New bedtime routine

[sconeonamission]

DS is 2.5, and is very busy.
Regardless of whether he has a day nap or not, he can be awake right up til 10pm, then up again early!

Tonight we started a new routine, bedtime at 7, 2 stories, a kiss good night, turn out the light and leave the room. I'm in the next room with the light on (at the computer, on BB!). He's normally forever getting up and getting put back to bed,

Tonight, he stood at his doorway, said to his teddy PJ "Squeeze! Now, come on!" and marched down the hallway (cute, but) I put him back to bed, but it's now an hour later an all he's doing is chatting to PJ and kicking at the walls. He seems content, but I'm about to turn the light off and go down to the lounge room.

How long does it take for kids to get into a routine? How long do you think it'll take before he cracks it and follows me down the hall way?

I start uni in 2 weeks, and really need a routine happening in the house. I need ideas/ advice/help to get him to accept bedtime and stay in bed (and be asleep by now!) Not only for when I'm at uni, but dh and I need some adult time (not adult adult time, but that'd be nice too!)

any ideas?

[~*Niadalla*~]

When we started putting DS to bed at a set time, it only took a couple of nights before he got used to it.
When he went into his single bed at around 19 months.... he would continually get up, and did so for a few weeks.
We put a baby gate on the door, and he's had no problem ever since. He happily sleeps all night once he goes to bed at 7.30.

Hope your little man sleeps well for you and adapts to his new routine super quickly!

[onthefly]

I don't know, sorry.... but he sounds seriously cute!

Could you try staying with him for a bit, to help him settle down, then gradually cut that time shorter and shorter....?

[sconeonamission]

Ok, not even 5mins after I walked out of my office, he walked down the hall crying, granted I had walked in their to trying to find my glasses. He was sitting up, told him to lie down, I walked out and he started to cry then followed. I took him back to his room twice, third time dh got his fold out couch and got him to sit down and watch tv with us. Waste of my freaking time trying this routine. I told him it worked for the first hour and he said well it's not working now. I am so freaking annoyed he's not backing me up. He coulda tool him back but apparently didn't want to listen to him screaming. I see that point but seriously, he's going to to think that if I kick up a fuss I get to stay up and watch tv.

So, do I have to set both in a new routine? I'm so annoyed. I was told by dh to be more "strict" (not the word he used) and he folds immediately grrr

[jackrose]

I told him it worked for the first hour and he said well it's not working now. I am so freaking annoyed he's not backing me up. He coulda tool him back but apparently didn't want to listen to him screaming. I see that point but seriously, he's going to to think that if I kick up a fuss I get to stay up and watch tv.

Oh that is no good, naughty DH!!

Firstly, on the late sleeping issue (I'll get to your naughty DH next!!) Does your DS still nap? Maybe my experience could help?

I have had similar issues with DD (although she was still in a cot when they began.) I would put her down at 7 (always have - and she used to go straight off to sleep) then all of a sudden she started to complain about it, cry and carry on and play and chat to herself until 10pm. I was keeping her in the cot in fear of what I would go through if she could get herself out of bed - exactly as you have described!

I discovered that her later nights were related to her day sleeps (based on the fact that we have always had a 7pm (ish) bedtime routine). I found that if she went for her nap after 12 I would undoubtedly have her up still at 10pm. Also it seemed she was ready to drop her naps in a small way but not entirely. So she may nap 2 days out of every 3.

Since I have been strict about earlier naps things have improved a lot here - and we have made the transition into a big bed without too much drama.

Now, your DH... you poor thing! There is no way you can sort this out if your DH lets your DS get up and watch TV with you

As you would know, at 2.5 he is well and truly cluey enough to know that if he pushes you far enough he will get his own way if he has in the past. You are obviously well aware of it but your DH has to understand that that move he made most likely set back your bedtime routine considerably!! (Although if you remain firm, he may figure out that Dad is the pushover and mum is not to be messed with - when you say something you mean it, so DH is setting himself up for more challenging behaviour later...)

Niadalla's suggestion of the baby gate on the door is a good idea, this is what I had planned if DD challenged us on the getting out of bed front.

If you can keep the rules consistent it should not take too long for a cluey little 2yo to figure it out, DD stopped getting up after 2 nights and 2 day naps. Although all children are different and some will push boundaries more than others so don't get too despondent if your DS takes a little longer.

I hope you can sort things out with DH to make sure you are both on the same page. After all the effort you went through to get DS to sleep calmly and sensitively, it would have been massively frustrating to have it all cancelled like that. Keep it up, it sounds as if you are doing the right thing, remain calm and consistent with him and he should work it out.

[Mummato2]

Oh we went through this fun at Christmas time transitioning my son to a toddler bed and moving him into another bedroom.

We managed it by putting a toddler gate on his door, toddler proofing the room, turning off the hallway light and leaving a night light on in his room.

My boy sounds like yours - likes to talk to his toys, happy boy content to play quietly

First couple of nights I went in to "resettle" him and found this created problems. So I left him to play until he'd fall asleep on the floor and pop him in bed.

Within a week he was putting himself to bed once he'd had enough play time.

Sometimes I think the best approach if you've got a kid happy to stay in his room alone without screaming is to allow him to choose when he falls asleep. Stick to your routine and bedtime though - mine waits at the bathroom door at 7pm for someone to run his bath, walks himself to his room with his hoodie towel to get dressed and then happily sits in his daddy's arms being read a story. Then it's kisses and into bed.

As soon as we leave he starts babbling to the toys or some musical toy will sound - we think it's cute and half an hour later is usually met with silence!