Help, at wits end...

[mummame]

My just turned 5 year old boy has been caught numerous times now either pulling girls dresses up, or pulling their pants down. I am at my wits end! The first time it happened we didn't make a big deal of it, just explained that it wasn't a good thing to do etc, the second time I again pulled him aside and explained why he shouldn't do it, but since then he has again encouraged a friend to take her knickers off, pulled down a 7 year old friends bathers and a pulled up my friends 10 year old daughters dress. Tonight I lost it at him, I had already spoken to him today about how it was not on and that next time I would be really angry. The best thing is he won't even take his shirt off unless we go in the bedroom and lock the door...he is that private. I don't know what else to do. I even threatened tonight that if he does it again I will pull his pants down and make him stand in front of the girls he had done it too. I know it sounds horrible and I don't like the thought of humiliating him, but what else can I do? I also told him tonight, that he is no longer allowed to play with the girls without mum or dad there. any advice please!!!!

[Catastrophic]

He's being a normal curious boy... Maybe teaching him about the difference between males and females anatomy (there are some awesome child books around) and talking him through his feelings.

I dare say humiliating him will do far more harm then good.

I understand your frustration I really do, my step son did this - but as with everything this too shall pass with the right lesson ;-)

[mummame]

Thanks for replying, he does know about the differences, he has an older sister, they still bath together but he has never done this to her only other girls, I have also explained the reason why doing what he is doing is not right, we have discussed why he doesn't like it etc I know it's normal sexual development for any child and I am not that worried, but I now have other parents ringing me up to tell me he has got their child to take their knickers off. I just worry that people aren't going to want him around their children...

[AnyDream]

Ok, so the specific issue here isn't nakedness, it's the right of people to be in charge of their own bodies. I think you need to explain how other people might feel if their clothes are taken away/and their personal space is invaded, and relate it to his own sense of privacy and body space and control of his body and clothing. Make it part of a longer conversation (ie across lots of different situations and at different times) about respect and being kind to other people.