To tell or not to tell....

[Doodlebug]

We've recently found out we're pg with # 2! This has been about 2 years coming, and a long journey for us.

We're only just pg, I'm talking REALLY early, like just over 4 weeks.

I had a hcg scan on Tues and my levels were 480, so that's a good sign. But I have had 1 mc in the past.

We've been doing fertility treatment that both sets of parents have known about and been very supportive of. We're supposed to have more appts coming up to discuss moving from IUI to IVF but don't need that now.

My problem is this, both parents have been asking about the upcoming, now non-existent, appt. I feel really uncomfortable lying to them but I don't think I'm quite ready to tell them about being pg yet. Especially my mum as she has the biggest mouth in the West!!!

What would you do???? This is driving me crazy......

[Carrie]

Congratulations! So did you fall pregnant naturally or through IUI?
Both my first two were IVF ICSI and of course our family and close friends knew we were doing it so I told them as soon as we knew. Was WAY to excited not to! I figured that even if something went wrong I would need their support anyway, so why not?

[Doodlebug]

Yes, it was through IUI. Our review appt was supposed to be today, the IUI was just a 'fill in' until the appt date!

Hubby is a bit aprehensive to tell anyone, especially after the mc. We didn't tell anyone we were pg before, I actually found it really hard to call mum for support and have the conversation "Hi mum, I was pg, now I've lost it, can you come over?" IYKWIM???

Also, I'm thinking even if this doesn't stick, I still want to be able to get excited!!!

Too hard.....my head hurts!!!!

[GoingtobebiginAsia]

Congratulations!

Can you tell a half-lie and say the upcoming appointment has been "postponed". I'm not sure of the timeframe for these things, but will that buy you another month? Maybe you could ask your Mum not to talk about the apointment beforehand because you just need to relax so your in the best frame of mind for the next stage.

[JordieC]

I would tell my parents but make it VERY clear that they are not to say a thing - they would respect that and I'm sure yous would too. Best wishes!

[Doodlebug]

GoingtobebiginAsia - thanks! Think that's what we'll do! That way I'm not totally lying, should buy us enough time to at least get the first scan done at 7 weeks.

JordieC - tried that last time, we only told them at 10 1/2 weeks, mum had 1 1/2 weeks to keep her mouth shut and couldn't manage it! I had random friends of hers come up to me to congratulate me and an Aunty I really wanted to tell myself. She doesn't mean harm or to be nasty, she just gets excited

[Loupy]

Hi Sharon, Congratulations! Of course you can get excited! We're all in the same boat in the beginning... nervous, apprehensive, but so excited! (....until you get sick haha!)

I'm 8 weeks pregnant tomorrow and we told our families last weekend. Both my sisters and my best friend all asked me the week before if I was pregnant. I spend so much time with all 3 of them, it was really difficult to make excuses and lie to them. Actually I still feel bad about it and they all know now.

I had some spotting/bleeding before we told the families and it occurred to me how awful it would be to have to make the "I need you, I've just miscarried" phone call. They would have been devastated that they weren't there for me straight away and it would have been so much for them to take in, all in one sentence. I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your mum last time.

If you're not quite ready to tell at the moment, I would do as Goingtobebiginasia suggests.. just put them off track for a month or so. We waited until we had a 7 week scan and saw a heartbeat so that we knew things were okay to that point.

Very best of luck!