How many visitors in hospital!?

[Jupiter]

Hi there,

Just wondering how many visitors people had in hospital.... what is a good number to manage. I know you want some visitors but what is the right balance?
My hormones must be going crazy - somedays i worry no-one will visit then i worry we'll have too many!!
thanks
Jupiter

[Trillian]

I think if you invite the people you most want to visit, then you should be fine and let others know before hand that they are most welcome to visit once you are home and in a more relaxed setting. If you do end up being bombarded with visitors, the staff are pretty good at making them move on if you want them too. I have even told the midwives not to allow visitors once too.

[Meluchja]

I wanted everyone to come to the hospital as I thought it would be easier on me to have visitors in hospital rather than at home. But everyone thought the opposite, well nearly everyone anyhow. Only had a couple of visitors other than family in hopsital, everyone else waited until I got home, which was when I was really tired and exhausted, from having to catch up with some house work aswell as bubs, but I'm sure they thought it would be easier for me this way. It was lovely though don't get be wrong, just wish some of them had come to the hospital when I have nothing else to do, IYKWIM.
This time around I have made sure I have told people I don't mind if they visit in hospital, hint hint!! But either way I don't really mind, it's nice to have visitors.

How long do you have to go?

[Ozziehoffy]

I told everyone that they had to prearrange visiting times before coming to see me...lol.

[~Debbie~]

i abit lucky in the regards that my family and friends are all eastern states, and DH doesnt have a huge family over here.
I was thinking last night about having a list of peoples that are allowed in, and giving it to the midwifes, and then, for peoples that arent allowed in, perhaps if they show up, then can be told that i am sleeping or something. Not to sure.
When my mum comes over, i am going to have an 'open day' at my place, she wants to do something for me, so, if i tell everyone about that, and when it is going to be, (which i will tell peoples at the baby shower) then i am hoping that that will stop visiters at hospital, and then in the early days when i get home. Bubs will be about 2 -3 weeks old when i have my 'open day', which will last maybe 2 - 3 hours.

[LadyRaven]

Im going to have an SMSin system going, you get an SMS u visit, u don't leave me alone lol I dont know who I will and wont want to see

[Jacqui]

Half the battle for visitors is over at Gold Coast Hospital. There visiting hours are from 4pm - 8pm. Hubby and kids can come from 830 - 2pm....but the rest must wait. I think that cuts out about half of my visitors. As lots of my friends already have kids, and probably aren't too keen on dragging them all in to the hospital.

With my first I had a steady stream most days, my second I had fewer but I was only in there for 2 days.
I would tell everyone to ring your partner/hubby first and check if is ok. Its amazing how sympathetic a man can be when he has seen his love give birth. I can remember over hearing Al on the phone saying "Oh she's had a big day...she's good, but very tired atm".

Just so cute to hear the overwhelming care factor.

[Karina]

I wish I had have told people they had to pre-arrange visits before they came...
but I didnt think of it and I had ended up with people just showing up when I was trying to rest. Drove me insane! My sister was lierally waiting outside the door of my delivery room, and then when I got to the ward, there were people there waiting to see me (after I had told them they didnt need to come in), when all I wanted to do was have some private time to rest - got to hospital 1:30 am in full-on labour, so as you can imagine, I had no sleep for a long time by the time my daughter was actually born at 10:30am)...

at one point there was 6 people visiting at one time, and I felt that was too much. I could handle 2, but 6 was a bit much. We were lucky in that a few people were thoughtful enough to ring before showing up. So I would definately tell friend/family what you want to re visitors.

[nic]

I had all of DH's family show up at once, and it was so overwhelming!

Should there be a next time, I will be telling everyone that they will have certain days they can visit on.
First day will be for DH and DD only.
Second day will be for my parents and the IL's and possibly grandparents later that day.
Third day will be for anyone else, as long as they are spread throughout the day and not all at once!

Goodluck!

Nic

[Pandora]

at one point there was 6 people visiting at one time, and I felt that was too much. I could handle 2, but 6 was a bit much.

I *wish* thats what I'd had! I actually asked people not to come.
Day 2 after giving birth, there were no less than 15 visitors in my room at the same time. Actually I think it was more than that, but am trying to be conservative in my estimate.

I wish the hospital had put a limit on it, but because I was still in the borthing suite (so not sharing) I think they didn't seem to care.

Next time I will be putting a limit on the number of visitors.

I was a complete wreck the next day, didn't help with the day 3 baby blues, and the midwives were all saying 'oh thats the one who had all the visitors...' like it was my fault.

[Karina]

Day 2 after giving birth, there were no less than 15 visitors in my room at the same time.

I think I would have screamed if that happened to me.

Another thing I didnt like about the groups of people visiting was when the nurse asked me to come back to my room because I needed to have a catheter because I coudlnt pee. All the visitiors came back into my room and were waiting on the other side of the curtain while the nurses put the catheter in, afetr I had asked everyone to wait outside! and what really got me was when MIL asked to come in when she knew full well I was lying there, naked from the waist down with my legs apart, while the catheter was going in! I was horrified. Talk about undignifying. I said no way when she asked, obvisouly.

I thinkthe issue with visitors is that they seem to think of you as public property when youve got a baby in hospital, and especially the people who havent had children dont realise how tired you can be after giving birth, and that you might just want time with baby and hubby so you can all get to know each other. Privacy is what I really craved, and I got none... gosh, there were even people showing up to the hospital looking for me after I had gone home!

I think you need to be firm with your visiting wishes.. if your family is anything like mine!

[Jacqui]

A good excuse to clear the room....he/she is ready for a feed now and I we are still getting to know each other with feeding so can you all please get going. Thanks.

No one is ever offended by a mother trying to breast feed....no matter how confident you are the last thing you need is an audience as you try to attach your baby correctly to your breast, without disturbing the previous cracks from last feed lol!

[Ozstar]

I have been thinking about the same thing recently. Most of my family live in NSW and I live on the Gold Coast so I shouldnt have to much trouble with to many vistiors (fingers crossed). I have already told my friends up here to call me or DH first before coming so we can let them know if it is a good time. I dont want people around while I am trying to breastfeed or have a nap.

[Tobily]

Another one here who would much rather everyone descend on me in the hospital!

By the time I get home I usually feel quite overwhelmed and in the hospital no one expects you to make them a coffee, you don't have to clean up before people arrive...etc etc. I just found it so much easier. They also don't tend to stay for hours and hours like they do if you're at home.

Probably the only downside was breastfeeding - with my first it was a bit hard and trying to do it in front of an audience sucked big time. I didn't want to ask them to leave...because in the hospital they can only really go and stand outside the room and I felt bad LOL. Where as at home I could've just gone into another room while DH entertained.

[Liz]

We didn't have too many visitors - they were all sick! (at least that's what they told us! LOL A few rang me direct in the room which was nice) One family had chicken pox so stayed away, others all had the flu of some kind. We did have a few come each visiting period tho, and it was nice. It's soooooooo boring in the hospital, and visiting hours for us were something like 2-4 and then 7-8pm (I think - can't remember!) so it was a really short time in that loooooong day. LOL.

[LizzysMum]

I hated all visitors except DH and wanted them all to leave and stop pawing over my baby. Same when I got home I just wanted us to be alone with our bubba.

This time I am not staying in hospy and it will be easier to "screen" visitors at home as in a hospy they feel free just to arrive!

[Charlyfrog]

Am sooooo going to do things differently this time as in, when I say NO I actually mean NO (not secretly 'yes' like I think my mum thought first time round!! Grr! )

I asked people to call ahead or sms ahead to ASK if it was ok to visit - NOT what mum & some cousins (that I never see!!) did.... she rang to say that she was only minutes away!! THEN she'd rock up with OTHER visitors....ie an aunty & uncle who I NEVER see!!! At one stage I had 12 people lining the walls and that certainly did not add to my happy factor, lol!!

Ooops, venting, sorry!!

Anyways, am ensuring I get a small room this time so with only 2 visitors it seems squashy and if anyone rings to say that they will be there in so many minutes we are going to say that it isn't convenient and to ring tomorrow Am also going to share with mum this fact ... should be interesting......

....and when I get home it will be the same: call ahead to ASK and if I am needing to sleep or don't want to be disturbed - ie just want our space, we'll just take the phones off the hook and turn mobiles off!!!

Drastic times call for drastic measures.....................LOL!!!!!

Oh and needing to bf is a fab excuse to clear the room!!!!!!

[DoulaRelle]

I agree - I would prepare your epxected visitors with " if you could call or text DH before you plan on coming he can let you know if it is suitable"

I had wayyy to many visitors with DS no1 to the point where I thought I was going to pass out and my Mum clicked onto this and very loudly announced that visiting hours were over and that she and they should all go ( way to go Mum!!)

You just never know how you will go - you may feel great and upto lots of visitors, but you could be exhausted, so just make sure everyone knows not to come until they call and check.