Worried!

[kellym]

I've probably had one of the hardest weeks of my life in terms of work last week and I'm really worried that it's affecting our baby! I'm 13 and a half weeks pg and the stress and pressure I've had this week has been really intense. I can handle it but it's definitely affecting me and I've had quite a few teary nights because of it. If I wasn't pg it wouldn't be an issue but because I am, I'm really starting to worry that it's going to harm our bub and obviously, thats the most important thing to me at the moment. The biggest problem I'm facing is that I am earning pretty good money and being pg, would not be able to find anything else right now (and that would probably stress me even more). We really do need the money too so I think I just need to get on with things and remember there's only 5 months of work to go. I just have to stop letting certain people get to me and do the best I can under the circumstances! I just don't want to keep going if it's harming our baby - does anyone know the risks of a stressful job on an unborn baby??

Thanks so much for listening. I'm really quite worried and am thinking about calling my ob on Monday morning - I just don't want to be running to him every week and need to relax a little.

Kelly xxx

[christy]

Kelly *hugs* I had a really hard time with work when I was pregnant with Matilda. I think the first thing you need to do is some relaxing things when you aren't there. So hot baths, swimming, whatever it is that relaxes you. Take time each day to relax yourself before & after work if you can so that when you encounter the stress at work, you aren't as affected by it. I had a real hard time with a particular work collegue during my pregnancy last time & I had to cut down hours because it was way too stressful for me to deal with for 40 hours a week. You may have to make some decisions in the coming months, is your work flexible? Can you go down in hours? Will working 4 days a week help your stress levels? I hope you find some answeres soon.

[kellym]

Thanks so much Christy,

It certainly helps just talking about it!!!! I think I'm probably overreacting a little - being pg has really messed with my emotions and my brain!! Unfortunately, work isn't flexible at all and I've actually had to take on more in the last couple of months!! I'm a manager, so it's all expected of me and they're not at all understanding of my pg and my needs. I feel like they believe it's not their fault that I'm pg and it shouldn't affect my role. They make me feel like I can't use my pg as an excuse for not getting things done but it's really restricting me - I'm tired all the time, can't concentrate as much and am getting really forgetful. In my role, it's not ideal but I can't help it and I can't explain that to them. I keep hearing comments like "It's not an illness, you're just pregnant" - just getting to me at the moment.

Will definitely start finding ways to relax though - I like the idea of swimming, might give that one a go!

Thanks again for listening!

Kelly xxx

[Ozziehoffy]

I keep hearing comments like "It's not an illness, you're just pregnant" - just getting to me at the moment.

Ooooh that comment just makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up and makes me want to slap the person!! My mum actually said that to me one morning cos I was still in bed at 8:30am and didn't answer the phone when she called...lol.

I think one of the harder things also Kelly is trying not to stress over being stressed! That's where I face problems sometimes..stressing that something which has stressed me is going to hurt the baby so then I stress more cos I'm stressing and it's a horrible cycle! I hope that this gets better for you - Christy had some great ideas about helping to destress.

[AnyDream]

I keep hearing comments like "It's not an illness, you're just pregnant" - just getting to me at the moment.

Hello, That sort of attitude is not only unhelpful it also possibly verges on the boundary of harrassment. Is there someone at work (in a position of authority) who is a mentor or ally for you? If so, perhaps confide in them and find out if they have some suggestions for tackling this situation. If not, your workplace may have diversity support ppl, might be worth having a chat to one of them. Of course you need to take care of yourself, that might mean reducing your hours in the short term, pulling a sicky or two (any doctor who hears how stressed you are will happily write a certificate) and requiring the workplace to meet your needs for a bit.

I really hope this situation improves for you, please don't blame yourself, and yes pregnancy is hard work too (think of it this way - you're currently holding down two jobs !

[Mother Goose]

Kelly. It's awful when work stresses you out. I work in a highly stressful environment as well (and it's about to get worse *sigh*) but I have learnt a few things over the past three years that have helped me - I'm not sure what you do so not sure if they will help or are possible but it might help... I get up and go for a walk - not just inside either, sometimes around the block. If I can sense I'm starting to stress I'll go make myself a cup of tea and leave it in the kitchen, go to the loo (even if it's just to splash water on my face), go back and finish making my tea then slowly wonder back. I have a CD player at work so I stick some relaxing music on. I'm lucky that my boss is very supportive and flexible (to a certain extent) and I am able to (and don't have a problem in doing so) say that I need time out or that xyz is stressing me out and need it to be fixed. Being able to identify what exactly is causing the stress is important because then it can be fixed. If it's too much work they can share it around, if it's someone causing you grief, they can be spoken to. But for me, the big thing is being able to dictate my hours. I only work two days at the moment and work is perfectly fine with me saying I need to swap my days if I'm struggling. Have you had a chat with the boss to let them know how you're feeling? They might let you reduce your hours or work from home if that is an option. But regular breaks and telling yourself it is "just work" should help out. There are some relaxation exercises you can do at work like deep breathing and visulisation that should help as well. Definatly have a chat to your Ob though.

MG

[sasha]

Also you might find as you get more into second trimester that you're not so tired - that was certainly the case with me. The fatigue alone made me weepy, let alone the hormones!! Not to say that I'm completely unweepy now but generally I feel much better since about 14-15 weeks, and much more energetic.

Do you have the opportunity to take a lunch break out of your workplace? If you can at least get away for a few minutes during the day that could help - even a brief walk outside can just recharge you a bit and you feel like you can cope better. Hope things start looking up for you soon.

[CaughtGypsy]

Kelly,

Sounds really tough! I have been in two different very stressful job last time and this time. I think women (on the whole) cope so well that people expect us to always cope well. As for those comments

It's not an illness, you're just pregnant

although the statement is true the intention is not. I had comments like that last time and eventually used to throw back 'so's being a man' as they all came from a group of three guys. It shut them up pretty quickly. I always said it with a smile, so they never knew if I was being nasty or making a joke. One tried the equity card back once and I warned him to think very carefully, but it would be fine if he went ahead - still with a smile. It took about a week, but shut them up. Maybe you could come up with something similar???

The tiredness should pass with the first trimester; although, this time it took a biut longer for me. Yoga helped (I found a pregnancy vid).

As far as effects on the baby - I have no idea. My DS is a fairly stressy and difficult bub, but that could just be my genes LOL!

CG

OH - Ring your OB whenever you want - that is what you pay them the big bucks for!!!

[EllyBoo72]

I was under alot of stress at work too, when preg with DS....I couldnt wait to leave. The stress didnt seem to affect bubs, but he has always had a bit of an attitude!! So who knows if it affects them. I'd say not tho, cos our hormones alone are enough to stress us out IYKWIM!! Perhaps something like meditation or accupuncture may help you. I would speak to your OB, and see what he suggests. Good luck, try not to worry.....there could be far more worse things to affect your baby than your emotions. Give it right back to them at work...You have an excuse...Your raging hormones LOL!!!