Parenting after Miscarriage or loss ~ July 2010

Kel Congrats on hitting the 20 week mark :) Sage is also testing the boundaries alot atm. I'm thinking its the age they are at and just trying to figure out exactly what they can get away with. Its not much fun when they scream at you for no reason or just because they can't have what they want.

Freya :happybirthday: I hope you are having a wonderful day and I hope you managed to get a cake!!

Jayne How are you doing hun? I think of you so often :hug:

Bun I'd call your mum and have a chat with her about how you are feeling. I hope the little ones are doing ok and sleeping a bit more for you while their Daddy is O/S.

Janie Glad to hear the TTing is going ok. Just try not to put too much pressure on yourself or on N. He's still only a little boy ;) The pre school I'm thinking of sending Sage to next year said they have quite a few 3 and 4 year olds who are still in nappies.

Deb How's that headache of yours? I hope it found the door fairly quickly :hug: I think of you often too and wonder how you and the kids are doing :hug:

Michelle I'm thinking of you and Baby George. I've just had a look at your newest pics and they are just beautiful. You have a very special boy there who is most definately being watched over by his Daddy :hug:

Spring How are you doing? Happy 6 months to Ben for the other day :)

I'm ok. The pain I had the other day has gone so I'm not too sure what it was but I'm not worrying about it now. We've had a busy weekend.DH and I both worked yesterday and then we all went to an Engagement Party last night. Sage had a blast playing with some other kids there and this morning we went to see Shrek 4. DH liked it and I liked what I saw of it. Sage was too busy running around the cinema and dancing and decided to hide his boots lol. It wasn't until we started to leave that I realised he only had his socks on lol. I'm so pleased there was only abou10 people max in the cinema as I'd feel so bad if he was running around doing what he was doing if it was packed. He wasn't being noisy or anything..just dancing and running up and down the isle and thinking it was a slippery slide by sitting on his bum and sliding down saying weee weee lol.

George really is a gorgeous little boy... I was comparing the pictures of him to the picture of Lilly when she was born - you sure can tell they are siblings!

Anyway, I'm feeling a little thick at the moment - I had assumed that George was in NICU as a result of being a little bit early... but now that I've seen pictures and read Deb's updates I know that's not the case, but I have no idea what the problem actually is. Have I missed something?

We've been struggling big time here with antibiotics... Sam will simply NOT take liquid antibiotics, so we've had to resort to emptying capsules of antibiotics into his food... it was a rather worrying couple of days before we figured out how to get him to take it. He's not always getting a full dose, but he's getting more than if we were trying to squirt a syringe of stuff into his mouth, and I figure some is better than none... it's making a difference and I'm suddenly remembering how incredibly active my boy is when he's not sick. He's having a rough winter this year.

Hopefully everyone else is well, or at least heading towards it.

BW

Michelle - I just LOVE the pics you've been putting on FB.. George is absolutely adorable and I'm so pleased you've had some lovely cuddles with him.

BW - Hope the antibiotics are working their magic for you now!! I'm with you, not really sure what's going on with George either but praying all is ok!!

Mako - Sounds like Sage had a great time at the movies - LOL!! Glad the pain has eased.

Jayne - Thinking of you.

Janie - Thanks for the chat this morning... and sorry, I really needed to get that out. Will let you know how we go!

Sorry, I feel like I'm always whinging about such tiny little things that in the scheme of what's going on in here, don't really matter but being away from our family and friends, I really don't feel like I have anywhere else to turn. I've got my 20 week scan this afternoon and of all the days, DS has come down sick and I don't know what to do. We had planned to take him along to the scan with us but he got up this morning and vomited (and that's after a horrible night of vomiting not last night but the night before) so not sure what's going on and don't know if we will be able to take him. I'm so upset... we don't have anyone that can look after him, so that means, DH having to stay home with DS and me having to go to my scan alone. I'm sooo NOT at all happy about that... especially after one of the lovely ladies in my BellyBuddies thread lost her little boy this week... I'm feeling so upset and nervous. I really don't want to go on my own but can't even ask anyone else to look after DS in case he's got a bug... certainly don't want to get anyone else sick. And.. of course I'm worried about getting sick too and how that will affect bub. Thankfully I'm getting a few good kicks this morning, so am pretty confident all will be ok but still desperately want DH to be there with me. This will be our last pg and I want him to share this special scan with me. I guess I can only pray that DS is ok.. scan isn't until 3.30pm.. hopefully it was just something he ate. Sorry again, I know this is insignificant in the scheme of things, just feeling very emotional.. damn pg hormones - LOL.

Kel xx

Oh Kelly I hope he improves a bit so maybe he can come? Is it possible to change the appointment time?I am sure you've thought of all of these things. If I was there I would come with you honey. :hug: I'll be thinking of you. Let us know & I will be sure to light a candle for you as you have your u/s. :hug:

Hi guys. Thanks for all your support re my mum. I think I got the message across when I skyped her the other night because she actually phoned me the next day! I nearly fell off my chair. I have spoken to her again since then so all is good. Laney - you may be right in that she just worries about interrupting me when I am feeding Josh or otherwise busy but like you said, I would rather be interrupted than not contacted! And I can always just say I will phone back in 20 minutes. Anyway, all is well again and I am surviving on my own. We have had the most full on week at the Kids Festival - DD has had a ball so we are having a quiet day today to recuperate. DD now has a cold too which is no surprise, I imagine there would have been germs galore at a festival full of kids in winter!!

Jayne - how are you doing hun? Has Alan gone away again?

Kelly - I hope Luke is better this arvo so you can all go to your scan. I totally agree - times like this really suck when you have no family around. I have just bit the bullet and got myself a fab babysitter. She is coming twice a week for a couple of hours while DH is away so I can get some exercise and do the shopping, and she is available last minute a lot of the time too. Now I don't know how I ever managed without her! Maybe if you ask around or playgroup of something you can get a recommendation for a good babysitter for if/when something like this happens next time?

Deb - thanks for all the updates re Michelle. How are you going hun?

mako - glad to hear the pain has gone now. I wonder what it was?

Janie - yay on TTing!! We are going backwards at the moment. She won't even attempt it, just insists on a nappy. Sigh...

Michelle - I LOVE the FB pics!! George looks like a lovely chubby boy, especially for one so early. What were his birth stats? I hope you are getting lots of cuddles now. Is he able to feed yet? Congrats hun, what a lovely little man :)

Hi to everyone else, hope you all had a lovely weekend :)

Kelly How did your scan go? I hope you didn't have to go solo and I hope Luke is feeling better too.

Bun So pleased you sorted some stuff out with your mum. Its awful when there is a bit of tension in the air ;)
I hope Catherine is feeling better soon too. Your latest pics are beautiful :)

Hi to everyone. No time for personals right now as I need to go find something to cook a certain little boy something for dinner as his daddy and mummy won't be eating until late tonight as DH is working late and then playing basketball:rolleyes:

Similar story here, mako. I'm currently hiding for a little while as in the night garden will keep Sam quiet and give me some space for a bit. We're both sick, but he's recovering faster than me... DH just called... normally home at 6pm, hasn't left work yet, doesn't know when he'll be able to, and I just want to cry! At least I just have stuff that I can reheat for everyone's dinner tonight - I was exhausted before I even got out of bed.

BW

Sorry... selfish post warning...

Had my scan today and I'm afraid all didn't quite go to plan. Wtf is going on... can't something just go right for once!!!?? I'm so frustrated and angry and upset and just really don't know what to think. We're praying everything is ok and all indications point towards it all being ok but there's a shadow of doubt on one of the measurements from today. My head is all over the place so sorry for the poor explanation but it was a measurement in the brain... the amount of fluid between two points... and it was a bit higher than they would like. Everything else looked fine.. which is really positive but there's still this grey area that they're a bit worried about. Its normally something that is associated with downs syndrome.. but the other indicators, including my 12 week scan results and the measurement in the bone in bubs nose... were all perfect, so it's a bit confusing. We are seeing our OB on Wednesday avo so will know more then... but of course our OB is away on holidays isn't she... so we're seeing her replacement. The guy today said that the couple of things they'd do are an Amnio (but with my other good results he probably wouldn't go down that track).. or another scan and MRI to check that everything is ok. So we're in limbo a little bit and it's not much fun. I'm just really p*ssed off and don't know what to think. Haven't we all been through enough and why can't we just have some good news in here for once!!

Sorry guys... was really hoping to bring some better news in here. The only good thing about today is that DH was at the scan with me... THANK GOD.. I would not have coped without him. Luke seems to be a lot better, so he came along too... although when we were trying to understand what was going on he kept saying he was feeling sick!!! Just what we needed. He was ok though and i think he's just playing it up now... little monster!

Anyway gotta go get some rest, I'm exhausted.

Kel xxxx

Kelly, I am so sorry - hopefully it's just a funky measurement and all is definitely ok. I hope the wait until Wednesday isn't too long.

BW

Kel Sending you so many huge :hug: right now. As I said a few minutes ago I'm so sorry things didn't go as expected today and hope Wednesday is here before you know it. I wish I was closer so I could give you a :hug: IRL. Just know that I'll be thinking of you and am hoping like mad that everything works out so much better on Wednesday :comfort:

Oh my love I am sorry you've been left in limbo. :comfort: Those other markers all sound great - I am hoping that this will prove to be fine also. Roll on Wednesday... :hug:

Kel: I'm sorry you've been made to worry :comfort: I hope Wednesday brings wonderful news.

Anna: haven't seen you around much Hun. I just wanted to check that you're ok

Hi ladies,

Kelly just wanted to pop in and send you massive :hug: I know how stressful 'not knowing' can be. Try to stay positive its probably just one of those things that will be gone by the time you have another scan. Ive heard of many a story where some measurement or other is not exactly where it should be and all has been ok. My SIL sister had a very similar issue with her second DS and by the time they went to the specialist the fluid around the brain was at normal levels.

Hope everyone else is well, im trying to read but cant manage to post. Miss N is a really tricky bub and its a daily struggle to get things done. She is either laughing, feeding or crying there is in between. We are going away this week for a few days so hopefully the fresh air and no housework will put a little spring in my step.

Any George / Michelle updates?? He looks sooo adorable and Im so thrilled she has had some mummy time with her precious newborn xxx

Thinking of you all...

Lis xx

Oh Lis, it's so tough with a full-on baby :hug: Rest assured, things will get easier, although that sounds very trite right now. Hang in there babe. I spoke to Michelle earlier tonight, which was wonderful. She sounds amazing! And her littlest guy is doing as well as can be expected. Lots of waiting and watching ATM I think, which is very hard. But as all of us on fb know, he is SO SO cute!!!

Kelly, you know I'm here :hug:

:hug: Lisa. Miss N sounds very similar to how Sage was as a little bub. Enjoy your little break away and soak up all the fresh air you possibly can. How is Miss A doing?

Kel How are you doing this morning? I hope you managed some sleep last night and that Luke slept well too :hug:

Thanks for the little update Janie. I have to say you have 2 very handsome boys there ;) I checked out your latest pics on FB and OMG they are both adorable!!

Freya How are you hunny? Did you have a nice birthday with your boys?

Spring how are you? How are your boys doing? How's the sleeping going?

BW I hope you managed ok last night. I saw your DH was out late and you had to do the bedtime thing yourself.

Thanks for asking, mako. We managed. I just skipped Sam's bath as I didn't physically feel up to it. Sam woke up when I put another blanket over him as I'd just turned off the air conditioning and was heading to bed so I brought him in with me and he slept through. He's very clingy and upset today though - he's very much a daddy's boy and DH had left before Sam woke up yesterday and arrived home long after he was asleep. I've now lost my voice completely, so as much as I want to call Michelle, it's not happening! :( I've been croaking for a long time, now I've just got nothing. Fun day as I have an appointment with my rheumy this afternoon.

In more exciting news - I've been off my methotrexate for so long due to illness that I'm going to chat to my rheumy about staying off it and going back to IVF after we've got through the appropriate waiting time. Still means at least a year before any subsequent child arrives as it's a minimum of three months off the drug before I can try again. How's an age gap of two and a half years? I'm sort of thinking I'd like to wait a little longer, but it's going to be 6-8 weeks before the methotrexate starts to work again and I don't want to have to go through more than I have to.

BW

BW glad to hear Sam slept well last night. Sorry to hear you've lost your voice though.
As for the age gap..I personally think any age gap is perfect especially for those of us who don't have the privilage of being able to choose when our babies are born kwim?
Anyway I hope your appointment goes well today.

I know exactly what you mean... just when you're dealing with chronic illness as I am, having kids too close together may be a recipe for disaster. Sam seems to be growing up into a helpful little boy, so I think we'd manage.

BW

Im mentally here again so I can finally post something more than a few words.

Firstly :hug: Michelle, I think about you and Gorgeous George every.single.day and I hope that things are looking up for you guys. Your doing such an amazing job, he is just divine. When I can be 110% sure we are lurgy free I am heading your way for a hug and something chocolatey (and then a lovestruck glance at Georgie boy through the NICU window ;) ).

BW - good luck with your appt today. As for the age gap, I think each 'gap' has its pro's and con's, I guess it boils down to how long your willing to wait?

Mako - how are you doing lovely? I think about you too alot.

Kelly - :hug: Oh hun how scary. I sincerely hope its technician error or just some weird thing that will have disappeared by the next scan.

Lisa - ah the joys of babies huh. FWIW Stellan was much the same the first 6mths and he is a breeeeeeeeeeze now. I truly think 12mths comes with a magic switch that instantly changes everything. Enjoy your weekend away!

Spring - hows the weather up there in my fave place!?

Janie - thanks so much for the advice the other day, greatly appreciated. Yay for TTing too. Its a brilliant time when you are nearly on your way to one less bum to wipe ;)

Jayney - your on my mind alot too my dear. I havent had a chance to let you know Im thinking of you but I am :hug:

Hello to everyone else!


AFM - life is not fabulous atm. Im just suddenly finding I am not coping with the 3 boys anymore, I feel very down most days and very lonely. Plus we've all been sick with colds but poor Jett came down with it the worst, he has been hardly eating/drinking and just crying and sleeping and feverish since week before last. Today, after a course of AB's and 10 nights of nonsleeping-coughing-crying he!! and a whole lotta worry on my part, he seems to be as close to normal as he can be. And thankgod for that because Id reached breaking point. Plus the dog got sick and had a stay at the vets which ended up costing a bucketload of moola we didnt have. And ofcourse Dh is the cherry on the crapcake. Aaaaaaaaaaaand now it looks like Dh will be going away at the end of the year for a deployment. Not a huge deal just with the way Im feeling right now (not coping and lonely), it doesnt bode well for us at all.
I figure its been such a bad few weeks (and coinciding with a new financial year) that things must go on the up now.

There are a whole lot of other things I could ramble on about but I think Ive done my selfish rant thing enough for one day, certainly isnt a biggie in the grand scheme of things :lol:

My birthday was ok. My girlfriends took me out on Sat night and shouted me dinner/drinks; crawled home with a headache at 12:30am. I still dont know how I manage to have such awesome friends. My actual bday on sunday, Dh "let" me sleep in til midday then we went off to have fish and chips at Brighton while watching the planes land/take off. Was fine until the boys went feral and I upended half a bottle of coke on my pants. Needless to say I was eager to head home and hide.

Kelly - Hugs. I hope all turns out ok

Hi all. I am currently holding one sick and clingy bubba:( Her temps just keep spiking up 39.:(

Its great to see you back Freya. I think we've all missed you and have been wondering how you are doing. I hope all the boys are getting better and will stay that way for quite some time now. You sure have had enough illness to last you for a very long time :hug:
I'm pleased you managed to get out with your friends for dinner/drinks etc. You sure do deserve to do that. I have to say I'm a little jealous about going to Brighton to watch the planes though. I remember doing that as a kid and loved it..Can't wait to take Sage there one day to do the same.

BW I'm sure you will find that Sam will become more independent and will do so much more for himself as he gets older. Sage is a joy at present and he still loves to snuggle on the lounge with me or DH. He does however know how to keep himself amused for longer periods of time playing with his toys inside and outside. He doesn't need to be glued to my leg nor have me in sight all the time either. He is also very independent when it comes to food..He likes to feed himself everything and even goes to the pantry and gets his own cereal for breakfast (mind you I've had to clean up many a mess after he has helped himself and refused me to help just a tiny bit) Oh well that's all part of growing up I guess.
Anyway I guess what I'm trying to say is that even with a chronic illness that that kind of age gap should be ok :hug:

As for me I haven't said much lately about "me" as I'm not coping too well. Sometimes I'm doing ok but others I just wish I could run away and hide :(
Today is one of the run away and hide days. I decided to go out for lunch with some great friends and I haven't seen any of them for so long due to me working and being sick etc etc. Anyway one has a baby who is only 2 weeks old and one is 22 weeks preg which is wonderful and I truly am very happy for them both but I just can't help thinking that I should be either nearly ready to give birth or a few weeks further along in pregnancy as my friend. I know that sounds incredibly selfish but I just wish it was different for me. I guess I'm more emotional atm as AF is due in a couple of days and as we all know those hormones don't help with rational feelings. I just wish things would work out for me or that I could be happy with Sage being an only child but my heart aches for another baby.
I'm sorry for my selfish rant too especially with Michelle and Kelly and Jayne and Deb all going through very very difficult times atm :hug: to you all

Thanks for all the support guys... it's very much appreciated but hopefully it's all for nothing!!! I'm praying that everything is going to be ok but I guess we'll know a little bit more after our appointment tomorrow. It can't come fast enough. I'm still so frustrated that my OB is on holidays.. always the way. Anyway, as positive as I'm trying to be, I'm not feeling too good today.. I think I'm just really tired and of course have had a headache all day. To top it off, Luke has been a little sh*t all day!!! He's definitely back to his normal self alright.. attitude and all. He woke up really, really happy but has just been 'naughty' all day... with a massive tantrum in the supermarket (because we were in the fridge section and he was cold.. I mean, really) and a scene at the playground because he didn't want to go home... even though it took me FOREVER to get him there in the first place... just frustrating things that I really didn't need today. Needless to say there have been tears and I'm just feeling really drained. I don't really know what to expect from my appointment tomorrow.... aaarrrrgggg.. I just need to stop thinking about it!!!

Mako - Massive hugs hun and I'm sooooo glad to see you finally posting something about 'you'. I've been really worried and I hope you're feeling a little better for getting just a little bit of it out. We're all here for you no matter how insignificant you *think* your issues might be!! God knows I carry on about totally insignificant and silly things ALL the time!!! LOL. I completely understand how you were feeling today... it sounds exactly how I felt too... as much as you're so happy for your friends, its always going to have an effect and I remember how much I struggled with those feelings too. That's why we're all here for you!!! I'm just praying like mad that you're time comes again SOON.. you deserve it more than anything!!

Bek - Hope you guys are ok... there's nothing worse than a bub with a temp. Poor little poppet.

Freya - More hugs for you too... sounds like you're going through a rough little patch too and I hope things start looking up soon.

BW - I'm sure you would manage no matter what the age gap.. these things can't be planned anyway (as most of us know) so I think you should just go for it!!!! I must say thought, Luke is at a really good stage now (being 3) and I think that age gap is pretty good.. he's so independent now.. toilet trained and able to help out a bit more.. which I think is going to make a big difference with a newborn!! Good luck.

Michelle - Just noticed on FB that you've had your first BF with George... am soooo delighted... such wonderfu news and I hope things are going ok. I'm thinking of you constantly.

Jayne - Thanks for the text earlier and I hope all is going ok with you... really need to give you a call for a good chat one of these days! I'm so hopeless.

Janie - Thanks also for the text and I'm looking forward to catching up later this week???

Kel xxx

Just a quick one as Sam is unhappy and needs some attention.

Seems that we have no choice in taking the next step with IVF. In the words of my rheumy - now or never. My liver function is crapping out with the methotrexate so my instructions are to stop taking it, go back to 5mg of prednisone (to keep it as low as possible and give me that bit extra that I need) increase the dosage of my other arthritis medication if my body can tolerate it.

Major news... scary news as the last blood test that made my rheumy say it was taken when I'd not been taking much of it at all... Just waiting for DH to get home so I can tell him everything.

BW

Kelly, yes! If you can cope with sitting in my mess you are welcome to come here on Thurs. I'm thinking everywhere out and about will be really busy!

Janie - Excellent... we'll definitely come over!! Soooo happy to sit in mess... it'll feel excactly like home for me... LOL!!! Just let me know what time you want us to head over and hopefully I'll be in a better mood by then and know a bit more about what's going on.. have been feeling a bit 'flat' today.

BW - Good luck! Not really sure what it all means but good luck!!!

Kel xxx

Thinking of you today Kelly and am holding your hand from afar :hug:

BW I hope you managed to have a chat with your DH last night about your future plans for IVF and so on.

Jayne How are you doing sweet lady? You've been rather quiet and I'm worried about you :hug:

Michelle THANK YOU so much for sharing your photos and updates on how your gorgeous boy is coming along.I know I've said it before but he is just adorable :hug:

I just want you all to know there is a new update on Michelle & George HERE

Thanks Mako.

Just got back from my appointment with the OB and we had a really, really good chat with her. She was fanstastic, although I still don't really know what to do. Basically, the measurement of fluid in the babys brain is just over what they would like... they want it to be under 10mm and ours was 10.7mm.. so just over. Although 'normal' is between 7mm and 8mm. They're pretty sure its not downs, because of all the other results and the fact they couldn't find anything else.. but they can't rule out another chromosonal (sp?) abnormality, or another 'problem' with the baby... ranging from something really simple to something severe. The results they showed us from a recent study were good but it was such a small sample size, so I don't know what to think. From 43 cases where the measurement was between 10mm and 12mm, 40 of them were completely fine at 2 years of age, 2 of them had a mild abnormality and 1 of them had a severe abnormality. So chances are, all is going to be fine but as we know far too well... there's still that chance of something being wrong, and knowing our luck..... Anyway from here, there are lots of tests we can do but most likely none of them are going to come back with anything specific. They took more bloods today to rule out a few things and I have another scan to book in for two weeks time.. so they can check it all again. They also suggested and Amnio.. again to rule a chromosonal problem out. I'm so unsure as to whether to do this or not. She said that most likely it would come back normal but that at least it would put our mind at ease and rule it out altogeher.. but there are obvioulsy risks in doing an amnio and I don't know if I see the point in it. But... then again, it would be nice to know for sure that there's nothing wrong in that department. So... I don't know what to do... I'm not too keen on having a needle stuck into my tummy either. I just don't know. The other test they want to do is an MRI.. which is fine and I think we'll do that in about four weeks too. Basically she said the more tests they do, the more things we can rule out and the better the odds. I'm a little confused still and very scared but at the same time, the odds are in our favour and we should be quite positive.

Sorry for the 'me' post once again... I feel terrible.

Kel xxx

Kelly I am flying out the door but I wanted to squeeze your hand. I will post later - I just wanted you to know I am here, I've read your story and I will answer at length this evening. (MY girls have to see their psychologist).

Having a child with a chromosomal abnormality I can possibly add some light. :hug:

:hug: Kelly. I' not too sure what to say except I'm keeping my :crossfingers: for you. Will your Ob be back from holidays soo and will you see her before you decide on any tests??

Michelle I'm absolutely thrilled for you and the wonderful news. You sure do have a little miracle boy on your hands ;)

Hi to everyone :)

Hi girls

Sorry I have been a bit quiet in here, flat chat at the moment (so whats new!)...

Kelly - have read about whats happening, I'm really sorry babe you have been dealt a bit more worry.... I feel for sure your bub will be fine, but I do understand those niggling doubts and all the scenarious that are no doubt running through your mind..... Firstly, take some deep breaths! I have been the 1%, so sadly this makes me a bit more aware of how one scenario can go.... BUT.... these cases are very very rare, and 9 times out of 10 whatever seemed a problem resolves itself. So, "try" not to worry too much hon. I guess what I would also tell is is to ask yourself what you think you would do if there were a problem, if that answer helps, then that might also help you decide if yout an amnio....sorry, I think I'm babbling and not making much sense at all.... just wanted you to know we are here, and I'm sure Deb will have some very sound advice for you xoxo

Michelle - have been following yours and George's progress, which is BRILLIANT, what a good little man you have there! Will sms you later xoxoxo

Ahhhhhhhhhh, how is everyone going?

Mako - sorry you are having a hard time hon, it's SO tough being around pregnant women and new babes when your arms and heart ache for one...... I wish to god the universe would deliver one right into your arms, that woud be a very lucky little one indeed. I'm putting it out there for you hon, putting the request out VERY FIRMLY TOO! I'm such a good example of "try try again" - it took me a while (and much heartbreak) before I got my little girl - but I just kept trying; I think in the end you have to succeed, you will xoxoxo

Hi girls - sorry no more persies, I'm buggered and need my pillow xoxo

Here's praying for 12 hours straight for all of us xoxo

Lee xoxoxo

Kelly I am fairly strung out tonight and knackered. Tomorrow is our next step in the Court process with a Barrister led Mediation so I have been running around like a blue bottomed fly.

I hope you will forgive me for not posting about your baby's results tonight. I want to give the right time to it and I haven't got that tonight.

Just know the odds are in your favor. There are some more tests that can be done and only you can make that choice. I will come back either tomorrow evening or Friday morning.

I do apologise for this. :comfort:

Oh Deb... don't be silly... you're going through a lot more than me right now and you need to focus on that. I hope today goes well for you, as awful as I'm assuming it will be (from the past experiences so far). Massive hugs... I will be thinking of you. We're not making any decision until next week, so no hurry and please don't worry about me... focus on you today!

Lee - I'm sorry to hear you're not feeling too great atm either. Hope you managed to get some good sleep last night. Thanks for the advice too... it's such a tricky situation and I'm definitely thinking about it all WAY too much!

Michelle - I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that all is going so well with George!!! I'm so excited and just LOVING the pics on FB.. what a cutie... hope you can make it to Melb again one of these days so we can have a little cuddle!!! Big, big, big hugs for all of you!!

Mako - Yeah, my OB is back on Monday and they've squashed me in late Monday avo... so nice of them. So we're going to wait and have a good chat to her about it too, before we decide anything.

Well... DH was up at 4am to get to the airport, he's away now for a couple of days, so I haven't had the best nights sleep once again. I struggle to get back to sleep once he's up... so hopefully tonight with him away, I might get a good sleep... although it never seems to work that way - LOL. I just wish I could pop on over to my Mum's and hang out for the day... I'm sooooo in need of a Mummy's cuddle. She's been away on a cruise but is back today, so at least I can finally talk to her today... not as good as a cuddle, but better than the emails!! I'm really missing *home* atm, which is to be expected I guess. I still just can't believe we're going through this and although I feel deep down that everything is going to be ok.... there's still that doubt and its just not fair!

Kel xxx

Hi Ladies,
I'm here, just having lots of issues figuring out what I feel & what I'm 'supposed' to be feeling. Just feeling like an overall loser TBH.
Jayne

Jayne, you are so NOT a loser :hug: I wish I had your number so I could text you, I want to reach through the screen and give you a big hug. Wish I could say something helpful. But know that we're here for you xoxo

Darl, please pop in when you can, I've been thinking and worrying about you all night and morning. I hate that you have been made to feel this way, it's not fair :(

Jayne you are so NOT a loser babe. You are a wonderful person who shouldn't have to be going through what you are and PLEASE know this is NOT your fault. I wish I lived closer to you so I could give you a :hug: IRL instead of the cyber kind.
How are the girls? Did you guys talk to them about this or are you waiting for a bit?

Michelle I hope you enjoyed your 1st night rooming in with your gorgeous little boy and I hope the weekend brings you more exciting moments ;)

Deb How did things go yesterday? I was thinking of you all day :hug:

Bek Happy Birthday to Eva. I can't believe how fast that has gone.

DH,Sage and I are going away today until Sunday night. I've just finished packing the car and we'll head off as soon as DH comes home from work.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Been thinking of you all night Michelle, wondering how you were going with the little wee man in your room. I'm sorry, but I LMAO reading FB about having to WAKE him for a feed. Who would ever have thought that you would have to wake one of your little people!!! I mean this in the nicest possible way - of course!

Hi guys,

So sorry I haven't been around much lately, especially with all that has been happening. I have been up to my eyeballs in vomit and diarrhoea the last few days (sorry, TMI!). What a time for DH to be away. I am exhausted and feeling very isolated. Thankfully DH will be back in another week.

Kelly - hun I am so sorry to hear about the news at your scan. That must have been quite a shock and certainly not what you need after all that you have been through already. I really hope it will all turn out to be fine, it does sound like the odds are in your favour, but I know you must still be feeling awfully worried. Have you decided if you will get further testing done? I am so glad DH was there with you. Huge :hug: hun. FWIW, I know several people who have had similar worries after their 19 week scan and at a repeat scan there were no problems at all.

Jayne - I have just read your update in your other thread. I am so proud of how you are handling this situation. It must be so hard to give him another chance and I can totally understand how hard it must be for you if you can't get in touch with him if he is away. It will take a long time to get the trust back and he needs to understand that. Do you think you may try counselling? And I agree that a job in Aus is a great idea. I hate that he has done this to you. You are such a lovely person and you deserve so much better. We are heading back to Perth again for a visit in a couple of weeks and I would love to catch up again if you are free.

Deb - woo hoo hun, what a relief! You must be so glad to put all this behind you and I am so happy to hear that it is all over.

Mako - huge big :hug: hun. I know how hard it is being around preggers women when you want it so very badly for yourself. And then you hate yourself for feeling that way and that makes you feel even worse! It is totally normal to feel like that hun and I truly hope to hear about your sticky BFP very very soon.

Michelle - I am LOVING your pics of George - what a gorgeous little boy. I can't wait to hear that you are home again :)

BW - how are you feeling about starting IVF again? Did you have a good talk to DH about it?

Hi to everyone else, thinking of you all, just don't have the energy to post much more - think I should head to bed while both kids are actually asleep at the same time *touch wood*.

Still in limbo, I'm afraid. Have told DH about my liver crapping out and not being allowed to take methotrexate any more and the medication switch. I haven't told him about the IVF time limit. For a few days I've been in complete denial because I've felt great on the prednisone again, but I'm in quite a lot of pain tonight, don't know whether I've over done it or it's from the cold/wet, but I hurt. He worked really late Monday night, was grumpy Tuesday night, Sam was up late Wednesday night, Thursday night DH had a GP appointment and got home ridiculously late, and Sam gives all impressions of tonight being a late one and DH is working tomorrow... ARGH! I will admit to being vaguely tempted to just go ahead and do it alone and not tell him... I can't ever have a surprise pregnancy, but he can... don't think I could do it and don't think I could explain the couple of thousand dollars disappearing from the bank accounts...

Sorry to hear that the family have been sick, Bun. We've had far too much of that here lately and it's just not fun!

Jayne... :hug: You are NOT a loser!

BW