this weekend..Have fantastic time and travel safely.I'm looking forward to hearing what a wonderful weekend you've all had :)

Wish you could be here girls! Ive met Amanda already and she is fabulous. I cant wait to meet the other girls (I already know how awesome Michelle is ofcourse and Im dying for Gorgeous George cuddles!)

Wow, wow, wow... what a lovely afternoon!!! Thank you so much to all the amazing ladies that were lucky enough to be able to meet us in Melbourne. I wish that the rest of you were able to join us... we missed you... but had a wonderful time!!

It was so wonderful to meet those of you I haven't met before and great to see those I have met, again!! It was truely special to have some really good cuddles with the gorgeous George!! And great to see the other three little men... even if I do still smell like D's spew (LOL... I really need to get used to that again don't I?)!!! It definitely made me a want this little bubba out... although I'm a little scared about that thought all of a sudden!! I wish I could of been at dinner last night.. sounds like you all had a lot of fun... but I'm so thankful I was able to be there today. Thank you again, you're all very special people and I can't wait for the annual catch up!!

Jayne - All the very best for the big move hun... what an adventure. Make sure you keep in touch!! I can't believe you won't be in Perth the next time we go back to visit.. it just won't be the same!!

Well... I'm really tired... this baby has exhausted me today and my poor belly is still feeling really tight and sore.. must be stretching, I'm convinced I'm going to get a lot bigger in the next 5 weeks and 5 days!! Thanks for all the lovely comments today.. and I'm glad you liked the Mars Bar slice and Vanilla slices!!

Safe travels home everyone... I was waiting out the front for a little while, poor DH got a bit lost and Luke was sound asleep by the time they found me!!

Kel xxx

I am so glad you could come also Kelly! It was so lovely to meet you & your beautiful belly! We ate way too much last night but we walked it off when Jayney got a bit bushed! Aaah it was lovely soaking up Melbourne post Magpies Mayhem!

I'm exhausted but happy to see my little people again!

What a wonderful weekend. It was so lovely to meet those of you I haven't met before and to see again those that I have met. What a beautiful group of women. I just wish I could have stayed longer. We had a great but very long weekend. After leaving you guys we had dinner at DH's aunt's house and the kids were so well behaved, then we went back to DH's cousin's house where we were staying and DD went straight to bed, although DS decided it was party time and stayed up til 11pm! We then went to the St Kilda markets yesterday and had lunch in the botanic gardens before leaving for home. We didn't get home until 9pm last night after leaving for Melbourne at 9am on Sat, so it was a very long but lovely couple of days!

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend and a safe trip home xx

Doing it tough tonight guys. 4 years ago I was in labour with Harry and my world was crashing down around me. It is crystal clear in my mind. Every contraction and emotion is imprinted in my mind.

I just finished making his birthday cake. What I would give to watch him eat it :(

4 years gone and it still hurts, really really bad.

Oh sweetheart. :comfort: What I would give for you to have the experience of him eating it also. Nothing I can say is anything but hollow in the face of such a memory. Just know that I hold your hand & your heart as you relive your Harry's birth. I am just so sorry. :cry: :comfort: :hug:

Spring I'm sending you a big :hug: hun. I wish Harry was here to eat his beautiful cake that his very special mumma has made him :hug: Happy 4th Birthday sweet little Harry xo

Freya how are you today? You've been on my mind most of today. :hug:

Spring - I am sending you a big squishy hug as you ride the waves of memories. You are not alone. You are surrounded by love :hug: Happy 4th Birthday Harry xxxx