What do you wish you had been told about pregnancy/birth ?

[enigma]

Hi Girls

Just out of interest ( and impatience and boredom ) .. I was wondering whats the one thing you werent told or didnt realize about pregnancy/childbirth that you wish you had been told ?
For me it would probably be the really bad hormonal mood swings , i NEVER realized they would be this bad..my poor DH

[cazoraz]

Sorry TMI - I wish I had known how much it hurt to go to the toilet after giving birth and to not put off that first bowel movement but get it over and done with! I learnt my lesson and had supre strong pelvic floor muscles for the birth of my second child, much easier!

[Sal]

Tick, tick, tick, yes I wish I'd been told all those things! Also, I wish someone had told me how your anus gets all stretched out, and after birth you have no flatus continence for a while (nice term for a VERY embarassing thing)!! As I was being stitched up, I was completely unable to stop myself from farting as the OB was leaning in to suture me...

[WelshGirl]

Tick, tick, tick, yes I wish I'd been told all those things! Also, I wish someone had told me how your anus gets all stretched out, and after birth you have no flatus continence for a while (nice term for a VERY embarassing thing)!! As I was being stitched up, I was completely unable to stop myself from farting as the OB was leaning in to suture me...

OMG that made me laugh! As I was being given a spinal for my caesarian, I started to fart uncontrollably because I couldn't control my muscles! But what could I do!!!! I just didn't know where to look, especially as the anaethatist was totally gorgous!!!!!!!!!!! (perhpaps that wasn't the time, but hey). lol

I wish I had been a little more prepared for the 'baby blues' which are said to last about 5 days post natal. I couldn't stop crying!

[Tobily]

Wish someone had sat me down and drilled into my head the true meaning of sleep deprivation....
When people tell you to enjoy your sleep when your pregnant you think "yeah yeah....I used to go out partying and no sleep for days....I'll be fine"
WRONG!
Nothing prepares you for that paralysing realisation when your baby is about 2 weeks old that you are a zombie...and the sickening thought that you don't have a CLUE when you will get another full nights sleep.
God I'm depressed just remembering that now

[Bathsheba]

I have to think back 12 years to when i was pregnant with my 1st... I recall wishing somebody had told me that pregnancy affects nearly every part of your body and that is was NOT just life-as-usual with a big bump for a tummy. I didn't know that it affected your nose (snuffly/drippy/itchy) and i certainly didn't know that it affected your brain!!! yes! mood swings and a decreased ability to concentrate and thing logically. I thought i was turning into a total nutcase! But since making these surprise discoveries I have been prompted to do a lot of reading during each subsequent pregnancy. There's so much women just don't talk about... books/the internet still seem to be the only way. Only problem is that there still seems to be a bit of a taboo attitude about trying to warn newly pregnant women. I often feel like either a wet blanket or scaremongerer when i try to gently let women know about some of these unspoken realities. That's IRL mind you... things are way more open in here That's why I love it so much!

OooooooH yes!!!! so true flea!!!! hope all first timers heed you on that one!

[Angel]

ROFPMSL Sal! Glad I wasn't the only one!! Thank god I was still sucking away on the gas at the time so I was only mildly embarassed.

[Kerensa]

Umm i would say the pain of labour. I had a long labour with DD and i wish i knew more of watch to expect and what to do. I had no idea that I had to push to get her out, i thought she just slid out! And the pain releif and the way I was treated by the drs.

ALso i wasnt told anything after DD they didnt show me how to breastfee or change a nappy or wash her. Was very upset.

Pregnancy wise, probably wished i had been told more about vitamins and best things to eat and what not to eat etc.

[~Jo~]

The sleep deprivation was the big thing. I can remember when I had my first and I had changed her fed her put her back to bed settled down and then it started all over again....i can remember thinking I might never sleep again!

Jo

[nadia]

Definatley sleep deprivation.

But also when Nyah was about 6 weeks old, she bleed on her vagina, and after I panicked and cried for what seemed like a year-they told me it was part of my hormonal changes and all the hormones going through my body, but you'd think that they'd tell you something like that, I mean seeing blood coming out of her gina like that scared the absolute crap outta me.
The one person I called after the hospital was my Dad and he said " oh yeah that's normal, sometimes" WTF how do you know, and his reply um possum I have a daughter!!!!!

[Tracey]

Yep the first 2 weeks of being a zombie.... There really is no other word for it... Then when you wake up & realise the baby didnt wake all night & you jump out of bed go flying into bubs room (I cant sleep with a baby snuffling in my room) & bubs is sound asleep, but because you went flying in you've now woken them up! :throw_computer: (desperately wanted to use that one).

Hmm, never had the farting problem, but I am a :woman:!! PMSL..

I think the biggest shock for me & anyone that knows me is how I went from a crazy, partying, irresponsible, fast car driving, maniac, to a over protective, drive at the correct speed, love my early nights in bed & homely Mum!!! It really was a total turn around from whom I had been to who I am now.. I love me now so much more than me before!!

[Magic]

That BF is not a god-given TALENT but a learnt skill.

[nadia]

I 2nd that one Magic.

[Lea13]

Ohhh this is a great thread!!!

I just may have to come back and post in a few weeks!! (hopefully less!!)

Everyone talks about the sleep thing but I'm not sure you can really prepare for that right? It's definately going to be fun lol!

[Bathsheba]

Maybe the best way to prepare for sleep deprivation is to rest as much before labour... have the expectation that it will most likely happen and that it will be hard... maybe write down somewhere the words: "it won't last forever" and "sleep when your baby sleeps and if you don't feel like sleeping at least put your feet up and DON'T weed the garden (or do anything that will exhaust you further). Make sure you read this piece of paper when you are in the grips of despair at 3am every morning and you feel like the only person awake at that hour!

[Magic]

Actually here is another one........read just enough to know what is happening to your body re the pg, be fully informed about your birthing options and don't put expectations around it and concentrate on your parenting skills.

It doesn't matter how bubs is born (albeit healthy etc) it is how you parent for the rest of your life.

[Lea13]

That's some good advice Bath! All the other girls due in May have been having distrupted sleep for months now and here's little old me still sleeping a solid 7 - 10 hours a night!! I'm certainly in for a shock soon enough I think!!

[pollyanna]

I would have to add.

That it totally wrecks your body.!! I may have reconsidered if i had known that. I do adore my kids. i don't adore my body. i used to be a size 10 and live in surf gear and wear bikinis. now i'm a size 16,i have massive stretch marks all over. Still after 6 years they are really thick and purple.I cant wear enough clothes and have become a big time prude in the bedroom. THE LIGHTS MUST BE OFF!!!lmao. But now i look yucky....boohoo

Pauline