Stressed at work but cant leave for 9 weeks

[GlitterMum]

Hi all,
I work at one of the big banks as a finance manager. I have only been here for 6 months but am really struggling with the job. I was fine to begin with but as my pregnancy is getting on, I am finding that it is sooooo stressful and it is making me feel sick. I cant remember anything and my customers problems are all just getting to me.
I start paid mat leave in 9 weeks but dont think I can take it anymore.
What can I do.
I dont have any sick leave left as I was sick with vertigo and had to have 5 days off.
I drive 1 hr to work everyday and feel so misrable.

Is there anything called stress leave??? Do you still get paid for it???
I cant afford to leave earlier or take leave without pay as I am the breadwinner.

Any suggestions would help. I wish I could just disappear in the workplace for the next 9 weeks.
I dont want to sound like a sook or that I cant handle it as I have had much senior position to this. I just dont know whats going on with me.

help please

[HotI]

Can your partner get some work so you could cut down your hours or finish earlier?

I don't think stress leave would apply, because the stress is due to things outside the workplace, not caused by something that happened at work IYKWIM.

take care,

kate

[GlitterMum]

Hey Kate, My DP works full time as well.
The stress at work is job related. The clients that I deal with are rude and demanding. The hours I have to put in (and dont get paid for 15+ per week) are horrible but I cant do my job without working extra.
Its a constant struggle to get deals over the line because of the area I work in. Its just crap, crap and more crap that I deal with everyday lol.

My DP has said that she ould get a night job but she works 40+ hors a week as it is.

[LionsandBears]

I don't think stress leave would apply, because the stress is due to things outside the workplace, not caused by something that happened at work IYKWIM.

Stress leave is usually for work-related stress. If the job is making you sick, the organisation needs to do something about it.

Can you talk to a manager and be re-assigned? Stress isn't good for you or your baby. Can you talk to a doctor - a doctor's certificate/letter may help back you up? If you're part of the big 4 - they usually spout family friendly work policies. Is HR any use in your company? The last thing a company like that wants is the PR fall out of a pregnant woman breaking down at work. Even if the doctor says you can only work X hours, it may help reduce the stresss. Many companies will take as much from their staff as they can - including 15 hour days - it's up to you to stop it now.

Politically - it's better for you to be reassigned now (based on your pregnancy/stress), than have you boss think you're failing at yor job - it may affect your return to work chances.

Remember rule #1 - always look after yourself first.

Good luck

[GlitterMum]

Thanks Tash, I am guarenteed my job when I return to work, Its standard with the banks. I also have the option of taking my role part-time when I return.
I would be happy to lower my work hours or maybe do less days but that will mean that my Mat leave will be reduced as well.
I need to just try not to stress if I dont hit my targets. my target have just been increased by 110% and the corss sales that we need to get are incredible. They have also changed the bonus struncture so its impossible to get your bonus.
I have been stting here thinking about what is stressing me out and its the 3 or so teleconferences a week that we have to log on too to explain why we havnt hit our targets, what we are going to do more of to get people in to buy houses.
the target are just way too high. I have to lend at least a million dollars a week to even get close. People are just not buying in this area. Also our lending criteria has changed and people just cant afford the deposits that are needed.

[Madissun]

No advice sorry hun, just

Hope it gets better for you soon.

[GlitterMum]

Thanks Madissun
You have made me feel that lil bit better

[fionas]

I'd do a few things - go and see your manager and explain that you're feeling stressed and that it's no good for the pregnancy.

You might find that they tell you that they have to be seen to be go, go, go but secretly they know that the targets are more than a stretch.

Definitely ask if you can be reassigned to a different area too.

[Mum2SweetCs]

Hi Bee

Can you work from home for a few days? saves you time travelling.

Hope it gets better soon

[GlitterMum]

Cheers Fiona, My manager is great and I know she supports me 100% bt I come off probation in 4 weeks and might see if I can hold off until then. I have been told that I am doing a brilliant job and they are very happy with me but dont want to cause any waves. As soon as Oct 1 comes I will def talk to her. That is a fantacstic idea.

I am sure I can hold off 4 weeks. it just gets to me in the evenings when I think about work the next day and how many sales I need to get. I end up a blubbering mess and cant eat anything. I have been off my food for the past 2 weeks which is soooo not like me at all.

[Mak]

Bee84 - it is horrible to be stressed out about work. Is there anything you can do on the way home to unwind? Some meditation, music, walking when you get home for 30mins - whatever helps you relax?
I have had to work really hard to detach myself from work before I walk in the door at home or to pick up my kids.
I also have tried to stop worrying about what might be....IYKWIM. It has taken lots of practice but honestly I look back at my time before and wish I had not given work so much of me. I do a great job still but I don't pay a personal price for it.
I hope things settle down soon for you - good luck!

[GlitterMum]

Thanks Mak,
What a great idea. I will try that. I live across the road from a beautiful park. Before I even step through the door I might go for a 15- 20 minute walk.
Might shift the focus and help me to forget for the night.

Thanks so much. will let you know how I go
xx

[fionas]

Yep, try some relaxation techniques but also have a think back to when you were worried about something else, maybe last year. I bet it seems like a long time ago and I bet the situation didn't turn out anywhere near as badly as you thought.

I'm not trying to say you're silly for being stressed - not at all - I can be the biggest stresshead you've ever met so know how awful it feels. But sometimes a bit of perspective helps. It IS only nine weeks and although nine weeks can drag and feel like absolute hell, if you try to approach it as only nine weeks, then yay you're on maternity leave, you can kind of change your thinking around to this being like 'playing' at being at work because you'll be gone soon. Hope that made sense. Try to think of ways you can have fun at work. D'you know your colleagues very well? Chances are they think the targets suck too. Sometimes a good gossip session works wonders and it helps when you're all in the same boat.

And if all else fails, what I do when I'm worried I'm not doing a good job is to compare myself to someone I know who's doing a terrible job! I'm sure that's not a very healthy way of building my self-esteem but hey, it works!

[Taurean]

I'm not trying to say you're silly for being stressed - not at all - I can be the biggest stresshead you've ever met so know how awful it feels. But sometimes a bit of perspective helps. It IS only nine weeks and although nine weeks can drag and feel like absolute hell, if you try to approach it as only nine weeks, then yay you're on maternity leave, you can kind of change your thinking around to this being like 'playing' at being at work because you'll be gone soon. Hope that made sense. Try to think of ways you can have fun at work. D'you know your colleagues very well? Chances are they think the targets suck too. Sometimes a good gossip session works wonders and it helps when you're all in the same boat.

Fiona has raised a really good point here. I totally understand where you're coming from hon (I was over work at the 20 week mark!) but taking each day and each week at a time will definitely help. I know it's hard to believe but your maternity leave will come around sooner than you think. Everyone said that to me and I thought the time was dragging but it really wasn't. Be sure to give yourself something to look forward to each weekend and don't be disappointed when Monday comes around again, just think "I'm a week closer to finishing work and a week closer to meeting our baby". That really helped me.

You should be entitled to stress leave so definitely discuss that with your GP and your manager. Stress is nasty for both you and bubs so yes, best avoid it. Lighter duties is a really good option too. I had a few random days of very nasty braxton hicks about 4 weeks before I was due to finish work so in the end my boss suggested I just take it easy and work from home until I finished! I couldn't believe it although I knew I had an understanding boss. It was so much better as I didn't have to worry about getting all dressed up for the office or the drive to and from (approx 40 mins each way). So if you can work from home at least one or two days a week then definitely suss that out too.

Hang in there and know that you're not alone. It's so tough to push on but the end is in sight and I honestly promise you that it won't seem like it now but it really does come around before you know it

[satya]

Stop doing the extra hours. You've already said the targets are not achievable so don't bother working extra hours as you wont be reaching them regardless of the amount of hours you do.

You need to be careful with taking stress leave in the work place. In my experience most people who go on it never return to the company.

I was under a lot of stress during my pregnancy & I did some research & found that everyday types of stress including work stress are not dangerous to your baby. The kind of stress that is dangerous is the loss of a partner (death) or a traumatic experience of some kind like a car accident or being attacked etc.

Try to not stress, but I know that's hard. Once you've had your bub your job just wont matter like it does now. By the way, your brain does not always go back to "normal" after giving birth. My brain is almost as befuddled as it was when I was pregnant & I find my job harder than I did before being pregnant. My mind is just on other things now.