DH not wanting any 'loving'

[Natty]

I feel embarrassed posting this but I feel so down and wretched at the moment that I just need some friendly support!!

My DH wont come near me now that my belly is well out there (23 weeks and already quite large). I should have known that he would be like this because he was with DD although when pregnant with her at least he was happy to kiss and do 'other' things as opposed to BD'ing. This time around I can barely get a hug off him and I sometimes feel like he wont even look at me. I feel so unloved and unwanted - especially as I am quite an affectionate, tactile person and to me, affection and 'loving' is a way of showing it. And because I have put on quite a bit of weight already I just feel so unattractive and that sets off the paranoia that he will leave for someone else.....

We have discussed it and all he will say is 'you know how I feel about you pregnant'. He thinks its wierd to be sexual with a 'third' person there and also disrespectful to me as I am doing 'bigger things' (ie growing a baby) plus he finds pregnant women unattractive. He has tried the last few days to give me a hug and a peck on the lips every now and then but I guess I want him to WANT too, not because he feels like he has too.

Is anyone elses DH like this? How do I get through the next four to five months without feeling hurt and resentful?? Anyone else's advice/experiences would be most appreciated!

[foreva*your*mummy]

oh to you, i dont have any advice my Dh didnt feel this way but i have heard of it happening before.
Have you tried telling him that you feel hurt by his actions ( or lack of).
I'm not sure what to say but hang in there

[Ginger]

my dp was exactly the same. we dtd probably about 5 times throughout the whole pregnancy.
i could never get my head around it, took it really personally and felt very rejected. i tried to get him to 'explain' it to me several times, but he just said he felt weird and that he felt like he would poke the baby in the head!
anyways.....just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and for us, it never turned into a permanent problem. once ds was born dp went straight back to how he was before the pg.
hth

[Misskylie]

Oh god, i'd be a complete mess if my DP ever said that to me I also think you should sit down and talk to him about it, I can't understand how your husband can find you unattractive! you have his unborn baby inside you.. whats more attractive than that! I hope that you can knock some sense into your DH. Good luck hun

[lestyrox]

My DH is the same (and to be honest i am a bit as well) we both can't get past the fact that there is a 3rd person involved It doesn't help that i have a very active and responsive bump.. its very off putting to look down in the heat of the moment and see my belly moving around
But that said i don't see why your DH doesn't want to even give you a hug or a kiss, i can see why you're feeling rejected. I too like my cuddles and kisses with DH and i think i'd be devistated if he didn't want to give me any offection. Just because he doesn't want to get frisky doesn't mean he can't still show you he loves you with kisses and cuddles. I'd try talking to him again and telling him how you're feeling. Maybe he doesn't realise just how much its upsetting you? Sorry i can't be more help.
to you