I'm a little annoyed... Advice needed

[Mum2Romone]

I took DS to a friends to play today and they were pretty well behaved, considering they are two and boy/ girl.

DS was playing with miss t and they were playing with fake food... DS took the food off miss t so she went feral and starts rolling around the ground, DS does this too, ( it's not her behavior I'm whinging about)

friend came in the room the same time as me and said, something along the lines of DS stop that.... If you don't smack him next time I will.... It took me a second to realize what he said, and obviously my look said it all, because he said, sorry but they can't just hit each other all the time.... I said, they weren't hitting, just not sharing well.... I don't think smacking them is going to make them stop it, they are only two.....

And he's like, well I'm not putting up with it.... So I said, lighten up, your such a grump today, you need some sleep that's all ( he was complaining about getting no sleep....) so I'm thinking he just overracted.... He's a good friend and I don't think he ever actually smack DS anyway but he clearly expects me too, which I won't although I do discipline him and tell him what he did wrong....

I guess I'm asking

do you think I am doing the right thing? Or do you think a little smack is somewhat good for discipline in a two year old?

Obviously my friend and I have different ideas about parenting and I don't want it to affect our friendship or the kids, because they do have fun together

I'm not mad at my friend, he was tired and I know what that's like

[ss_storm]

I don't think you need to smack at all, at any age. They are only 2, it's only natural that they are going to have little battles over sharing toys. Playing nicely is not built into them, it has to be learned! I think that was a bit of an OTT reaction, and if someone else smacked my child, well they wouldn't be a friend to me anymore..

[Early Kids]

I don't think smacking is appropriate for any age, but even more so at two. They are just kids and in the scenario you described did nothing wrong either!

Good on you for sticking to your guns too.

[Ca Plane Pour Moi]

Your friend said this. "Don't hit. If your mother does not hit you then I will. This will show you that hitting is wrong."

Wow, that makes sense.

TBH, I usually get down with DS and tell him to give the toy back and he can have it when the other child is finished. Or if the other child has had the toy ages, ask if the child wants to share. The child can give DS the toy. Happy children all around, and lesson learnt. Or they can just throw a tanty - they have to learn the world doesn't revolve around tantrums! Usually when I suggest sharing the children are open to it, it just doesn't come naturally.

[Early Kids]

TBH, I usually get down with DS and tell him to give the toy back and he can have it when the other child is finished. Or if the other child has had the toy ages, ask if the child wants to share. The child can give DS the toy. Happy children all around, and lesson learnt. Or they can just throw a tanty - they have to learn the world doesn't revolve around tantrums! Usually when I suggest sharing the children are open to it, it just doesn't come naturally.

That's exactly what I do

[maz]

Me personally, Id be ****ed to say the least if ANY of my friends or family said something like that to my children FULL STOP!
They maybe a parent but they are not YOUR child's parent. I would never lay a finger on anyones' children EVER let alone treaten them. Its as bad as people saying taht they'll get you to smack their child is their naughty YES Ive had people do that to me and make me the bad guy.
I barely smack my children...the moemnt has to be really pushed and my bloody pressure through the roof. I try to walk out of the room but sometimes a firmer voice is so much more effective then to use physical punishment.

I still cant believe your friend said this, tired or not...maybe he need's a good smack

[Mum2Romone]

Maz, he was one of five boys and thinks that he wasn't affected by a smack, and that is obviously the way he intends to parent although I don't really think he has put much thought into it.... He is a SAHD and he must think it's working for him to keep doing it, I was shocked but then I thought, my husband would probably say that too, out of frustration, if he felt his child was always on the receiving end of a fight... But she certainly is rough with DS, he never even pushed before they were buddies and tbh it's all a part of learning , to socialize isn't it?

I'm sure it was just a rough day,

[beckoes]

i dont think its right for him to say that he would smack your ds, and i dont think smacking a child will teach the child not to smack other children....itms!