thread: So very Scared...Sorry Long..

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  1. #1
    Registered User
    Add Jakabella on Facebook

    Nov 2007
    in Love!
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    Unhappy So very Scared...Sorry Long..

    Morning,

    I hope eveyone is having a good day.

    I myself am not. I have had to do these tests for my OB as there is a risk that I maybe devaloping high BP - even a chance of pre-eclampsia.

    I am scared out of my mind right now - I feel as though I am letting down this little miracle that we have created. I feel like I am giving up hope when I have not even got the test results back yet.

    I have done all I can for this much loved Bub to grow it nice and strong and health and I feel that my body maybe letting me and bub down somehow.

    I am just having one of those days that my doc described as "in bettween" you know your preg but you cant feel the movments yet and you are feeling more normal - you have times where you "forget" your even preg.

    I know Im preg as my belly is HUGE and I still have MS evey morning - but I dont have movement (that I can def say is movement) my Ob said that it is still a touch early and that I dont need to worry, I just want to feel happy and positive - its taking its toll on me. I am a blubbering mess at home - I try and put on a brave face but inside im just so scared....

    Sorry for the Poor Me post... just looking for some words or advice / support that I know I will get here.

    Thanks for listening
    Love to all
    Kate

  2. #2
    BellyBelly Life Subscriber & MPM

    Feb 2007
    Melbourne
    5,462

    Awww you poor thing. Pregnancy can be such a time of uncertainty and stress at times. I know it's hard not too, but try not to stress about the high BP and pre-eclampsia until you know for sure. If you do have any problems like that, your OB will look after you and make sure you and your bub are safe and well.

    I didn't feel movement with my first DS until I was around 22 weeks pg, so I know what you mean about forgetting you are pg! Once you start to feel lots of kicks it is reassuring to know they are OK. I'm sure you will start to feel your bub moving VERY soon.

    You ARE doing the best you can to create a happy & healthy bub, you can't do any more so don't beat yourself up. Sometimes things don't go 100% smoothly, but you get through, I promise!

    Go and do something today to take your mind of things, even if it's just getting a hot chocolate and a piece of cake.

    You and your bub are going to be just fine. You are doing a fantastic job and you are already halfway there!!

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Add Kazbah on Facebook Follow Kazbah On Twitter

    Sep 2006
    Dandy Ranges ;)
    7,526

    *hugs* awww Kate, that's OK to have a day like that. And you're not letting your miracle down - you're seeking medical help early. That takes a lot of courage!

    Have a good chat to your labs. they'll give you a lick, they'll ask to play and they'll make you laugh. And then when you get the results, if they're all clear then great, if they show something then you and your DH and your OB will be able to plan. Its just while you don't know that its awful.

    So *hugs* and fingers crossed for you.

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Melbourne
    18

    Hi,

    I hope everything is going okay.

    With DS my bp started to creep up at about 22 weeks but fortunately stayed there til 32 weeks when I was placed on meds. He was delivered at 36.5 weeks a full 6pound 11 and only needed help for his low blood sugars (I had GD).

    I know what stress it places upon you emotionally. I'm now 27 weeks with DD and so far so good but the fear hasn't gone away -it's just managed.

    Please just try to hang in there and stay positive - meditate if you can or do some yoga if allowed -they really do help with the anxiety and do actually help keep your BP down. The docs will do whatever they can to get you guys through safely.

    Though it's hard not to feel guilt, whatever happens is really beyond your control. That is what I learnt from my first pregnancy - I went in thinking I could control things (because I'm a control freak) but no, this is one of those times in your life where you have to let go. Trust your body to a point, and then yourself to see any signs and then the doctors to take care of you. That's all you can do. Things sound like they are already hard enough without you having to beat yourself up.

    I really hope it all settles down and things progress well.

    Take-care
    Liv

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Feb 2007
    126

    Pregnancy can be very stressful - particularly for such a wanted baby. Part of me wishes I didn;t know nearly as much as I do. A little knowledge is a drama.

    Pre-ecampsia can be scary but it is also manageable....worse case scenario you deliver your baby a little early some time down the track.

    livgoesagain is right about letting go of control. what will be will be.you are doing everything you can to bring your adored baby safely into the world and that's all anyone can do. And breathing exercises or a pregnancy yoga class could be a great idea

    And of course, you can always come here to vent. We are here to listen and absorb all your fears! One thing about these sites is that someone else will always gone through what you have!

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Ballarat, VIC
    176

    Hun,

    I know exactly how you feel... I know.. How could anyone know "exactly"

    I do because I was diagnosed with Pregnancy Induced Hypertension (High Blood Pressure) at 14 weeks pregnant.

    I have been in and out of hospital and had my fair share of tests for my life time in the last few months.

    I am now 32 weeks pregnant.. My baby is still growing well considering I was diagnosed with Pre-Eclampsia a month ago.

    He is doing really well!

    Myself on the other hand... Have spent most of this time either in bed, on the couch, in the bath/shower or at the doctors/hospital.

    But I know! That I have done everything I can to keep my BP down and Its working!! My Bp is still high.. but im on medication and strict bed rests and lots of hospital visits to make sure my baby has the best chance of staying in "hotel mum" a little longer.

    I was scared too.. I have cried a few rivers and relied on alot of people to get me here.. but im here.. 32 weeks 2 days... only 7 weeks 5 days until my baby is 40 weeks gestation!

    Doctors said I would lose him at 16 weeks (had a major bleed)
    Doctors said that I would be in hospital before 18 weeks
    Doctors said I would give birth to him before 22 weeks

    Doctors arn't always right.

    Just take things easy,
    Rest,
    Drink lots of water,
    Do things that make YOU HAPPY,
    Get someone else to do the housework,
    Read a few books,
    Watch a few movies,
    Get the internet hooked up so u can lay in bed,couch or on a recliner with ur FEET UP!

    If you need ANYTHING... I'm here.

    xox

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Melbourne
    832

    To make you feel better - I didn't feel my DD move (kick) until 28 weeks! Of course Iw as worried but she was fine. I didn't even feel flutters hardly at all and when I did they started around 24 weeks. Also if you have had scans that are fine then you're risk of anything going wrong is VERY tiny (my ob said 1% risk). Hope this helps

  8. #8
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    Nov 2007
    in Love!
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    Thanks so much Trish, Kazbah, Livsgoesagain & Maybe Baby!!

    I knew that I would get some words of encoragment and love form you ladies!! I know that I have to let go - its very hard to do!! after my 1st preg eneded in MC I have felt so much presure and stress over this one going well!! Maybe I have given myself the High BP! This is my first reading of High BP so I guess my OB is getting all the tests done early so then we have the best chance of catching what ever it maybe and getting the correct care that we will need.
    My mum spent the lat 2 moths in hospital with me due to her BP being so high - and here I am so I know that both mum and bubs can get through high BP and be ok! If thats what it took for me to have this baby that we love so much then I would do it!!

    I have been reading about PE - bad idea! They really focus on the bad things and not that many ladies deliver a healthy bub... well Im assuming that they do! Im hoping that some lovely ladies in here that have had PE will share their stories with me.

    Trish - I am taking a day off tomorrow and so is DH - so we may head to Melbourne and have a nice day out together! I might even spring to get my nails done as a nice treat!

    Kazbah - yeah my labs do cheer me up! I was upset last night and my female lab came up and licked my tears away like she was saying - its ok!

    Liv - Thanks for sharing your storey re hogh BP - gives me hope that I can catch it early and manage it!

    Thanks again ladies!!
    Kate

  9. #9
    Registered User
    Add Jakabella on Facebook

    Nov 2007
    in Love!
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    Thanks Banx!!
    You ahve really given me hope!!
    I am sorry that you have been through all that!! Must have been hard! But you are here and still going!!! Congrats to you for that! If bed rest is what it takes then I will do just that! May loose the house coz cant pay the morgage - but a nice healthy bub will be so worth it!!
    Thanks sweetie - i will def let you know how I go!
    Keep well.

    Jordie - I am just so bloody impatiant!! I just want it all now!! I know I have felt things that are not usual in my tum so I assume its bub - but its hard when I have never felt it b4!!

    Kate

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Dec 2007
    Ballarat, VIC
    176

    The worst thing to do is read up about PE...

    I haven't read anything.. The doctors tell me what I need to do/ not to do and I just listen to them.

    Best thing to do is that when you feel tired or feel weak... Sit down/lay down.. Stop whatever your doing.. whether it be housework, getting out of bed... anything!

    My puppy dog has looked after me too so i can imagine your labs doing that

    He always loves cuddles and follows me around to make sure im ok

    You will be fine!! Just take things slow and try not to stress about things. Everything will happen... Things take time.. Just make sure u rest.. cos that makes "hotel mum" more enjoyable and bub wont want to leave!!

  11. #11
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    S.E Suburbs, VIC
    698

    KaferGirl.
    Re: Maybe losing your house, check your contract and with your bank because they have special clauses that accomodate for people who lose their job or become ill and unable to work. Good luck and i hope all goes well with your next BP test

  12. #12
    Registered User

    Jan 2008
    Melbourne
    18

    Re reading up on preeclampsia it can be really frightening. I've done it both pregs and scared myself stupid especially when they say things such as preeclampsia being the leading cause of blah, blah, blah. Read it all!

    Most important thing to remember is that the statistics many of these sites look at are international. They are trying to achieve more awareness of the problem in order to get more research done on the matter by grabbing numbers (though accurate) not necessarily reflecting what is actually going on in our country.

    The rates of preeclampsia are extremely high in developing countries such as many African nations and in many of the countries the health care is virtually non-existent so of course, bad outcomes are higher. It skews the numbers.

    I'm seeing a psych recommended by my ob to manage my anxiety which seems to be causing my BP to go up at appointments (i'm already on BP meds for chronic hypertension). He is really pushing the fact that bad PE outcomes here really are few and far between - yes they happen but quite rarely because the doctors come down so heavily on it.

    i understand everything you're saying and empathise wholly. It's a **** lot to be lumped with especially when you're finally having the opportunity to get your longed for baby. Just keep everything in perspective especially when reading about PE and PIH. When books say that with good care, PE is rarely a huge problem, believe it! (though i know that's easier said than done)

  13. #13
    Registered User

    Feb 2005
    Sydney
    2,597

    Kafer girl

    I could have written your post when I was pregnant with Julia... She is now healthy 22 month hold.

    Promise me you will step AWAY from the computer reading about PE. ITs not good to read all this information.

    You mentioned a psych, are you taking meds for anxiety? I see a psych as I developed PND after Julia's birth heres some quick tips she has given me that will help you in the mean time:

    1. breathing techniques - when you feel your anxious level going up close your eyes, count in 1-2-3 then count out 1-2-3 do this at least 10 times and slowly.

    2. Do you like Yoga? its a great way to break the anxiety rising and brings the anxiety level back down. I have a yoga and pregnancy CD I can send you to try if you like just pm me.

    3. Have you tried meditation? not the long kind, just real nice relaxing kind just with music and picturing yourself in a relaxing place?

    4. Listen to music, not TV, TV doesnt relax you however relaxing music will

    5. Have a nice shower or warm bath

    6. drink lots and lots of water

    7. Exercise - great its changes the thought processes in the brain as it brings in endorphins, highly recommended to me as I have anxiety and PND.

    Can I ask what was your BP reading? I actually finished work at 24 weeks due to my high BP and stress, best thing I ever did. This time around Im not working as I have a toddler and am pregnant again.

    I didnt feel Julia move until 22 weeks and this bub around the same time try to to worry.

    Big hugs

    Bel
    xxx

  14. #14
    Lucy in the sky with diamonds.

    Jan 2005
    Funky Town, Vic
    7,070

    Oh I second playing with your lovely doggies!

    GL xoxoxoxxo