How do you teach/educate/share the concept of respect for others, personal belongings, others belongings, for self, etc, to your children?
(Sorry but not the I show them respect and ask for the same back standard response, apparently that doesn't work here)
My children are 6yrs, 4yrs, and 2yrs (almost 2, but she swears she's 2 already)
I've done the talking, leading by example, taking belongings away and playtime with others, time outs, etc.
I don't think I'm communicating the idea with them that any of them understand, and I'm beyond ready to find the key to this problem.
I'm trying to teach DD about this too, she's 2.5. She doesn't really understand the word respect, and the meaning, so I just keep it general.
When she chewed on the handle of the beautiful wooden toy a friend gave her and didn't stop after I asked her three times, I took it away. I told her that T had given these to her as a gift, and they're very special so if she can't look after them they'll be put away until she can. When she won't stop stabbing the table with her fork while waiting for dinner, I take away the fork and tell her that this is Mummy and Daddys table and it means a lot to us not to have those marks in it.
Those things she seems to get, she can see the marks she's made and seems to know she shouldn't do it. Tougher is getting her to respect us by doing as we ask (for reasonable requests) rather than running away to keep doing it. She's a very active kid and gets dirty hands outdoors, and she seems obsessed with sticking her filthy fingers up her nose and in her mouth. I'm certain her most recent illness was because of it. Anyway we are constantly asking her to take her hands out of her mouth, but she turns away or leaves the room to do it even more. We're talking to her about why Mummy and Daddy ask her to do/not do things, and when we ask her not to do it because it will make her sick, she needs to please listen to us and do as we ask. It's slowly working.
Thanks Teeki, we've always done similar, and normally it works but at the moment they have thrown that to the wind I suppose. I currently have yesterday's presents packed up thanks to their behaviour, let's just say respecting ones toys (and toys that they have begged for for the last year, and ones that Santa brought) doesn't exist. Respect for me and dh has gone out the window too. Probably not the best combination at the moment either.
Bugger I think when it's their own stuff they're ruining it's harder, if it's someone elses you can say how would you like it if they did that to your things. DD definitely gets things taken away if she can't treat them properly. I'd have done the same as you, with a little talk about how people had given her those gifts because they love her and want her to enjoy them, not break them. If she doesn't want to play with them properly they can go to someone who will (charity etc), because it's not nice for the giver to do something nice for her and have her break it.
Respect..
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I think when it's their own stuff they're ruining it's harder, if it's someone elses you can say how would you like it if they did that to your things. DD definitely gets things taken away if she can't treat them properly. I'd have done the same as you, with a little talk about how people had given her those gifts because they love her and want her to enjoy them, not break them. If she doesn't want to play with them properly they can go to someone who will (charity etc), because it's not nice for the giver to do something nice for her and have her break it.
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