Funny things kids say & do

I'm a teacher so I have heaps that I could put in here :lol:

I teach 4 and 5 year old children and they are very interested/ curious about their own and others' bodies a this stage. One of my mum's told me when her DD was hopping out of the bath, she slipped with legs either side of the bath *ouch*. Anyway, the child proclaimed in a loud voice (understandably) "OUCH MY NUTS!"
Her mum then explained girls don't have "nuts" :lol:.

Many children like playing with the baby dolls (yes i'm nuturing some future mothers!) in our class. Lots of them pretend to breastfeed the baby, and one day I asked the children to pack up their playing for lunch. One little one said to me "I'll be a minute- I'm just breastmilking the baby" :lol: It was gorgeous!

We were walking out of the toilets at a shopping centre the other day and we passed a lady wawlking in. DD said "excuse me, are you going to do a wee or a poo!" the lady looked at me aghast and I just ushered her out very quickly! At least she said excuse me!

When i was really really young, my parents had put me to bed, and both went to watch TV before they went to bed, but little old me wanders out and sits down, when my parents asked me what was wrong i replied with 'Nothing, i just want to see what you do when we go to bed'

Hehe there are others too im sure but thats my fave!

Ok seeing as I haven't had any for a month Zander gave me two great ones in two days!!

Last Tuesday Zander had asked me to go faster when I was driving. I told him that I'm not allowed to go too fast or we'll get in trouble with the policemen & he'd get very cranky.

Yesterday we went for a get together with mum's group & Aaron was driving. He took off from the lights & was going a normal speed but the car revved loudly. And this was after only one conversation about speeding!! Aaron thinks I set him up hehe!

Z: No daddy, too fast. Get in trouble with pease car. Pease car get cranky.
A: Pardon?
Z: Pease car get cranky, go too fast daddy.
Me: That's right daddy's going too fast & the police man will get cranky with him.
Z: (with an exasperated tone) Oh man, daddy get in trouble.


Then this morning when we were going in for our embryo transfer we were talking about babies. Two close friends are pregnant so he knows that they have babies in their tummies. Aaron said that we were go to see the nurse to put a baby in mummy's tummy. He said no, to which we responded why not? He said matter of factly (is that a word LOL) "baby go in bed". So there ya have, babies belong in beds not tummies hehe!

The other day, Elyse decided to play "midwife" - it was so cute! The midwife had just done her home visit about a week or so ago, and Elyse was there for most of it. I just didn't realize how much she was catching! She put her hands all over my tummy, to feel where the baby was, and guessed at where the bum was, and asked if baby was moving a lot, and if I had to pee a lot (!?!), and how I was feeling. Then she pretended to listen to the heartbeat, and made "whooshing" noises. I had quite a time trying to be a serious and calm patient. ;)

Also, a couple of days ago, we were visiting MIL, and Elyse was playing with a huge doll, all dressed up as a bride. They were having a wedding. (my brother just got married, so weddings are a big thing right now.) But we had to go home, and she cried and cried that she couldn't take the dolly with. "But Mum, we just got MARRIED!" :cryinglaugh:
Where on earth she got that from I don't know, but we sure laughed about it.

We are trying to TT Glenn. DH took him to the toilet about 15 mintues ago. But he was up in his room with Isla. I could hear Isla whinning a bit so I got up to check what was going on because Glenn can be a bit ruff with her.
Anyway as I come up the hallway I notice Isla pick something up & put it to her mouth. Glenn was saying No iila & looking at me with a "OH NO" look on his face.
It was (get ready for it).... POO! Glenn had just PJ pants on, no undies & had done a poo which then fell out of his pants leg. Of course Isla being your typical 10month old picked it up & straight to her mouth!
I almost wet myself laughing while I cleaned her up.
Poor thing, maybe she will think twice before putting things in her mouth now!

But that is a story that will be written into her baby book for all to hear about at her 21st!

I just had to share this...

My sister and her DS, Jaiycob, 2.5yrs popped in for a visit this afternoon and my sister and i went to the kitchen to make coffee's and serve up some cake, so were only away from the children for 10mins max, we went back in and Jaiycob was saying to me "Aunty me cant find it" i asked him what was it that he couldn't find and he just kept saying "cant find it" then sat down and had some cake and played with his cars, we just thought he lost a car. After they left Ethan was just waking for a feed and i could smell that he had done a poo so went to change his nappy and boy did i get a shock when i took his pants off and there was no nappy and he had poo all over him so after he was bathed i rang my sister and told her and she said to her DS "did you take Ethans nappy off?" He said "Yes" and she laughed and said "well where's his new nappy" and he said "Me cant find it"!!!! LOL now we know what he was looking for:lol: I will definatley make sure his nappy is kept on next time they visit LOL but it was sooo cute!

Oh thats funny!!

I will take this as a learning curb for the future, thanks:lol:

PMSL, what a great story. I'm so glad you can laugh about it!

OMG, that's hillarious!

oh that is so gorgeous!

Today we were driving along when from in the backseat Noah ask's us
"How do cow's have babies ?"
Mark replied by saying "The same way human's do"
That was too hard for Noah, LOL.
So we both said "the same way mummy's do"

Noah get's it and say's "oh, In a pool !!" :cryinglaugh:

We had to laugh and then Mark told him that some mummy's have their babies in a pool and some have them on a bed.

I went that step further to tell them that the baby cow's come out of the mummy cows fanny, just like babies do. Of course then he had to ask where their fannies were, and if they were the pink things underneath of them....

Poor Noah, he has alot to learn.

And yes, he has watched Tehya's birth dvd more than a few times :)

With a cow doula and a cow midwife coaching on the side, and a bull fainting beside her. ;)
c'mon now Bessy, breathe through it, easy now, just breathe, almost done, OK, good job honey, he's almost here.... :cryinglaugh:

oh my god that is the cutest thing! when I ask Molly how babies come out she goes "out of your fanny, and it hurts ALOT" then she does this imitation of me screeming my head off!!!! How embarassing!!!!!

PMSL :cryinglaugh: how cute though!! I love how they think it's all EXACTLY the same. My DS # 1 used to think that you had babies when you got married.... he even said he was there when his stepmum got pg....lol.

Elyse has a thing with spinning lately, to the point of falling down. So she has been warned several times to be careful when she spins, and not to do it too long. The other day she was looking a little tipsy coming down the stairs, and her father met her on the way up. She said "Careful up there Dad, it's dizzy! The house is going round and round."
Funny how what a child experiences, they assume everyone else can see/feel too. :) DH and I had a pretty good laugh later about that.

After DD#1 when she was about 2.5 was spinning in the computer chair. she stopped and said, "Mommy, the house is tipping!"

LOL Glenn has taken to hiding if he thinks he is doing something he knows he shouldn't be. Just now he picked up the curtine rod & I have already told the boys to leave them alone. I just happen to be getting up from here & he seen me dropped it on the ground & ran the other direction, I went after him (just playing) and he grabbed the curtin from the floor & buried his face in it. LOL another case of "I can't see you so you can't see me" LOL so cute

A funny one from Saturday afternoon....

We were getting some groceries for our picnic & I bought some jelly babies. This was the conversation we had when I gave him one....

Z: Baby have baby lolly?
Me: Nooo, babies don't have any teeth, they can't eat lollies.
Z: No teeth?
Me: That's right, no teeth. What do you think the baby can eat?
Z: Chippies?
Me: No babies can't eat chippies. Babies have a drink for food, what sort of drink do you think?
Z: Water?
Me: No, something else
Z: (thinks for a bit) MILK!
Me: Yes, babies have milk for a drink. Do you know where the milk comes from?
Z: In a cup
Me: Nope, somewhere else, like you used to have before bed.
Z: (thinking) cup?
Me: No, in a bottle.
Z: Oooooh bottle.
Me: Or babies can get their milk from mummy's boobies.
Z: NO WAY!

Me thinks he's going to be in for a bit of a shock!

I have a couple of cute ones from Liebling.

We were out walking with him in the carrier and he was babbling away. He stopped "talking" when he saw an elderly couple on the other side of the road, then decided to shout in a harsh little voice "DIE!". So glad we were nearly at playgroup so I could fall about laughing!

He also said his first sentence Saturday night. He stood up in the bath, looked at me and announced "A-ah-I've a cute bum." I love baby babble sounding like real words! Long may his confidence last.

I have two funnies from this evening.

Aaron has just gotten contact lenses a few days ago, where he normally wears glasses fulltime. Tonight Zander saw him took them out & he comes running out to me in the loungeroom.... "Mummy daddy take eyes out, not take Zander's eyes out." He was in a panic with his hands over his eyes thinking his eyes were going to be taken out!

Then just before bed he was waving his magic wand round going "pocus pocus" and touching things with it! LOL, very cute.

Bless Zander, that's so cute with the eyes!

Liebling loves to tell me things in the bath. The other night it was "I ga good egg, Dad ga good egg." About 3 times clearly, more just trying to get it out.

There you go, obviously my chaps are the right sort! But is Mum a good egg or a bad egg? DS wasn't letting on.

Last night at dinner Aaron was trying to be funny... He asked Zander 'Who's more fun, mummy or daddy?" Without a moment's hesitation he responded, "ZANDER!" Hehehe too cute.

James and I were lying in bed this morning after he came in to have our pre-get-out-of-bed cuddles. We were looking through that little Johnson & Johnson pregnancy/diary type book and we were looking at the developmental stages, week by week and the diagram of where the baby lies in the mother's body.

We got up to the 30-34 weeks page and he saw the pic of the baby at the top of the page and asked what the umbilical cord was. He went quiet as he pointed to the diagram of the mother's body and said, "mummy, the baby is going to come out of your bottom". I said, "um, yes" - trying not to laugh. He pulled a "yuk" face and then closed the book.

Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Tonight I was cooking dinner (Tacos). The mince was on the sideboard and DSD(4) went to eat some. I said "Don't eat that, It isn't cooked, you will get worms" She stared that the mince, then said "Where are the worms?" Well what could I say.

I then went to put the mince into the pan, she asked "Is that an animal?" followed quickly by "IS IT A DOG?" I couldn't help laughing. I told her "No we don't eat dogs."

Then while we were eating dinner. She held up some cheese asking "Does this have worms in it?"
Oh No What have I started!!??!!

DH, DD and myself were al over at my mums having a Sunday lunch, putting up the Xmas tree when my brothers DD who is 5 asked her nana about death suddenly. She said 'what happens when you die' and my mum/her nana goes 'well some people get buried and others get cremated'.
My neice looks at me in horror and goes 'I'm not mean I wil not cook nana....'

Obviously she's had this chat before lol.

When i was going through the MS stage my son would tell people he felt sick. When they ask were and what kind of sick he'd respond "i sick in my belly its baby".

He was telling people this before i had even spread the good news. In the end i had to tell his preschool as they couldnt understand why he was thinking his sickness was a baby. hehe

Today Lily had our car's spare key and DH said if you lose it you're in trouble. She said ok and started playing with it etc.

About 5 minutes later she comes up to me and says 'keys gone'. I said 'well you better find them or you will be in trouble' (not angry but just so she knows that its not ok to loose things) And she said to me in a very cranky voice 'no you in trouble' then pointed her finger and she said 'go to bed!' lmao!

I couldn't help but laugh it was so funny. For the next few minutes she continued to tell me to go to bed lol. But at this point she was laughing too and thought it was funny.

Geez no wonder she thinks everything is a game we can never be mad at her because she always finds some way to make us laugh about it!

Aww how cute and how funny,lol.

Tonight I put this mat downstairs that we have in front of the TV where Laila plays (cause we have tiles). I have had her bedroom mat down their cause we have been looking for a large mat to match our couches..anyway when I put it down laila started giggling and crawling around it in a circle for a good 10 mins before i picked her up.. weird!

Gaby had a playdate this arvo and I was outside with the other mum chatting and watching the 4 noisy monsters:p. Anyway I removed a chair out of the way as the kids were using it to climb on top of the cubbyhouse - Gaby was so unimpressed with this and proceeded to say at the same time as pointing her finger " Thats not very nice mummy, now go and stand in the corner and dont talk. I mean it mummy, dont talk to anyone." :cryinglaugh::cryinglaugh::cryinglaugh: PML- I wonder where she got this from???

When I drive James to school in the mornings we either pretend we're a plane or a taxi. I'm usually playing pilot or taxi driver but this morning was looking in the street directory before we left home and James decided it was plane day.

I usually do the safety demonstration, including location of life raft, life jackets, seatbelts and oxygen masks. When I talk about the oxygen mask I usually say it drops down, put it on and breathe, DON'T SCREAM into it.

Today James did the safety demo and when he got to the oxygen mask he said, it will drop down and you put it on and breathe into it, it's NOT a party hat. That cracked me up.

A couple of years ago he couldn't say "delicious", everything was "malicious".

Too cute, we were just watching Thomas & it was a scary one apparently. Thomas was driving through the haunted forest & he got snow or something (I wasn't really watching) all over him so he looked white & the other trains were saying he was a ghost. Zander sat with his hands either over his eyes or on his cheeks, wide eyed, ready to cover his eyes. At the end the Fat Controller said it wasn't a ghost train it was Thomas, Zander cracked up saying "Thomas not scary, Thomas not a ghost". Hehe!

I was doing some grocery shopping the other day, and there was a couple with their young son (3-4yrs?). They where obviously shopping for a childrens party. The little boy picks up a BIG bag of grapes and piles them on the allready laden trolley. "No honey, we don't want those." says mum.
"but I like grapes!" says little one.
"We need to get things that every one likes."
"oh..." little one lookes at the trolley, "but mum! We don't like cat food!!!"

Oh I couldn't help my self! LOL!
Kids logic!!

James was watching the movie The Mummy with Brendan Fraser in it on the weekend and there was a scene where the mummy spoke in Egyptian. He calls out to me, "mummy, do you know what language the mummies speak?" I said, "no, what language do the mummies speak?", he says, "they speak Serbian." I laughed and asked what made him say that and he said because it sounds like the language two girls in his class speak, and they're Serbian....

We were having our Boxing Day at my sister's house today & we were all sitting around her loungeroom. Zander was sitting between my dad & I and he came out with this pearler

"Da, you got a baby in your tummy too?"

Poor Da!! He has decided he might need to start going back to the gym :cryinglaugh:

I have some dutch friends who had a similar one to SaraH.

Toddler was asked "What has mummy got in her tummy?"
"baby!" was the answer
"What has daddy got in his tummy?"
"Speck!!" (speck is dutch bacon, or bacon fat!)

LOL

Today we went to the shops, DH found those cups that have a second layer to them & liquid in the middle. KWIM? Well these are clear cups with orange liquid in them. DH was mucking around with them & tricked both boys several times with pretending to spill it onto them. That in itself was funny watching the boys duck each time even after DH showed them it was actually empty. But then Glenn took the cup & actually tried to drink from the cup & got rather upset when nothing would come out. Its was so funny. I was laughing so much. We ended up buying the cups, 1 each for the boys. Glenn still doesn't quite get it & its ever so funny watching him with it. Just now he was trying to empty it out in the sink!

Lots of laughs, you should all go out & buy one!

When I was about four, I got lost at the beach and some stranger took me to the Lost Children's Caravan. While I was in there, a very nice lady started reading me Peter Pan and somehow by the end of the story I had decided my name was Wendy. My name isn't Wendy, it's Fiona. So when mum & dad came to collect me they had a hell of a time convincing the lady that they were my parents because they'd come in asking for Fiona and pointed at me to which the lady told them "no, no, no, she's not your little girl ... her name's Wendy." And I was just standing there dumbstruck because I didn't want to tell the nice storytelling lady I'd lied to her but mummy was getting VERY angry with me.

Awwww so cute Wendy ;) Great thread!

I was about 6 and decided that I needed to make a bit of cash - for what I have NO idea, so I gathered up all my toys and books and put them on a blanket and took them down the street where our street met a main road, set up a sign saying TOY SALE and waited! I must have been there for about an hour (why my mum didnt miss me either I dont know - :P) and finally made a sale - a book for 20c. I packed up all my stuff soooo excited and ran home to tell mum Id made 20c on the corner street! Needless to say she was not happy and of course my sister had to bring the story up at my 21st! Nice one.

When I was about two or three I apparently managed to wander away from Mum in the supermarket, and calmly went to the service desk, and told them that they had to page my mum because she was lost. I wasn't precocious at all... really I wasn't.