thread: How do you tell friends you dislike them just dropping in?

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,251

    How do you tell friends you dislike them just dropping in?

    Hello again Ladies,

    I have a dilemma and need your help.
    We have friends, a couple, who live just around the corner from us and in the last cpl weeks they have dropped in 3 times unannounced.
    The first time hubby and I were setting up our nursery, a special time just for us. Second time was a day when I was really crook and I had to entertain them for about 2 hrs and now I've just had my shower, washed my hair and was sitting on the couch in nothing but an oversized tee and surprise surprise they knock at the door again
    How do you politely tell or hint to friends that you would prefer they call first before dropping in?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Jan 2010
    SA
    129

    I just keep quiet and don't answer the door! haha

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Jun 2009
    vic
    2,886

    Yeah I have the same problem here, DH doesn't think it matters. But I prefer people give a quick call first. Not sure how you tell them, I have put it as my fb status a few times but that hasn't helped!

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Add Kazbah on Facebook Follow Kazbah On Twitter

    Sep 2006
    Dandy Ranges ;)
    7,526

    DH's family dropped in one day unannounced and I told them they could sit out on the porch and wouldn't let them in cause the house was messy. The whole family now gives me a day's notice. Just try something like that - tell them you're busy, the house isn't in a state for the, and have a chat outside on some chairs. Just let them know that if you get warning, then you'll be able to be ready for them. After all, there's a lot of napping happening at this stage of your pregnancy!

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Melbourne
    1,612

    I second what CrazyCat said, just don't answer the door if it's not convenient for you. Any way you can see who it is before you answer it? If so, have a sneak peek, and if it's them, or any other unwanted guests, stay quiet until they leave. Next time you see them and they say they popped in and you weren't there, tell them they should have called first. Also you might want to say that you're telling all your friends and family to call before coming over in preparation for the baby.

    Hth, I know how annoying it can be

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Sunny Qld
    14,682

    DH told me to tell you that the next time they turn up, open the door and be totally naked.

    Next time - they'll know to call first.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Jan 2006
    The Hawkesbury
    4,505

    I would just say to them next time you see them, next time just give me a call just to make sure we're home and im not in my birthday suit! Make it a little humorous. Hopefully theyll get the hint.. lol or just dont answer the door.

  8. #8
    Registered User

    May 2005
    Canberra
    3,617

    I stand in the doorway (blocking it) say "hello" and then follow up with "Wow, I wish you had of called first - I am really busy at the moment, but I would love to catch up later if you want to ring and arrange a time". That way you have mentioned calling twice, but still reinforced the idea that you would love to catch up with them.

    It sometimes takes a couple of times before they get the hint (some people just don't realise that it might inconvienience you) but if you do the same thing each time, and follow up with ringing yourself before visiting them, they will get the idea.

  9. #9
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,251

    Thanks ladies
    I made hubby entertain them this time, I ran upstairs and hid hehe
    I like the idea of not answering the door or keeping them on the front porch
    I'm just one of those ppl who like notice when ppl are visiting.

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Apr 2010
    Tropical Far North Qld
    731

    Oh my god i HATE when this happens! I was having a nap a while ago and a mate dropped in with her dh and his friend.. they were all drinking.. i was so annoyed that i cldnt even pretend to be happy to see them!
    I think its just so rude.. its like they are saying 'we are more important then anything u are doing therefore u will drop everything and entertain us!'
    If ur dh doesnt mind seeing them maybe when they turn up just continue to do what u were already doing or yeah just go and do something else! Surely they will get the hint eventually!

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    brisbane
    3,975

    Just let them now to ring first next time...or you can send them over to my house I dont get visitors lol

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    In a house, on a hill with a big fat welcome mat!
    6,772

    I hate it too! i would stop answering the door or make a point of calling them and asking if you can go there and make a huge deal about how impolite it is when people just drop by followed by "don't you agree???????"

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    in the ning nang nong
    12,163

    I totally know what you mean ...

    I have never actually done the not answering thing with people I know (but have with door-to-door people a few times, since being pg and having a newborn) and have a couple of times not let people I know inside ...

    Standing in the doorway and saying something along the lines of, "It's really nice of you to think of me, but I'm acutally in the middle of something at the moment/going out shortly, and can't stop and chat. But give me a bell tomorrow, and we can set a time to have lunch/coffee/dinner."

    I have also on a couple of occations answered in my nightie/bathrobe/towell/the nude (not showing anything - wooden doors are wonderful thing) and let it be really clear that now is *not* a good time. "Sorry, I'm a little naked right now. But how about dinner on thursday?"

    Good luck!

    Similar problems can pop up whedn you give birth, and are trying to work out ways to stop people from visiting you in the hospital, when you're trying to meet your baby and learn to BF (if you choose to)...

  14. #14
    Enchanted Guest

    This is something that really gets under my skin! I never just rock up on someone's doorstep, as I know I hate it myself.

    Maybe you could do what some of the girls above said and not answer the door and if they say next time you see them that they popped over you could say "Oh, did you? Sorry but I was having a sleep. Just give me a quick buzz next time before you pop over to see if I'm up and about" or something along those lines.

  15. #15
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    675

    I would start with a subtle 'oh you should have rung before you came, we are just about to leave for an appointment', or 'if we had of known you were coming we could of had something in the house to eat', and if they don't get that then I'd get less subtle by going out of my way to ring and see if it was convenient before I visited them, or less subtle still just ask them to ring first! I think just not answering the door is a bit childish and doesn't really solve the problem.

  16. #16
    BellyBelly Member
    Add ~MummaBear~ on Facebook

    Sep 2009
    Bunbury WA
    804



    I have also on a couple of occations answered in my nightie/bathrobe/towell/the nude (not showing anything - wooden doors are wonderful thing) and let it be really clear that now is *not* a good time. "Sorry, I'm a little naked right now. But how about dinner on thursday?"
    Now i know how you got your name you nutter ROFL
    i am shocking for popping in on a couple of people without ringing... but only ones that i know dont care but if someone was unhappy with me popping in i would hope they said something to me. i would hate to find out later that i was annoying them.. good luck!!

  17. #17
    Registered User

    Jul 2009
    2,251

    Thanks again ladies,

    Would it be inappropriate to send a quick msg saying "sorry I didn't come down and say hi, you caught me in my PJ's, give me a call next time your dropping by and i'll make sure i'm decent."

    Thanks again for the advice, You BB girls are great

  18. #18
    Registered User

    Oct 2008
    675

    Yep that text sounds good to me!