For our night routine (and I use that word very loosely) I BF DS2 to sleep in our bed and then transfer him to his cot sometime before we go to bed. DS1 and DD also both fall asleep in there regularly and they get transferred too. Hey, it works for us (sort of ). DS2 wakes every night for multiple feeds, when I hear him I bring him in with us, feed him, and then transfer him back again, if I can be bothered and if he agrees, otherwise he just stays in bed with us for the rest of the night.

Last night I heard him call for me, I went to him, brought him into bed with us and started feeding him BUT for some reason I thought I had one of the other kids and that it wasn’t DS2 (I haven’t BF either of them for a very long time), so weird, I was so disorientated. Anyway, I’m feeding this child and frantically looking for DS2, I’m flapping the doona all over the place, I thought he must have been in bed with us and slipped down under the doona and suffocated (and died), at the same time I was thinking why wasn’t he in his cot, who put this other child in his cot, where could he be, did someone put him on the lounge, WHERE IS HE!!! I am absolutely, franticly panicking. I wake DH us and say “Where is George, I can’t find George!” DH looks at me, rolls over and puts the doona over his head.

A good few minutes of terrifying panic later I realise I have him, he’s the one I’m feeding. The sense of relief and sheer stupidity I feel is bizarre (but welcome).

So weird, just had to share.