Explaining birth to children

[Pink+blue]

Hi, just thought I'd ask for others experiences on explaining birth to children.
I'm currently 22 wks pg with my second bub and my DD (4) as well as my nephew (5) and niece (6) have become curious as to how the baby will 'come out of my belly'.
My niece and nephew were both caesarean births and have had a little brother born in July who was also born via caesarean. My nephew asked yesterday 'are u going to have an operation and is the doctor gonna cut your belly to help you have the baby?' it kind of caught me off guard and I'm not sure the way to go about answering the questions of these curious little ones!!
Any shared opinions/experiences would be great

[*Efjay*]

My kids know both ways can happen & that doctors usually only need to get involved like that (c/S) if something is wrong.

I would be showing your own DD some nice gentle birth videos on You tube. This is what I did with my kids. They all know babies come out of your vagina but also know that sometimes they (mum & or bub) need help & the quickest way to do that is an operation.

Tell your nephew & niece to talk to their Mum about it.

[Liz]

We were pretty open with where the baby will be coming out, especially since they would likely be there to witness it at the homebirth. I think I just started along the lines of "i'll be pushing the baby out, a bit like doing a big poo' (since they can relate to that! haha) and then as the questions increased, the more the details were expanded upon. My son fell over laughing the first time I said it was coming out of my vagina LOL. Trouble with such openness is they announce to everyone that the baby is coming out of mummy's vagina!

They ended up quite knowledgable actually about birth - the baby's position (from bub being breech and me trying all sorts of things to turn her!), how it comes out, they knew all about the placenta and cord etc. They knew not to lie down in labour, that mummy would be working hard to push the baby out etc.

I remember reading on here once describing the vagina opening up to let baby out as being like pushing your head through the neck of a scivvy. It stretches over your head and then goes back to normal. So I used that too.

[LimeSlice]

I would answer them honestly. I would probably discuss it with their mum first, but as to your own daughter, tell her the truth. My DD was 3 when I was pregnant with her sister, so we had all sorts of discussions about pregnancy and birth, she was fascinated. She also knows that she was born via CS but her sister was a VB...

Use simple terms and be honest.

[LuluHB]

I was very honest with my girls and tried to explain in simplistic but still anatomically accurate terms. They shower a lot with their dad so we talked about how boys and girls look different, and that's so girls can have babies etc.

The mother of girls in each of my kids' classes was due after me, but having a scheduled c-section which really upst the apple cart because why can't we all know what day our baby is coming?? I explained that some mummies need to have an operation so the dr can take the baby out of her tummy, that sometimes mummies know its going to happen like their friends' mum but that most of the time we just have to wait (and wait and wait!) until the baby's ready to come and meet us.

[missbelinda77]

I was wondering what others say for this too.

This topic came up recently with my 4yo (after watching an episode of Neighbours and one of the characters gave birth) - First she asked: How do babies get into your tummy? And I said Umm, God puts them there. Then the next question was: Where is it coming out? (As the midwife handed the baby to the mother) to which I replied: Near where you go to the toilet and she replied: Your bum! That's funny and then ran off laughing.

[My Three Sons]

Having studied midwifery for the past 3 years, I have had a lot of questions from my three boys about birth and where the baby comes out etc. I have always decided on the truth with limited details depending on their curiosity. They all know babies can come out vaginas, or via an operation if there is a reason the baby can't be born vaginally. They all know how they were born, how many hours I was in labour etc. Interestingly, none have asked how they got in there yet! (my eldest is 8)

[Heaven]

I just told DD1 the truth She was cool with it. I didn't even think about it. I don't see it as different to any other bodily function, like if she asked where wee comes out or something, lol. She knows that I had a c/s with her and a VB with her sister. How they get in there is another matter, LOL.

[Cherished]

I have no experience in this but I know that I would just be honest. There's no shame in children knowing the anatomy of the human body and how humans are made/born.

[Indadhanu]

I just told my 4yo the truth. She knows she was born by c/s - we have photos and she has always been fascinated by them. So I told her that sometimes babies are born with a cesarean, when the doctor cuts your tummy and helps the baby come out the cut, but that it is easier to push the baby out of your vagina and that's how most babies are born. She always asked how her little sister was going to come out and I told her I wasn't sure but hopefully I would push her out myself because it hurts less that way. We approached it as very matter-of-fact, no shame, no embarrassment, and she listened and accepted that vaginas are for birthing babies just like if I told her ears are for listening and noses are for smelling.

But, like Liz, we also had the added bonus of her informing everyone about how babies are born, and her daycare tried to take issue with it and asked me to tell her not to tell the other children how babies are born because some parents were uncomfortable with their children knowing this information. Of course, asking her to do that would have been pointless since if I was to tell her not to talk about it she would have just talked about it more, so I just told them I wouldn't be doing that and I don't want them to say anything like that to her either, and they dealt with it.

How babies get IN is another story, and thankfully a question that hasn't been asked yet, although we do have the book 'Where did I really come from" which I'll use when the time comes. Maybe. Luckily for us though the answer is fairly non-confronting, the dr's help put the baby in there... Or I'll just say the fairies put babies in there. One of the two.

[gypsy79]

I have had the exact same questions from my DS. My sister recently had a caesarean, and when DS asked how her babies (she had twins) came out, I said the dr cut a whole in her tummy to take them out. 'Phew,' I thought, thinking I'd got out of that one easily. But, I am also pregnant. A few weeks later, he asked if he could see the hole in my tummy after our baby is born. 'Damn,' I think, 'Now I'm going to have to explain!' So, I said that babies usually come out of their mummy's bottom and that's probably how our baby will come out. DH is horrified that I used that term, but my kids don't know the word vagina or anything else resembling it. They know that boys have doodles and girls don't - they haven't asked what girls have instead, so I just refer to anything down there as 'bottom'.

As for how the baby gets in there, mummies and daddies make the baby (he hasn't asked how!). But you're pretty much always in mummy's tummy until you're born - this came from him asking where he was when looking at photos of our wedding. I said he wasn't born yet. 'So where was I?' I ended up saying that he was still in my tummy, but so small that I didn't even know he was there!

[3_Girls]

Another who just told the truth. DD1 is now 5 and knows where she came from. We were a little more subtle with how she got in there in the first place though!

[Chrispe]

My DS1 bought a kids anatomy book from Kmart and it has a small section on pregnancy in it, with a side on picture of how baby delivered. So when I was pregnant with DS3 we looked it up in the book together.
From gestation size (I would get asked every couple of days how big baby was)
To how does baby come out. I found it easier having a kids book to show and refer to.

[Sagres]

Interestingly, none have asked how they got in there yet! (my eldest is 8)

Hehehe my 3yo asked me the other day - you have got off lightly getting to 8 without being asked
I was caught off guard (we were driving to the swimming pool of all places!) so I just said 'well I grew you there yeah?' and she was happy with that. Next time I will think a bit quicker and come up with something more accurate!

At the moment she is just interested in her being in there and how that worked, not how she got out so I haven't crossed that bridge, but I think being honest but concise and age appropriate is the way to go.
Funny story, she knows that there was a tube going to her belly button and that is how she got food, but the other day she asks 'where were my teeth to eat the food?' while gesturing to her mid section. Oh the mental picture she must have had!

[Cricket]

We got the "Hello Baby" book, which happens to be about a homebirth, and it shows a family getting ready for birth, and the mother labouring, and the baby being born. It's a side view, so not graphic at all, but still obvious where that baby is coming out! I found it a really great non-scary, easy to understand way to explain birth to my kids. They were between 2 and 8 when we read it. (My youngest boy wasn't interested, ) The older kids were a little shocked, but took it pretty well. The younger ones weren't phased at all. So that's where the baby comes out? Nice. Next picture please!
I'd highly recommend that book for anyone trying to explain birth to their kids, whether you're having a homebirth or not.

[RhiChiChi]

We got the "Hello Baby" book, which happens to be about a homebirth, and it shows a family getting ready for birth, and the mother labouring, and the baby being born. It's a side view, so not graphic at all, but still obvious where that baby is coming out! I found it a really great non-scary, easy to understand way to explain birth to my kids. They were between 2 and 8 when we read it. (My youngest boy wasn't interested, ) The older kids were a little shocked, but took it pretty well. The younger ones weren't phased at all. So that's where the baby comes out? Nice. Next picture please!
I'd highly recommend that book for anyone trying to explain birth to their kids, whether you're having a homebirth or not.

Thanks for sharing the book name and your thoughts on it.

We too were fairly honest with telling DD (5) about babies in most circumstances being born vaginally, however sometimes they need to come out of the tummy. She knows both her & her sister were born via c-sect (didn't use that term).

She often pretends she is pregnant and 'births' her babies from below. It is really cute. She does lie down though to 'give birth', which I don't know why as the births I have shown on u-tube are usually water births or standing up/kneeling and she never saw me in labour with DD2. Funny to watch DD though!