Hey all,

Im so damn depressed. I am currently 38+2 weeks pregnant with baby number 5. Its been the pregnancy from hell, and I have been over it since the 5th month. Its a long time to be over something but still have to endure it.
My midwife decided weeks back that today she would give me a stretch and sweep. I was so looking forward to it. To have my body back without the horrendous SPD and severe pregnancy induced carple tunnel syndrome. To be able to eat without the heartburn that makes you vomit because its so bad, and sleep without being in excruciating pain. I barely slept last night because although I was nervous I was so excited too. To think that this may have been the last night I was pregnant for, and to think that in a 24 - 48 hour period I might be holding my bubba in my arms rather than my stomach. Ohhh the serenity of it all was awesome.
However when I went to my appointment today I was informed that my midwife would not perform one, because a lady that was supposed to be induced last week and declined had decided that this morning she wanted to be induced and because my midwife was having a "quiet" day she would do it. So Ive been bumped because she cant have 2 of us possibly in labour. I am absolutely shattered. I have cried all day and cant seem to pull myself together. Now I like to think Im a pretty reasonable person, and, well ok, I understand this woman is probably a higher priority than me, but cmon!! A little heads up would have been nice. So now I sit here thoroughly depressed thinking "drink castor oil" but dont worry, 1 I cant cause I dont have any, and secondly I think I would prefer to pass on adding any extra ailments to this pregnancy.
I know Im close to the end anyway and I know the baby will come when its ready, and yes I know the stretch and sweep may not have actually been successful, so please if you do write anything dont write any of that. I think it would make me cry more reading it I know I cant achieve anything here by writing all this and all other natural induction methods have failed, but I just needed to get all this out. Maybe it might help a little with the emotional side of things if I verbally expressed (or typed) this all.