Negative Comments - Venting

[JellyBean]

Friends of ours had a baby girl on Sunday, and after I congratulated the Dad we got to chatting about my bump and impending birth.
First question.."who's your obstetrician?"
my answer...(a little taken aback - who asks that?) "I don't have one" (Actually, for various reasons I have chosen to have a natural, midwife-led birth thankyou...).
Next question.. "where are you having it?"
my answer..."The Family Birth Centre"
his response - "Ahhh, and then when the cord gets wrapped around its neck or its lungs aren't developed properly....what are you going to do then?"
my response (completely gob smacked ) "uh, then I'll be taken next door" (the main part of the hospital is about 50 metres away - not to mention the fact that the midwives in the birth centre would cotton on if something wasn't right just as quickly as the midwives in the main part of the hospital - and it takes 20 mins to prep a theatre for c/section anyway).
Then he proceeds to jokingly waffle on, saying something like, "oh yeah - just go out in the backyard - she'll be right..."
WTF???!!!! Who said anything about a backyard!!! Does he even know what a birth centre is???? Does he even know what a midwife is????? That they are the people who specialise in normal birth and Obs specialise in complicated deliveries (ie c/sections)? And that all midwives (including homebirthing ones) are fully equipped with equipment to monitor the heartrate, and oxygen should the mother or baby need it??? Not to mention a trillion other things they do - like all the after-birth care of mother and baby, and breast-feeding support when the Ob is off playing golf???
And get this... his Ob didn't even rock up to their birth - they were told at 7 months that he was going to be away on holiday (playing golf presumably...). So they effectively paid this goof a few grand to not be there at her birth, where she gave birth naturally without an Ob, without drugs, or any intervention from the midwives of any kind?
How can he be so small-minded - especially after such an empowering birth..???

I stayed up all night thinking about things I'd wished I said, before I aknowledged that he had actually deeply offended and insulted me. As if I would willingly put my baby at risk? I'm trying to let it go, coz I know this anger is not healthy for me or baby, but I am just so shocked by it all. Surely it is common sense that the last thing you should be saying to a pregnant woman is negative, judgemental things? Luckily for him his wife wasn't standing with him - because no doubt she would have given him a serve.....

Ahh - I feel a bit better now.

X

[Daydream Believer]

*hugs* to you hun

What a jerk. Shows how narrow-minded some people are

[squidipa]

*hugs* to you hun

What a jerk. Shows how narrow-minded some people are

you said it!
very rude, hubbie says he needs a slap up the face i would have thrown a GLASS OF WATER ON HIM grrrrrr so rude!!!

[MrsWelch]

OMG! What a knobhead! I don't know how you managed to restrain yourself from slapping him. I guess because his wife/partner had just popped one out that makes him expert of anything birth related.

[tan32]

what an idiot. Typical narrow minded freak who obviously thinks he is now a birthing expert
by the way i had my last bub in the birthing centre and his cord was wrapped around his neck. The midwife gentley untangled him while i birthed him.

[Neptune]

I am going the same path as you Jellybean, and I have come across these comments too. So annoying!!!!

Vent totally understood. some people are just ignorant, plus put these doctors on pedestals when they can't even be there for the birth. Hmph

[Nelle]

Ohhh how frustrating - but how silly of you not to realise that now you have a bump pretty much everyone else is an expert about you, and your IQ's just dropped significantly.

Try not to worry about it, something I've found very valuable to remember is that people's comments say more about them than about you. What this comment says about this man is that he doesn't understand what a birth centre is, and is also happy to make a comment based on his incorrect assumptions.

There's not much safer than a gentle birth centre birth really, my first bub was born in water in a birth centre and I can't rate birth centres highly enough.

[ladybird11]

What thoughtless words! Grrr.

I am so sorry you had to listen to his garbage for that period of time when you could have been doing something more meaningful - like having a productive conversation with an adult....

[Manhattan]

Big hugs to you JellyBean I can't believe he said that to you. What you choose is your choice, and no one has the right to belittle you no matter what their beliefs are. Such a shame he is so narrow minded, and as you say after the birth he just experienced.