Unplanned pregnancy.

**m+w=peanut** · December 27th, 2013, 12:03 PM

Hi everyone, I need to write this all down as I am so unsure what to do and am hoping maybe by putting it out there might help. Hubby and I have 2 beautiful children DS is 4 and DD is 2 in March and we have just found out were pregnant, only 2-3 weeks.
We had both said we only wanted 2 children but about 5 mins after DD was born I said I could have another lol. I knew it wouldn't be a while before we would talk about it(after the terrible 2's have left the building) but now im in this situation im not sure what to do or if I even want a 3rd bubba. My mum is very catholic and I was raised to believe that abortions are completely wrong but over the last few years I have changed my views to pro choice. I am just not sure what my feelings would be after if I went ahead and terminated the pregnancy.

**~clover~** · December 27th, 2013, 01:13 PM

There is a private forum you can apply to join here. You might feel more comfortable & less judged posting in there

All I can say is that it is your decision, no one elses x

**Reet** · December 27th, 2013, 01:43 PM

Ask yourself, in the long run what decision do you think you will regret the most??

And also, sometimes I think we have to accept that at the end of day we cant control everything and even though something isnt in 'our plans' right now, there might be bigger things planned for us and you just have to go with it!
In saying that though, the decision is only yours and your husbands to make and you both have to be happy with it. Good luck!

**PumpkinZulu** · December 27th, 2013, 01:53 PM

Termination is a difficult choice. There's the misconception that because someone chooses to end a pregnancy, that there isn't a huge amount of grief and guilt associated with it. There is.

It's a very personal choice. Obviously nobody else can make that choice for you, but we can help you talk it all through and work out what you feel.

Unplanned pregnancies can be really hard. My second daughter was unplanned and initially very unwanted. Termination was a very real possibility for a while. She's a year old now and I cannot imagine my life without the joy she's brought to it.

**HotI** · December 27th, 2013, 02:41 PM

Termination is a difficult choice. There's the misconception that because someone chooses to end a pregnancy, that there isn't a huge amount of grief and guilt associated with it. There is.

not always, for some women the outcome is right for them and so guilt just isn't there.

take some time to let the news settle in before you make any decisions, my initial reaction to my #3 surprise was different a week later, and student again the next week.

take care

**PumpkinZulu** · December 27th, 2013, 02:57 PM

You're right, not always. But I'm talking about the misconception that it's an easy, quick choice. It isn't always. But in the same breath, sometimes it's not a huge upheaval emotionally either. That's okay too.

**BlackRose** · February 5th, 2014, 05:22 PM

I am/was in the same boat as you hun. As you can see, we decided to keep this baby... as soon as I even thought about getting a termination I thought about how this was a brother or sister for the boys, and I just couldn't go through with it. DH supported me either way, but it has taken him a LONG time to get used to the idea of a third. Every so often we have the whole.. "oh geeze what are we getting ourself into"... moments, but I just know deep down having this baby was the right thing for our family.

Good luck with your decision.

**m+w=peanut** · February 5th, 2014, 05:27 PM

Thanks everyone. I guess I wasnt meant to make the decision as on the day of my counselor appointment I started having a miscarriage. Thanks everyone for your support

**nyigi** · February 5th, 2014, 05:40 PM

Oh hugs. Yes I guess you weren't meant to have to make the decision.
Best wishes for you and I hope you gain some peace after this very difficult time.