Pregnancy after Late Loss, Recurrent Miscarriage or Stillbirth ~ November 2010

My BA's up, I had Cookie yesterday morning :)


Sent from my iPhone so forgive the speelung misstacks ;)

Just stopping in quickly as I am completely exhausted not feeling too well.

Had a bad headache from thursday night onwards, and was getting regular painful BHs every 20 mins last night, then woke up this morning feeling like something wasn't right so went to maternity and spent 4 hours hooked up to the CTG machine - only because Little Miss' HR was high (175-182bpm when active) and she wouldn't stay still long enough (3 hours straight of constant movements!!! plus only one big contraction in the entire time that made me feel like she was going to pop out right then and there lol) for them to get a good resting HR rythm - and had a pee test that showed ketones were present and that I was dehydrated before they said I was good to go home at 2:30 this afternoon.
They got me to drink a whole heap of water before they let me go, and thankfully it brought Little Miss' HR down to a nice resting level and put her to sleep for an hour or so lol She hasn't been that active for a LONG time, I was getting kicks left right and center, and she wouldn't stop moving her head from side to side either.
The registrar on call did a quick scan too, I didn't get to see the screen but hubby did before he had to go to work, she's still anterior and still engaged, and has developed the habit of lying her body sideways with all her arms and legs stretched out, made the midwife think she had turned posterior again - which the midwife was really nice and helpful and made me feel a lot better about going in as I was worried that it was all for nothing.
So now I just have to take it easy and rest as much a possible, and drink as much fluids as I can to stop me from getting dehydrated again.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Good morning ladies,

Teni, Congrats on cookies arrival!

JennaJayen, Glad everything turned out ok, not long now!

AFM Sophie is just beautiful, she's growing so fast and she's such a good bub. She sleeps well of a night only waking up once for a feed. i told DH last night that i want another one and he told me i was mad! :)

anyway i hope you are all well

Bec

Wow! I can't believe I am posting in here. After losing my 1st pregnancy at about 6wks, I was scared when I was pregnant with the twins, then after losing my twins, to say I'm TERRIFIED is still an understatement. I kinda wish i didn't test so early. I am so early and I am so scared of miscarriage. This pregnancy is so wanted but OMG I'm so scared..

Congrats Blessed!! Thats the best news!! I hope everything moves along smoothly for you. It does your head in at times but i hope you can relax a bit... well try anyway. :hug:

Blessed - congrats on making the move across to the UTD thread.... you sound so much like me.... desperate to test, testing early, and then thinking, if I didn't test, then I wouldn't know and the stress would last a little less! Dreaming about what it might be like to find out at , I don't know, say 20 weeks? LOL. As if.

Wishing you a sticky bub and healthy pregnancy! It's a long 8 and a bit months!

It's a really hard journey you're on now..... like Samcougar says, it does do your head in. For me, the fear never left, but it did change during the pregnancy.

Here's something I tried to do to help me through - whenever I got scared, which was pretty much all the time, I would find a quiet place, take some deep breaths, put my hand on my tum, and send that lil bub all my love, and then I would say, I am blessed. I am pregnant, right now I am pregnant.....

Here's something that my counsellor told me just recently, though this is very hard to get your head around, as all you want is to hold your live, healthy at term child, but, it's about what you put in, not what you get out. So my blossom, put your love and strength, and hope into the beautiful little life now growing inside you. You can't control the outcome of the pregnancy, but you can control how you react to the right now - and you are blessed! You are pregnant!

And visit BB a lot!

Sam - it's so good to hear that Sophie is doing so well..... I hear about other babies sleeping so well and I am just in awe. Makes me realise just how tough some of our parenting journey has been with Hannah. Wouldn't swap it at all though. I just adore her. She's had gastro recently, and for the first time ever I have someone elses vomit in my hair and I don't care. I am a bit over changing diarrhoea nappies though. Hannah's little bot must be getting sore. But she's a trooper.


Laney - how are you and Brexton and Grayson doing? I just re read your post about giving Shelbys clothes away.... wow, that must have been so hard. I can't give anything away, even though we didn't get too many things for Amelia, Nick or Sophie, I just am not ready to give those few precious things away and not Hannah's either. DH even says, oh we must put that away for Hannah's little brother or sister. He's got the baby bug too. I don't think you're crazy for wanting to try again....

I want to so much and DH and I are trying actively (LOL) but I think that while I am lactating and still feeding pretty regularly that I won't O. For a while I was really conflicted, so desperate to be UTD, but also wanting to BF Hannah. I contemplated giving up BF'ing, but then I thought, this might be my only chance to do this, so I will just continue to BF and see what happens.

I realised that when I think about TTC, and being UTD, I actually expect to either m/c or lose the baby. ( So I do understand Blessed) Sad huh? I get sad when I hear about friends who have a successful first pregnancy.... sad that I never got that chance. Sad that pregnancy for me, and all of us in here, is just such a super anxious time. But so desperate to be pregnant again....

JLK - how are you doing? Seems so long ago that we were all in here, pregnant and scared. How is Tehya?

Jo - how is sweet Gabe?

Jenna - how is Elise? And DS?
Teni - how is your princess Milly going? How are you doing? I saw your pic of Scott and Milly at the Heartfelt exhibition under Ianto's big poster.... it was so nice, and so sad. Of course I shed I tear or two for what could have been.

Miss B - how is the rambunctous Cam going?

Chez - I don't know if you check this thread out, but thinking of you, sending you lots of strength and hoping that all is as ok as it can be.

Hannah is 7 months old.... can you believe it? It has just flown by. She is just so adorable. Ahh bliss.

I have missed the chatter in here!
Blessed, i think that we are all early testers in here! Congratulations! I hope your doctor gets you in for an early scan so you can relax just a tiny bit.

Dory, Thanks for asking about us! We are all doing great! I am finally getting the hang of having to little miracles. I might be back in here with a bfp at some point. We are not actively trying but we are not doing anything to stop us from getting pregnant. Af is due in 3 days and I have thought a little bit about testing. After Grayson was born it took me a while to get pregnant and I had stopped breastfeeding at 2 months.
How is Hannah?

Laney - good to hear you're working out how to manage to parent two little livewires and two angels.... such different skills huh? I hope you get your BFP soon.... but wow in 2 days time would be so hard! Of course I would be so jealous! How do you even find the time to BD when there are two little miracles in the house?

I suspect it's going to take me a while to get AF back, as I am still BFing and there are no real signs she's coming anytime soon.... but it's fun trying.

Thanks for asking about Hannah. She is a true delight. She's been sick lately - a bout of gastro followed by ongoing diarrhoea. But the past two days her appetite has returned, and she generally a lot more settled and happy. Still, have another Dr's appointment booked for Tuesday ( Monday is a public holiday here), just in case. It will be 2 weeks she's been sick on Tuesday. I am hoping everything settles down soon. The number of bowel motions she has each day is crazy, still! When she's well she's a once a day girl, sometimes once every 2 days. Needless to say, we are going through nappies and wipes and cream. I had been starting to use MCN's but gave that up after they were all dirty and not dry and more nappies were needed.

She's 7 months old now.... she's not a little baby anymore, which is sad, but she is just so amazing and doing new things every day, it's so hard not to be excited with her. Everyday brings something new. It's just so amazing to be blessed.

Is Grayson still going to therapy? How is Brexton sleeping?

Anyway, I have just watched the royal wedding and must get off to bed. Take care. It was good to hear from you.

Dory - Elise is going well, and DS too, she finally hit 4.04kg on wednesday, and we're going with attempting to BF and she's mostly EBM fed stll, only has 1-3 bottles of formula a day and the rest is EBM.

Anyway, just thought I'd stop in quickly as it's an ad break (I'm watching Juno lol)

Hi everyone else!

Hi Dory, we're doing well thanks hun! Cam is 13 1/2 months now and turning into a little boy! No more baby :( For the last 2 months or so he's been ending up in our bed at some stage of the night (not every night but just about!). First I thought it was teething and then I realised he got used to sleeping with me when DF was away. Well now DF is back and Cam added to the equation is a very very cramped bed with me usually copping the rough end of the stick when I sleep on the edge of the bed most of the night and then my back and neck is stuffed! Oh well, I will have to think of a solution soon. Yesterday he had a temp and was burning up so i gave him panadol, this morning he's on the warm side but temp is OK. Red cheeks and all, I think it might be teeth related :(. Sounds like you're having a ball with beautiful HB! When she gets mobile it's a whole new ball game ;) Cam is not walking yet or trying to but still gets around by commando crawling most days and sometimes when he's in the mood he'll properly crawl.

Blessed, so good to see you here hun!!!!!!!!

Hi to everyone else :hello:

B xoxox

1st Goal reached! Past AF due date! I have such a good feeling about this pregnancy, then I kinda get angry at myself for being so naive and believing everything will be ok.. It's so hard and this is such a confusing time.. I still haven't told my Mum. Mainly because I don't want her to panic every time the phone rings and I know she will, if she lived close it would be different, but she is South Of Sydney and I am on the Gold Coast, so not exactly a drive away if I need her.. Yesterday was her birthday and she told me that her friends daughter is pregnant. I sooooo wanted to say something, but I kind of felt like if I did it would wreck her birthday. "Hey Mum, Happy Birthday, here's 35 weeks of worry and stress" Can anyone related to this? I will have to tell her this week, I HATE keeping it from her, and I plan to do my FB announcement on Mother's day.. Although of course I still miss Taite and Seth, this Mother's day will definitely be easier. This will be the 1st Mother's day where I have been pregnant, and hopefully the last Mother's day I don't have a baby in my arms!

Not sure if you read in my PA thread, but the day after I found out I was pregnant, I was taking DP to work and Tears in Heaven came on, which is one of the boys funeral songs.. A sign maybe?? I like to think so.

Anyway, sorry for rambling, I just had to get some of that out.. Oh also, I want to join my belly buddies thread, but I can't.. It's like I think I'll jinx myself. Did anyone have these irrational fears?

I had started doing a guided fertility meditation, so now I have continued but with a pregnancy one. I'm hoping it helps me to relax and embrace positive vibes!

Morning ladies - I've not posted here for a few reasons. Mainly I think because I've been trying to not dwell on the loss of my boys (anymore than I already do). But given I'm coming up on the d-day' timing - 19w - I'm starting to have fear and doubt, which I guess is normal so I thought I'd pop in and introduce myself here :-)

I do want to say a huge congratulations again Blessed. I too hope that all goes well for your pregnancy. Not trying to compare but I lost my first bubba at 8 weeks, then the twins at 19w and now I'm pregnant again, and I too have that horror feeling of 'what if'. I'm a bit further on than you, so if I can offer any advice its to slow down and look at one day at a time. Its worked for me not to get ahead of myself. Don't get me wrong, still be excited and look forward but just deal with what you can at the time, rather than try to let the 'what ifs' take over. The thing I'm telling myself is that this is totally different pregnancy that is low risk, boring and very normal.

We decided to tell folks close to us once we'd heard the heart beat. For us, the odds of the pregnancy continuning once we heard this was amazing reassurance. So perhaps it'd be worth getting a early ultrasound appoinment so confirm, we had ours at 7w and the little heart had just started beating. Twas mindblowing to see!!!

Hey all,

how is everyone? Congrats to everyone who has gotten a bfp :)

I am having a hard time balancing my emotions between, daring to dream and reminding myself it's still so early and anything could happen.. I am going for a scan on Wed to check how many are in there and viability.. I POAS again this morning and the line came up nice and dark. Then I had some pain in my side tonight and I started thinking 'What if it's ectopic' Every little pain is scary. I even started to get excited about my scan, but then fear sets in and I'm just so scared there will be no heartbeat. Then I started thinking 'what if it's twins again' Sorry I'm all over the place, just scared and wish there was something I could do.. I just need to tell myself as far as I know, I'm pregnant now and I need to try and enjoy it. *Sigh* Felt good to get that out.

Blessed - oh sweetie.... it is SOOOOOO tough. Knowing something and actually being able to put it into practise are two very different things. You will have lots of ups and downs. That's what this thread is for. I say dare to dream. You have a bud f hope in you, otherwise you wouldn't have even TTC. So keep that little ember of hope burning.

I think you should just embrace your pregnancy.... tell your mum She's a big girl. She can look after her own worry. You might need her support, and now is not the time to being doing it alone. Give her the opportunity to help you. This little baby and your family deserve to "enjoy" it... and why not? You deserve it. But also what will be will be. Whether you're glum or happy, whether you keep quiet or celebrate the little miracle growing inside you, what will be will be, so why not try to experience some of that pregnancy magic. It won't be every day, of course, but just a little magic every day goes a long way. Give your belly a big old rub for me, because even if you can't believe, I CAN FOR YOU!

To be honest, every little thing you've said, are things I have thought - everything is so so scary and so so precious all at once. A mate told me recently that I wasn't myself during my pregnancy will H. I can see that now and I sort of knew it at the time. I basically just shut most of the world out and just did what I could to get by. I was on modified bed rest from 7 weeks, so it was even harder than I expected. And I am so so very keen to do it all again.....

Saraharch - thinking of you.... I know it's hard but you've done so well!

Miss B - LOL re Cam in the bed. So is it Cam in the bed and the little one said "roll over, roll over", so they all rolled over and mummy fell out?

Laney - give you two little boys a hug for me.

JLK - hiya.

Teni - hope you and scott and mily are doing well. I am sure Ianto is doing a great job watching over you all and sending you his love.

I have decided for my next birth I am going to have a few signs made. One is going to read "Hannah is a BIG sister!", and another will welcome the baby, but will have to decide on the words... So how's that for positive thinking!

Belly rubs my blossoms. You are exceptional mummies. Stay safe and strong. You can do this.

Well we've been hunkered down here again. After getting over gastro, the snot fairy has come to visit. HB and I have been pretty miserable with a cold and it appears now DH has it. Caring for a sick child when you're miserable and sick was pretty hard. But I did it. Maybe not with a lot of style or glamour, but when is being sick either of those things? DH looks like he's coming down with it now. Part of me is sympathetic, I felt pretty miserable so I know it;s horrible. Part of me is callous - after all I was miserable and sick and I had to look after HB mostly by myself ( DH was at work and worked late the two nights I was desperate for help) and I want him to know, really know, just how hard that was. So part of me wants to let him sleep etc and the other part wants to kick him in the ribs and get up and suck it up. I told him that too. I am not sure if that makes me a nasty person or not.

Some woman is yelling at her child as they walk past our house. She's talking a lot about how she's feeling. Kinda reminded me of me when I was sick. But one of the things I thought about, was "if I feel this miserable, then poor HB must feel even worse", and "it's not just about me anymore". I must remember that when I hear myself talking about me a little too much to H.

Hi girls

Sorry it has been sooo long since I dropped in; my little guy is keeping me on the borderline of constant fatigue due to his 3 hourly demands for feeding and still waking twice overnight for feeds...yawn... it is so frustrating because by this age DD was sleeping through up to 10 hours a night :wall:
BUT I am so incredibly blessed to have my 2 beautiful bubs here with me safe and sound I can't really moan for too long and I appreciate that every day. My sweet girl turned 2 a couple of weeks ago; hard to believe that much time has passed!

Dory you are so amazing and always have such inspiring words for everyone. The forum is very lucky to have you on board! As for being a nasty person for wanting your DH to suffer, you can add me to the club as I am feel like that too sometimes :shhh:

Congrats to all the new expecting mummies and I'm glad all the "graduates" are doing well :)

Wish I had something exciting to report but its just the same old groundhog day thing around here... big hugs to you all x

jo - don't be too hard on yourself.... little gabe is just being himself.... H is 8 months old and still wakes 1-2 times a night.... DD was just the stuff new parents dreams are made of! Can't believe she's 2. You are doing really well.... it will get better sleepwise soon! hugs, i know it's tough. and thanks for the support!

Hi ladies im new to the forum I've been reading this forum for a couple of days now and im sorry to you all who have lost a little one but happy for you's who have also had little earthside bubbas.

Well to start with im Shaz im 19 i recently on 1st November lost my little man at 23 weeks and 3 days everything went fine until one night i though i had bh when infact i had real contractions and ended up in Canberra having a premmie babie who unfortunaltely didnt make it he made it through 1 day so we got cuddles and photos but his big brother or sister didnt get to meet him which upsets me. Well yesterday after feeling pregnant for a bit now I finally had a BFP after having a blood test done. We had the kids for the weekend and well there 5 and almost 3 so much of a handful so dh took them to get them a suprise from the shop while i waited for my test results, it was an agonizing wait but when he said the words "you are pregnant" i felt so happy and well over joyed, dh is he already has his worrying clock on until we are over the 23 week mark so do i so ive started taking vitamins and well i eat healthy im starting to regualry excersise. It was the happiest moment when i told dh his ds was excited also so was his dd who keeps lifting my top up and saying bubba.

Well sorry this is a bit or a short and sweet hello to you all but ill make sure i reguarly look here. :)