Pregnancy after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ November 2010

I reckon the doofus would do it though :lol: I'm so torn, I don't want to be induced at all, but I want to meet this baby now! That's why I'm convincing myself that every twinge is something important :rolleyes: I frustrate myself sometimes *sigh*


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

Better to keep cooking Cookie for a wee bit longer hun, you'll meet bubbie soon enough! Try and rest and relax as much as possible before bub comes, believe me, you'll need all the energy for the birth and when bubbie is here! lol.

Hi girls

Teni I sooo hear you on wanting the bub out! I am so ready! But as Miss B said, our little ones are probably better off baking a little while longer if we can hold out!

Laney, that blood clot doesn't sound good. Hope the thinners do the trick.

Miss B, I can't believe Cam is almost 1!! How fast time has gone! Is your DH still in China?

AFM, nothing much to report. Stitch is still in as my ob wants to take it at 38 weeks like he did last time. Bubs is still not engaged which apparently isn't unusual in subsequent pregnancies but it is a little annoying because my ob won't commit 100% to the stitch removal date and induction in case baby changes position. I have to see him again on the 28th when I will be 38w+1 and he will do an internal and see what is going on in there. Yay, that will be fun! If all is good, he will take the stitch a few days after that in the labour ward. In the meantime I have a fitball I plan to take up position on in a bid to encourage the baby to move into a nice position. It is still head down at this stage so I am trying to stay positive that it will remain that way as I really, really, really want another vaginal birth.
This morning I woke at 4.30am with some pains that were radiating into my back and had to go to the toilet for more than a wee (:redface:) which never happens at that hour of the morning and I had tightenings but they fizzled out after a little bit. Maybe I won't make it to the next appt...wishful thinking I am sure :lol:
I'll keep you posted anyway - Laney, maybe if you see any updates on facebook from me about birth you can let the ladies here know for me if you don't mind?

Take care everyone xx

DH is home safe and sound! Maybe now things will calm down a little bit around here.
I have another doctor appt. on Wed. I had an ultrasound done on my leg and they didn't see a clot. I am going to assume that with my history and a bunch of clot symptoms, I will still have to be on blood thinners for a while.

Jo, I will be stalking you on FB! I will be sure to post as soon as I see any news! I can't believe that it is time already!

Miss.B I cannot believe you are planning a first b-day party already! It sure does go fast! Anymore news on when you are going to be ready to try for another bubba?

Teni, those last couple of weeks are very difficult and long. Make sure you have a few date nights and enjoy your last few sleep ins :)

Dory, Grayson is doing really well, thanks for asking. He really enjoys getting out of the house more and playing with other kids. It is difficult for all of us to get used to such a big change in our routine but I know that it will get easier. It has to!
I missed your post about the blizzard! It just missed us! It is still very cold and we have a little snow but a warm up is on the way!

Dory, I just noticed that you have an angel day coming up. Know that I will be thinking of you.

Teni - I am with Jo and B - it's pretty normal to want to meet Cookie, NOW, especially as the pregnancy discomforts increase and you draw nearer to your EDD. But I understand your feelings, had them myself not that long ago.... I kind of convinced myself that I WOULD enjoy every week of my pregnancy and I got to 40, and then it was time for HB to make her entrance, fashionably early. Keep strong, you can do it.

Laney - thankyou... I love the new photo of Brexton - look at his dark hair! What a cutie! Glad Grayson is going well with his new routine. It must be challenging to get more than one little one out the door. Glad DH got back from the middle east ok.... he's not going back any time soon is he?

We are finally going to inter the ashes for all our bubs on 23rd Feb. Will be a big day. 2 years to the day and time that our lives were so dramatically changed- when we truly knew love and heartache all at once. As you know it feels like only yesterday..... but I am so glad to have emerged from the shadow of the desperate and overwhelming grief. I am a bit worried it will all descend on me again on Wednesday... really it's like having their funerals all over again. But ... it's time.

I just couldn't face the prospect of doing it while I was pregnant with Hannah, as in all honesty I truly didn't believe I would bring her home, and it always seemed that before then I was pregnant or in the pit of despair with grief and didn't have the money either.... it's all a very expensive business really. But, the time is right now.

We've ( well I am making arrangements, DH says he doesn't know what he wants and has always been happy with what I've done before he says), had some balloons printed with an inscription - "beloved babies, Amelia, Nicholas and Sophie - loved eternally - fly free" So we'll be releasing some balloons - all different colours - just like a rainbow. I've also arranged to release some butterflies. I am going to prepare a little booklet, with some special words from DH and I in it, we've done one for each of the funerals, so why not for the interrment? We have some music to play. I have asked a friend to take some photos. It will only be DH, myself and Hannah, but I would like some photos to remember the day. It will be outside, rain, hail or shine. It's pretty hot weather here at the moment.

Jo - I am soooooooooooooooooooo excited for you. I remember asking my obs to take my stitch out at 37 and he resolutely said no 38. Even an extra week can make a difference. Did you have steroids to help bubs lungs develop the surfactant ( in case bubs came early)?

Beata aka Miss B - I am so disorganised when it comes to planning - actually no - the planning is good, I just have trouble with the deciding what I want to do. GL with organising Cam's 1st birthday... I am already thinking vaguely about Hannah's and still have no idea.

Powelly - how are you going? You've gone quiet.....

AFM - well for about 90 mins today I thought I was mad to be wanting to TTC again..... little miss Hannah was just overtired or a bit hot, and she was grizzling and crying. I am ashamed to say I did raise my voice a little after an hour - telling her she was just being silly and it was enough. But then I picked her up and wiped away the tears from her blotchy red face and we had a shower together. Anyway, about 20 mins after the shower, she managed to drop off to sleep after a quick feed ( afterall all that grizzling is tiring. I would prefer her not to have her afternoon nap at 4.30pm but she needed it, and it would be cruel to her and intolerable to me to try to stretch her out to a later time to fit in with our usual routine. Ahh I hear her ... short nap I guess.

I'll be back sometime.

:redface: I suppose I should've explained better... I don't really want to get Cookie out ASAP, it's only an idle fantasy at best. There's no way I'll be agreeing to an induction unless they give me a very good reason ;) I know he/she needs to stay in until we're both ready, I just selfishly want to meet my baby. Not this week though. The "eviction papers" won't be handed over until mid next week, once Ianto's birthday is over and done with.

Some of you might have seen it on FB, but they've stopped asking me about induction (:leap:) and now I just have to have weekly CTGs and fluid checks. It's better than what I was going to suggest if they brought up induction again, so I'm quite happy :D

Dory, if I'm not on over the next couple of days, happy birthday to your Amelia :hug:

Hi Guys - sorry for being MIA :-)

Dory, wow, anniversaries are hard, sometimes harder when you have a baby in your arms as you know the true extent of what you lost. My heart is with you as you remember your gorgeous angel and know you will get through the day as strong as you can be.

Teni - That's really exciting about less induction talk. And I think we all sympathise with why you were saying you wanted your bub out. I felt the same way with my DS. I just wanted him safely in my arms and when I got to 37 weeks I was like "just get him out" but he stayed another two weeks and surprised me at 39 weeks. Try and keep your mind busy, do some relaxation etc and it won't be long before you have your precious bundle.

Laney - glad to hear Grayson is going well! And that the clots seem to be clearing up :-)

As for me, just taking one day at a time. Bub is moving a lot now which is so reassuring and as I'm still not showing at all, it's nice to know there is something in there and that feeling exhausted, emotional and sick is all for a reason :-) I have my 19 week scan coming up in three weeks and feel so nervous about it. It was at that scan we were told we were having a son, and then that he was very ill and I still remember wanting to vomit on the ultrasound bed. I knew this stage would be hard but I'm finding it harder this time around. I guess as I said before, now that I have DS I truly know what I lost first time around. Also had a scare over the weekend with a terrible low pressure pain "down there", It felt like bub's head was literally hanging in the birth canal. I rang the hospital who said that unless there was cramps and bleeding, that hopefully all would be fine. So I turned online and started freaking out that I was having symptoms of incompetent cervix. Didn't sleep a wink that night! Oh the joys...

Emotionally, doing better. I still have my days but the happy/less stressed ones are outweighing the worried/nervous ones. Big hugs to all :-)

Hello lovely ladies,

Sorry i havn't had a chance to get in here. But i would like to tell you all that on the 11th Feb at 10.10pm little Sophie Ann entered our lives by emergency c/s, weighing 4.3kg (9lb 8oz) 55cm long and a 34.7cm HC.
I would like to thank each and everyone of you for helping me through this pregnancy, i don't know how i would have got through without you! :grouphug: Thanks again

A MASSIVE congratulations to you Bec on the birth of your darling girl!!!! Well done, what a good size she was too :clap:

Dory - I hope your day goes well tomorrow. It sounds like you have made some lovely plans for the anniversary and the balloons sound beautiful. I will be thinking of you and your angels tomorrow with much love xxx

Powelly - it is good to hear you are having more good days than bad and hopefully that continues for you, especially after you have a good scan in 3 weeks. Just for some reassurance, I have IC and never had any feelings or signs that my cervix was failing till it was way too late so stay away from google!!

Teni - yay for no more induction talk!

Nothing to report here; my belly button has officially disappeared and I am getting the ligament pain radiating down into my thighs now so its all fun, fun, fun :rolleyes:

Sam Cougar

OMG - my heart just skipped a beat when I saw the notification that you had posted....

OMG I am so excited or you.

Welcome to the world precious Sophie Ann ..... :dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance::dance:: dance:

I hope that Mum and Sophie are doing well.

Very good weight and length. Can't wait to hear more details, when you can manage it and if you want to share.

Hope that you are recovering well from your caesarean.... and hope the emergency part wasn't too stressful for you.

Go gently on yourself as you start this new journey.

Powelly - arghh. stay away from Dr Google.... never a good thing unless you are looking for something specific. I, like Jo aka AngelLuke'sMum - have incompetent cervix, well probably. For me it meant I went into spontaneous premature labour - contractions, a show.... although for me there were other things going on too - infections blah blah blah.

If you're worried, go up to the hossy and get checked out. Good to call them too though like you did, but if that reassurance isn't enough, head on up to the hossy.... no harm to go up.

Good news on a scan coming up though for you, 3 weeks seems like an eternity.

Miss B - is DH back from China yet?

Teni - yay about no more induction...

Jo - are you on bed rest or modified rest with your stitch? If so I wanted to ask how you managed with Kaitlyn? I'll be needing some tips when my time comes again.

Well errands all done.... just have to finalise the little service booklet. The candles look really good. Will post some photos in my album here on BB.

CONGRATS SAMCOUGAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's lovely news that Sophie has arrived safely into your arms. What a big girl! Enjoy the lovely stage of getting to know each other and as Dory said, be gentle on yourself :-)

Angellukesmum and Dory - thank you so much for your advice and sharing your stories. I think all the niggles I'm having is bub moving from my pelvis up and out. I feel sooooo tight in my lower abdomen and as if there's no more room and today I've had sharp stabbing pains on and off so I'm sure that's it. I'll go for a walk later and hope that the movement somehow budges bub up and out of the pelvis. Hmmm, sounds interesting...

Hello my lovely friends!

CONGRATULATIONS Samcougar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so happy for you sweetie, welcome to your beautiful princess Sophie Ann :loveshower:! Enjoy all your beautiful cuddles hun, well done!

Jo, hellooooo my lovely! Look at you hun, you are ready to pop any minute!! Can't wait for your BA, do you think it will be soon??? Hope so!! DF is still in China hun, will have him back in 2 weeks :)

Dory, I will be thinking of you tomorrow, big hugs sweetie :hug: What you have planned is just so beautiful, particularly the butterflies (I love balloons too) so I hope the day brings you much peace and love. Amelia, Nicholas and Sophie will all be smiling down on you from above, and blowing HB so many sweet kisses. I have a tear in my eye now..

Powelly, please try not to stress too much hun :comfort: I remember all those niggly feelings all too well! Rest up and chin up hun, it will be all good, I just know it!! Big hugs :hug:

Laney, yay for hubby being back!! I miss mine :rolleyes: So glad that clot isn't there anymore, the thinners must be working! I plan to attack my DF on the 'babies' topic when he is back from China but I would really love to do a cycle this year. We'll see!

Did I miss anyone? Oh Tenni, how are you going hun???

Big hugs to all xoxoxoxoxoxo

Teni - thinking of you especially tomorrow for Ianto's first angel versary. Approach the day with love in your heart, peace in your soul.... Your darling boy is always with you, nestled right in your heart.

Teni - Big hugs to you today. Not an easy day so be gentle on yourself xoxox
MissB - thank you for your note - not stressing is foreign to me but I'm working on it. I'm trying to give bub the nicest, calmest home. Sometimes I fail miserably but most of the time things are good..
Samcougar - hope that things are going well and that you are settling in nicely to newby-hood!

As for me, ultra sound coming up in 2.5 weeks and I'm starting to get really scared about it. I'm trying to not think about it as I know worrying won't change the outcome but I'm just petrified there will be a problem like the first time and going through the subsequent hell that followed after we lost our little boy. I know I'll enjoy the rest of the pregnancy after the scan, more than I have in the first half, and I just need the scan to be over with. Just wish I could find a way to silence the mind. I find I'm waking up in the morning with mind racing.

Hugs to all

Powelly - hugs... I know what it's like to be so petrified... I hope you find a way to quiet your fears, not silence them..... really the only advice I have is just try to live in each moment and try not to think about the future. I know that's hard... and often I couldn't take my own advice, but it worked to at least make things manageable. What date in 2.5 weeks?

Teni - look at you girl 37 + 1 weeks....

Jo - are you still with us oh pregnant one or have you popped? Your stitch would have come out or be coming out very soon. Thinking of you.

Laney - How is Brexton and Grayson going?

Miss B - how are those plans for Cam's big firsty coming?

Sam - Day 18.. how's it all going with dear little Sophie ( great name too by the way, I meant to say that earlier).!!

AFM - well apart from Hannah and I both having a cold and Hannah being much more gracious about it than me... I feel miserable. How is it that she smiles and laughs when she has a cold and I feel miserable and want to curl in a ball? Oh well, today Hannah sat unsupported all by herself for longer than her usual few seconds, and played with some blocks at the same time. It's just so amazing to watch them grow and achieve things.... the look they get as they are so proud of themselves is pretty neat too. But it also reminds me, that my little baby bear is growing up....

Oh and Amelia's angel day and the interment of the ashes ceremony went well, sad of course, but it was time and it was beautiful. Had a friend take some photos, so will post some... I am hoping the photos reflect the sadness but peacefulness of the day. Haven't been back yet, due to being sick.... guess the first time will be one of the hardest. I am thinking we might release some more butterflies and balloons on Nick's angel day. The weather will be cooler and the butterflies might hang around a while longer.

Oh I saw a beautiful little lady bug today... it was awesome. After Amelia died, it seems lady bugs were always landing on me and staying.... and until today that was something I had forgotten. It was nice to be reminded.

Hi
Dory I am glad your special day for your angels went well - it must have been hard. We still have Lukes ashes with us and I suspect they will remain with us for a while yet as we both hate the idea of him being somewhere alone iykwim :(

And yes I am still here and still pregnant! The exciting news is that in, oh probably less than 48 hours, I will be in labour. I want to rejoice with :dance: but now it is getting close I feel more like this :o Starting to remember all that "nice" stuff that comes afterwards like the bleeding, afterbirth pains, the initial attachment ouch with breastfeeding and the joy of the milk coming in and giving me porn star assets... oh but wait all of that is nothing really because I will have my baby in my arms!! :D
I am booked for stitch removal Thurs morning and my ob will break my waters at the same time - no drip to begin with, just wait and see if thats enough to get my body going, otherwise I'll have the drip again like I did with Kaitlyn. My ob is predicting a very quick labour so hopefully he is right. I had a dream last night that I had the baby and it just fell out of me and I didnt even know it had been born. And it was a girl and I looked at it and said "you aren't my baby, you are supposed to be a boy" LOL. Not long now till we find out for sure!

Wish me luck ladies :)

Jo - not long at all.... why the rupture of the membranes? To bring labour on? Oh I am sooooo excited for you.... am hoping for a quick and easy labour, and you'll be enjoying your baby moon so much you won't notice all the other ickies... LOL about your dream...

jo, I am so excited for you! I can't believe it is time already! I will be stalking facebook all day! I am thinking blue for you.....but I haven't been right yet ;)