We are the same as Junglemum and Kim.

I have always had a draw available at child height full of the foods for DD and from about 18months she began accessing it herself. DD2 at 10months is getting very interested in it. Our fridge is upside down (or right way up in my mind ) so the children can't really reach a shelf until about 2.5-3. Now that DD can reach it, some food and drink is available for her there.

Even though my children can access their own food if they want it, so far I have found they don't tend to go for helping themselves unless it is a meal time anyway and I am happy for them to have input into what they eat. Maybe it is partly a personality thing, I can imagine I would be a bit more strict about food access if DD was pushing boundaries and helping herself to food at all times or not regulating her intake appropriately. As it stands she is doing well on her own and has always really enjoyed the feelings of independence it has fostered. As for asking, DD tends to ask anyway as she helps herself "mum, can I have some of these?". Often I need to open something so I imagine that would help keep excess grazing in check. It usually starts a dialogue about whether it is an appropriate eating time anyway.

I do believe in encouraging independence and allowing children to have control over decisions in their lives. That said, I do have a very easy going child. I was the same as a child but my older brother brother was the complete opposite (the word ADHD comes to mind!) If I had a child like him, I don't know that I would be so easy to let him just go as I can with my DD. I guess it so depends on your children