She's talking about how she was parented. I think that's allowed. Not you or me or anyone else. Her experiences. I think that's ok.
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She's talking about how she was parented. I think that's allowed. Not you or me or anyone else. Her experiences. I think that's ok.
Id much rather logical, calm talking back, than a hysterical tantruming child!
Hubby grew up in a culture that is very much do just what u r told. They start teaching it as babys. Now people are rebelling and not controlling their child at all. In a multi child family that just doesn't work and in a single child family that creates monsters. (when I say control I mean they don't seem to have ANY rules).
there are times when you need your child to do what they are told with out reasoning and other times its ok to debate things.
I think the power to be able to debate something is important. I was never taught that by my control freak mother so as an adult its taking me an eon to learn when and where I can/should debate and when to leave it.
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unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. its not.
Dr Seuss
Me too! And I've actually found this way has stopped a lot of tantrums. The tantrums that are because of frustration and not being listened to anyway.:
Now I am noticing it all the time after starting this thread, lol. Today when I asked her to do something she said to me 'Mummy, I'm not going to do that unless you say please DD1' LOL. Fair point I think.
And I may be strange but my goal actually isn't obedient children. Probably sounds odd but I don't actually want them to just do as I say. Sometimes I think FFS I wish they would just listen to me and do it!! But overall, that's not what I want really. I want to teach and guide them to make their own decisions based on their own morals and be intrinsically motivated to do the right thing. As opposed to doing things because that's what I want (or what they might be punished or rewarded for). So for me, one of the ways I'm personally trying to do that is by welcoming respectful discussion/debate/disagreement or anything they have to say really. It's definitely not for everyone but I'm just pleased that so far it seems to be working out for us :)
And you know what. Nine times out of ten they are imitating our parenting. So hypothetically if we don't like the way it sounds when it's said to us, then maybe then need to change the way we say things too ;)
Oh yes! The number of times I have heard something from DD1 that is straight from my mouth, lol. And sometimes it's just what I need to hear.
Absolutely!! Same here!!:
Maruschke - I think you may have misinterpreted my piost and somehow taken unnecessary defence at it? It was not aimed at you or anyone. Just my thoughts based on my experiences actually :) "I think it's wrong" yes thats my opinion just like you have yours. If you don't agree then that's cool with me. Everyone parents differently, well that's pretty obvious.