Hey All
I am nearly 6 weeks pregnant, I found out very early on and of course we are over the moon.
I joined a few forums for support, info and answers should I need any...........
BUT I have to say I am freaking out!!!
I was totally oblivious to how common MC is, being in an emotional state, I am letting this not only totally stress me out as I am so early on, but also, so devestated that this is so common and all you ladies have been through this.
I am soooooooo lucky, I have two beautiful kids, one old soul and a gorgeous firey energy and we all, as a family are so excited about our new bubba.
I so want to enjoy this preganancy as I didn't really the last two, but I find myself consumed that something bad will happen and am not enjoying this so far.
Perhaps I should steer clear of the firums until I'm further in?
Does anyone else feel like this or am I crazy?????
It is fairly common I suppose, but possibly the numbers are a bit skewed. I personally have never miscarried. I do feel I am very blessed for this. I have really not spoken about me and pg before because to be honest, it is a bit of a stress knowing I can get pg at the drop of a hat, and that means another baby. I won't terminate, and I always do carry to term. I never really want to sound ungrateful for it - but the grass isnt always greener, right?
I wonder maybe if my approach has anything to do with it. I step back from everything for the first tri. No tests. No scans. No appointments. Just me and my pregnancy. That way I am not stressing about needles or my hcg level - or trying to keep down a litre of water so they can find a heartbeat. I just like to be left alone about it during that time and do everything possible to just be me (through the constant, unrelenting hyperemesis that is).
The doctors freaked me out enough with my first - and DH freaked out enough for the both of us with my 3rd. I gave up joining in with them because frankly, I can't stop it from happening so I just accept that what happens in the first tri WILL happen and carry on. I am just grateful really that I have never really had to find out. I suspect I may be singing a different tune if I knew.
I've been fortunate to never had a mc but like most people I've had family members & friends who have, and TBH I think most of us worry about it.
ATM I am almost ready to pop, and I'm still staying away from forums relating to loss of any kind. I have a mind that will latch onto the tiniest thing to worry about and make it reallly big, kwim? So I know the best thing for me personally is to avoid anything that gives my mind something to play with.
I was 4 1/2 week when I found out this time so I had loads of time to worry about mc... and then I started to worry about other things ...but that's just me, although as I said most of us worry to some degree.
So what I do is
- stay away from any forums or stories of loss;
- try and focus as much as possible on positives rather than fears
- keep reminding myself that this really is in the hands of God / fate / the universe, whatever your belief is - there are things we can do to lessen the risk but nothing we can do to guarantee things.
Strangely enough the other thing that helps is knowing that it's pretty normal to worry. With my last PG (number 3 for me as this one is for you) I was freaking out the whole way through and I was convinced it was my intuition telling me things were wrong. Then when the birth didn't go as planned I was convinced that I 'knew' something was up. BUT - here we arewith DS2 7 years later, everything was and is just fine
And this time I am fortunate enough to have found BB & the forums here which are great for reassuring you that there is at least one other person out there going through what you are, and it's pretty normal. It helps rest my mind. No, you're not crazy!
I think that everyone worries. I didn't get my hopes up about my pregnancy until I had the 12 week scan because someone really close to me just lost their bub at 10 weeks so I was thinking 'it must be too good to be true if it works out for me', plus every website or forum you look at it can seem that everyone has had a really difficult time getting pregnant and then carrying the baby to full term.
You have to bear in mind that people that have stock-standard low risk pregnancies wouldn't really write about it because their story is the norm iykwim?
As it turns out, I went for my scan earlier this week and bub is as perfect as could be, which is what I am sure will be the case with you.
If I was you, I would look only at positive forums or forums for bubs so you can get excited rather than dwell on the 'what if's'. That's what I've been doing and that's helped. And just remember that people have a more difficult path to get their bubs will be looking for support online moreso that those who can fall pregnant very quickly and have no issues; so what is norm online isn't really norm in real life.
Wishing you a happy, healthy and stress-free pregnancy! xx
It's a very overwhelming time isn't it. I was a bit like you in the first trimester (only just clicked over 13 weeks yesterday) But those first 8 weeks I was beside myself. I had so many blood tests to check my HCG levels I was calling myself the human pincushion. Thank god my OB was so understanding. I'm an older mum-to-be and I also miscarried in November last year so lets just say that I didn't enjoy those first two months at all.
I found I had to back away from some of the forums on BB because I couldn't handle it. I found that reading too many books was not such a good thing and I also had to cut down on all the googling I was doing. It helped - ALOT!
So now I've had my 12 week scan and I'm waiting for results and I'm considered a high-risk pregnancy because of my age but I do feel better. I saw my baby and it had a heartbeat! I heard my baby's heartbeat and it was wonderful.
Just hang in there. You can't change anything. What will be will be. I hope that everything goes well for you and I know how you must be feeling. Chin up.
If it helps... as someone said the numbers may be a bit skewed - there are HEAPS of women who have normal healthy pregnancies and don't feel they need the support of a forum - I think the forums attract those who need support, need to vent, need to question... so you're going to get more unusual cases than in the general population... Am I making sense?
I'm freakin out!!
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...but that's just me, although as I said most of us worry to some degree.
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