We have galvanised fencing seperating us, from the people who live behind us (all other fencing is 6ft wood pailings. These neighbours have 4 girls. They are big meanies.
DD (3) loves them, as soon as she realises that they're there, she'll race out the back to try and play with them.
One day I was watching her, she stole some cooking chocolate out of the fridge (hehehe) and took it to the fence to share with them. One of the older ones took her chocolate, went and sat on the trampoline, ate her chocolate, then returned the packet 10 minutes later Next time we went shopping, I put some cooking chocolate in the trolley, and she told my mum, "grandma, this is MY chocolate, and I'm NOT sharing with you!" She obviously remembered what the girl had done..
Yesterday she saw them all playing, she raced out the back. They quickly went up into their cubby house and sat there glaring at her. I felt so sad for her. They then proceeded to get lawn clippings and throw them at her .... Seriously... my heart broke.. She is so little, she didn't even understand that they were being mean.
DH was straight into her when he found out, "next time they throw anything at you, pick up a rock and throw it at them" haha. Such great parenting there hubby! She didn't understand why she would throw a rock (thank god), but deep down... I would love for her to just slog them one right in the nose.
We're thinking about building a big F off fence. 6ft fence pailings again, but double, so there is no gap, so she can't see them, and they can't see her. Is this the right thing to do?? I'm so worried about her beautiful little spirit, she is SO SO friendly, happy, outgoing - I don't want her to recluse..
The girls parents are total tossers too btw. The daughters obviously get their incredible social skills from them. When DH mows the lawn, EVERY time, the guy pulls out his motorbikes and sits there reving the engines glaring at us... Such weird people... But thats another story...
Thankfully, little kids don't understand when other kids are being mean so it doesn't bother them like it bothers us. I don't think you need to build a giant fence just yet. If the neighbours were going out of their way to bully your DD then I would be more concerned, but it sounds like it is only really when your DD goes to them. ATM your DD is seeking them out, but eventually she will work out for herself that they are nasty and stop wanting to play with them. My DS1 (nearly 4) has just started telling me which kids at daycare are nasty kids that he doesn't want to play with.
This won't be the only time in your life that your DD wants to be friends with someone you don't like. Sometimes you just need to be as supportive as you can and trust that she will choose the right friends in the end. Luckily at this age she is unlikely to be corrupted too badly.
Thank you for your reply Berrme x
We have a playcentre/swingset (like the ones from bunnings) near the back fence, and they also have something similar along their backfence, so unfortunetely whenever DD goes outside to play, they're also there.. I just wish she could go and play by herself without getting distracted by them. There really isn't anywhere else to put the playcentre either, its the only nice shady area in the yard.. Sorry just thinking outloud now. They sit there harping instructions for her, and she does it, beacause she wants to be their little friend.
"Go and get me your mermaid tail"
"Go ask your mum for some cheese"
"Whats your mum got in that cup"
"Throw over your buckets and shovels"
If I'm not within ears distance, and she passes the things over (I don't let her share with them), they then run off with it! One day it was her dolly and pram. DH had to jump the fence and grab it later on.
Sorry for the long reply.. This is turning into a bit of a vent aswell
I'm just so cranky at the situation
I think you should move to tassie and be my next door neighbour
Your poor DD, she's so gorgeous. DS has started realising when people aren't very nice and he doesn't want to play with them, so they do eventually work it out themselves, and then move on to someone they do like
I think you need to step in more. Next time DD runs out with a toy to hurl over the fence, go out there with her and tell the mean girls that they must return them at the end of the day. Even knowing you are watching might curb their nastiness. If course do it very nicely to set an example for DD.
If they ask her for food, go tell them to ask their mother...nicely.
Or just pop your head over and tell them not to ask DD for her toys anymore, and to be nicer because she is little.
It does suck a fair bit, you just have to keep a close eye on the little buggers.
Kids are so horrible sometimes!
Have you ever sprung them? Like if they're being nasty have you ever just said something like "you're not being nasty, are you? She is alot younger than you" (a bit of a death stare wouldn't go astray here! Hehe) I find when older kids are sprung they tend to get a little scared of what will happen if they continue.. You might tell their mum or, heck, beat them up for all they know! So that has always worked for us. If they think they can get away with it they'll do it... But if they know you are aware of it they might just stop (fingers crossed!).
Poor, sweet bubba... I'd build the fence!
Hope you sort something out soon xxxx
Mean girls
Next time we went shopping, I put some cooking chocolate in the trolley, and she told my mum, "grandma, this is MY chocolate, and I'm NOT sharing with you!"
.... Seriously... my heart broke.. She is so little, she didn't even understand that they were being mean.
haha. Such great parenting there hubby! She didn't understand why she would throw a rock (thank god), but deep down... I would love for her to just slog them one right in the nose.
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