When one parent leaves early...

[Teeki]

Before your kids are awake, do you wake them up so they can see them?

DD is getting upset in the mornings because DH leaves for work at 6:35 and she's usually still asleep. Lately I have to wake her in time to get ready for daycare and the mornings are a nightmare. She's so upset at not seeing Daddy that it's hard to get her dressed, into the car, anything. And then because she hasn't been awake long she doesn't like drop-off.

Do you reckon we'd be better off waking her earlier? Then she can see Daddy, and have more time to prepare for daycare. She's really good at catching up sleep with long naps at daycare so I'm thinking she'll be ok.

[Onelittleprincess]

My dd is 3 and DH leaves at 530 am for work. She's started being sad at not seeing daddy but we remind her that she will see him soon and prep her for the day - daddy's at work so were doing xyz then daddy will be home after Peppa pig/play school or a certain activity.

[wysiwyg]

No sometimes is me gone sometimes is DH and dont wake them for either - typically if I go early then DS sleeps in (wish he would when am not working). If I were you I would hold out till clock change 7 Apr as you might find she wakes earlier due to lighter mornings which eliminates the problem. Suppose depends on how good she is after being woken too (my two behavior tends to be better if woken of their own accord)

[Cally]

We went through a stage that DD was always upset when DH was gone, but I just explained like Onelittleprincess when he would be home. No problems now, she's a bit older but knows that Daddy will pick her up in the afternoons so she gets to see him then.

What if he always did the last kiss each night and talked then about seeing her tomorrow afternoon?

[Butterfly Dawn]

I would also say wait for the clocks. Then you can start nudging her awake earlier- say 15mins every few days. just make a little noise and fuss and she will wake of her own accord. I think mornings will be better for you if shes more awake at cc drop off etc

[~Kim~]

No, we never have either (one of us has always done shift work) but in saying that, mine are not morning people able to be woken before a certain time.
If you think she's be ok, then why not try it one day?

[Teeki]

Good idea to wait for daylight savings to be over. We've only got tomorrow as a work day left anyway. DH wants to try waking her tomorrow because he's just as upset at not seeing her as she is. But I think I might get him to wait just that one day.

As for waking her up, I need to wake her at 7 anyway to get ready. I just go in, have the light across the hall on and get things like nappies and clothes ready. Chuck in a kiss on the cheek every now and then and she wakes up pretty happy

Until, that is, she realises Daddy is gone. At night, I feed her to sleep. When she's ready for bed she'll grab DH by the hand and she takes him to our room where she gets our little space set up (so cute!). Then when she and I are all comfy he gives her a kiss, says goodnight, love you, and see you in the morning. Maybe he needs to change the morning part to after daycare tomorrow?

[Cally]

Definitely change to see you after daycare. I know it's a habit thing for us to say, but that could be what she's picking up on.

But also, only one more week until the clocks change and she'll be seeing him anyway as she'll be up that much earlier.

[briggsy's girl]

Can you add a new habit? When I was working before dd woke in the mornings I would leave it til I knew she would be awake and make a "good morning" phone call to her. Only had to be 30 seconds and she was happy. Is that something you can implement?

[Rouge]

My kids all went through that but because of how early DH leaves we couldn't really have them waking up to say goodbye without it cutting their day short by them being in bed earlier, or being tired. They have both gone through the adjustment period, tears because they wake just as he's leaving, or annoyed at the fact they can't say goodbye. We did the phonecall thing for all the kids. Now it's a given. And they are ok with that. They'd rather have Daddy home early in the afternoon to spend time with than early in the morning when they are busy getting ready for school anyhow. So it does get easier.

[Teeki]

This turned out to be a pointless thread lol. That night, she slept all the way from 8 til 6 (woohoo!). So she woke at 6, same time as us, and was still cranky. She got upset when DH left, so I think either way she won't be happy. Bugger.

[aussienic]

I don't think so. Dh starts work at 5 two mornings a week (4 on 4 off roster). He just gives the kids and extra cuddle for the morning one he misses. They are fine now. But they are also used to it as he's been doing it since the last 3 were born. With ds1 he was 3 when dh started this job and it did take some adjusting but he soon got used to extra cuddles at night when daddy wouldn't be there in the morning. And also tried to call home at a certain time to say good morning. That helps as well

[trishalishous]

My dd is 3 and DH leaves at 530 am for work. She's started being sad at not seeing daddy but we remind her that she will see him soon and prep her for the day - daddy's at work so were doing xyz then daddy will be home after Peppa pig/play school or a certain activity.

this is what we do too