DS is BF to sleep for all his naps. He'll be fine for the first 5 or 10 mins then REFUSE (I'm talking screaming, back arching, crying mess) to let me cradle him to feed him. And before anyone asks, YES! He does want milk, he'll take it in ANY other position, even comes and takes it when I put him down, but if I try to lie him over my legs he cracks it. Bigtime. but of course he wont sleep if I feed him in another position
I've had it. I cannot do this battle anymore. It's making me HATE our breastfeeding relationship. I want to love it, I used to, a year ago when he didn't do this and on the rare occasions that he does settle (once a month if that) it's lovely. But I cannot do this 4 times a day everyday anymore.
He refuses to go to sleep on his own, being rocked, patted or any other method you can think of. I've tried them all.
This battle isn't about breastfeeding, it's about sleeping. It's a really tough one. The best thing when youfind yourself in this sort of spot is to stop.
There's nothing wrong with your baby, or with you either for that matter. It may be that he's ready to drop a sleep (how many is he having) or to go to sleep a different way. If he's putting up a fight, then put him down. If he still wants milk, then fine, but make it about feeding ,not sleeping. Then stick him in a pram and go for a walk or do something else completely different.
When DS was like this I started walking him to sleep during the day - still do sometimes. I'd sit him up with a bickie (so there was no suggestion that I expected him to sleep), and he'd nod off pretty quickly if he was tired enough. Had to take him unawares.
Don't fight on, trying to get him to sleep if it's like this - it's horrible and depressing! I know he's crazy tired and desperately needs to sleep, but it really isn't worth it.
yea I didn't mean to make it about breastfeeding that's just the way it seems because that's what I'm doing at the time.
I start when he first shows signs of being tired and he fights and fights for HOURS. He's exausted at the end of it, I try getting him up for a while and just leaving it but he's so grumpy and tired. When he's tired he's really clumsy, then it's a safety issue.
ie today at 2 I took him to bed fed him, fought him for 30 mins, brought him out and within 2 mins he'd chucked a tanty because I brought him inside after checking the letterbox, 5 mins later he fell over, didn't hurt himself but screamed, calmed down after 5mins, wanted to get down so I put him down and he burst into tears and threw himself on the floor because he wanted to be up Took him back to bed and battled with him for another hour and a half and he's finally gone to sleep at 4.
Didn't have the pram today, DF took it to work and it was pouring rain anyway.
I'm afraid that if I don't get him to sleep we'll end up in a horrible cycle like we did when he was 4 months old where he's so overtired, he wont sleep during the day, sleeps badly over night, therefore wont sleep during the day. It took 3 months to break that, I cant do it again.
Not sure if that answers any of your questions, guess I needed to vent some more.
ETA - He has 2 sleeps but still needs them, if he misses out he's so misserable and grumpy.
Honestly, this sounds very much like my DS. It's all up to you - obviously you know better then me what he needs, but spending 1-2 hours getting your child to sleep is pretty awful, so it's no wonder you feel so bad. DS was the same and I did it for months.
It was really hard at the time, but the best advice I ever got was to just stop trying. And yeah, he was absolutely wasted and he needed to sleep, but I needed my sanity too. And you know what - it all got so much easier when I stopped trying so hard.
As for the overtired cycle - yep, been there, a great many times. DS transitioned to 1 day sleep around 15-16 months and his day sleeps got so much better from that age (maybe the 1 sleep was a coincidence).
Oh I hope that is the answer for you, I suspect it is because it sounds like what we've been going through too. I'm finding that the odd day when DD gets up at stupid o'clock she will have to have 2 sleeps, but generally stringing her out until at least 11.30 and letting her have 1 sleep works so much better. If she has either 1 or 2 sleeps, if it goes over 3pm we have a hiddeous bedtime.
Yay to Marcellus - she gave me the same advice and she was right
No I'm not. I've just done the same thing as you guys, is all.
I hope things work better for you now - at the very least, spending less time stressing about it really does make things easier.
I'm so over fighting at nap time!
Why?? What's wrong with my baby??
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When he's tired he's really clumsy, then it's a safety issue. 
I hope that is the answer for you, I suspect it is because it sounds like what we've been going through too. I'm finding that the odd day when DD gets up at stupid o'clock she will have to have 2 sleeps, but generally stringing her out until at least 11.30 and letting her have 1 sleep works so much better. If she has either 1 or 2 sleeps, if it goes over 3pm we have a hiddeous bedtime. 
helps to know you are not alone.
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