Get a dog.....?!

[Cricket]

I've read in a few places that people who are trying to decide if they want to have a baby should get a dog first. I find that really strange advice.
I can see that there is responsibility in caring for a pet, and a certain level of commitment required (although, you can sell or give away a dog - that's not going to happen with a baby!) but it's so totally different to have a baby! It's your very own little person! It's part of you and your husband. There's no hormonal reaction to a dog. No mother-baby attachment from conception on. No life-long commitment. No moral upbringing to undertake.
I guess it's maybe partly because I'm not really a pet person, but if I had to make the decision about whether to have children or not based on how I liked having a dog, I would never have children!
What do you think?

[Astrid]

I can see part of the logic. A good friend of mine got a puppy when her DS was about 18 months. Within a day she was in tears and not coping. She and her DH had been deciding whether to go for a 2nd child. After that day her DH went a booked a vasectomy. It did show her that she was too much of a stress ball to be handling more than one at a time.

I have had cats most of my life and got a dog when DD2 was about 6 months. I have very strong attachments to my cats, I do worry about and in no way would I give them up, the dog, well he is another matter. They do show restrictions to your life about having to care for another, no more just hoping in the car for a weekend getaway. The house has to be setup with autofeeders for the cats, the dog is much harder, he either had to come if it is longer than 1 night away or we don't go. Really it is easier to go away with kids, at least they are welcome at most places unlike a dog.

[Heaven]

No it's not the same at all but it is a little taste of what it's like having to think about something else all the time whenever you plan something. We got a dog first, not with the thought to see if we were ready for a baby but actually looking back it was probably like getting ready. Proving to ourselves that we could look after something and keep it alive, lol. And our dog is like part of the family we would never sell him or anything so we have to put up with him whatever we do, LOL.

[Cricket]

I guess it's because I'm not really a pet person then. Honestly - if I thought that having children was like having a dog, we would not have children! I find that pets in general are not worth the hassle that they bring. But babies, though they may be much more "trouble," are worth every second, IMO. (Hence the fourth little person on the way. )

[Heaven]

Oh yeah, I love my dog to bits, he is definately part of our family.

[Cricket]

Yes, I understand that for some people, pets are part of the family. And if you're not a pet person, you don't get that. But you don't get that choice with a baby. If you're having a baby, you're having a baby. You don't get to say after a few months "well, I guess I'm not really a baby person."

I guess I find it odd advice, because for people who like pets, it might give them a good hint at the responsibility of parenting, whereas for people who don't like pets, it will make parenting seem like a huge, unwelcome burden, and they might decide not to have children, just because pets didn't work out so well.

[HotI]

It's your very own little person! It's part of you and your husband.

Couples who have children using donor sperm, eggs, embryos or adopt still have hormonal reaction, attachment from conception or from first hearing about/seeing baby

There's no hormonal reaction to a dog. No mother-baby attachment from conception on. No life-long commitment. No moral upbringing to undertake.

People can have hormonal reactions to their pets. Pets have shown to decrease pain, depression and have many psychological and physical benefits. People do make a commitment to the length of the life of the pet. There is teaching of the pet to do, so that they are a responsible part of society- not the same as for a child but still a worthy job to do.

I haven't actually heard people say if you want to decide if you want a kid to get a dog first. Maybe this is a recommendation by people who have doubts the person is able to show commitment and responsibility and want to give them a taste of what it would be like to be responsible for another life?

I guess it's maybe partly because I'm not really a pet person, but if I had to make the decision about whether to have children or not based on how I liked having a dog, I would never have children!

I guess this is the clincher, if you are not a pet person, you can't understand the connection that people have with their pets. Similar to before you have kids you can't fully comprehend the feelings you will have for your kids.

just my thoughts