Pregnancy after Long Term TTC #2 - 2009

murph hun - can i just start by saying i wish i was there to give you those huge hugs you need - and then say your GP is appalling!!!!

a 1:88 chance means there are 87 chances thta all is fine - saying people terminate for those stats is purely scare mongering and your GP needs to be slapped upside the head for that kind of behaviour.

whether you choose to have the amnio or not is entirely your call and i want you to know we'll be here to support you. i will be honest - my chances for DS weren't as high as yours - but still significantly higher than we anticipated (i'm only 28ffs!). we talked at length about it - what to do, did we go ahead with the tests, did we wait it out. we made a decision to wait it out. we decided we could cope with the notion of a child with a disability like downs having grown up wtih an aunt with a disability very similar. but it really does mess with your head big time!

i feel for you hun - the next couple of weeks while you and your DH decide what to do testing wise, and what you'll do if you have results that aren't what you anticipate will be very trying. keep in mind though that you DO have 87:88 chance of all being ok. work out whether, after all you've been through, you want to risk m/c for the amnio or whether you believe you could cope with a child with special needs. decide between you what you will do IF your results come back saying your child has downs. as i said, for me personally, it would make no difference as i have grown up with adults and children with special needs - but if you personally had to make that call, what would you do?

please take care of your heart at this time - speak about your experience whenever you need to so that this doesn't become and unbearable burden on your heart. we're here for you hun

BG

Murph, I have no words that could give you the comfort you deserve atm but wanted to give you a :hug: while you and your DH decide what further testing you may carry out.

murph - just letting you know i'm thinking of you at this tough time. i'm so sorry you have to endure this. look after yourself.

jenc - i hope you're feeling better after the fall. it must have been very scary. tho i believe our bodies are very well designed to keep the baby/ies safe, so i'm sure they are none the wiser. take care.

i'll be thinking of all you girls over the next 2 weeks - i'm going on holidays. take care everyone.

love mels xx

Hi Briggsysgirl, Nicole and Mels,

thank you so much for your thoughts (and I felt those hugs and had a big cry with you).

I will start by saying that it's me that needs a slap upside the head for not explaining things as they were. i guess I lost a bit in translation but wasn't thinking clearly. I understand your sentiment BG but in the conversation with my G.P she said all the positive things about the 1 in 88 and the fact that the nuchal fold was good. She only talked about abortion in reply to my holier than though attitude I've had all along about amnio. I said, it's not like anyone would have a termination for DS anyway so what is the point of having amnio. She just explained it how it is, that most women she sees that have the amnio and find out the are positive for DS, they terminate. It was then that I realised that I had a very sheltered view of what it actually was and she told me there was a wide spectrum of defects and abnormalities. My DH is mostly worried that if you have a child that needs all that care, then the worst thing is that when we die (cos we're not young parents), then we leave them in care or something. So there is a lot to consider.

the first thing is that we are booked in to see the person that performs amnio next Tuesday and find out what it involves. As you know, I have a few weeks to work out where to from here, but knowing my stress, I think i am going to have to have the amnio. My G.p said that they take a sample that is from the babies actual skin cells that have shed. they get DNA and run the tests to find out conclusively and even if you decide to keep the baby no matter what, you can be prepared for the rest of the birth with the facts. It's the most selfish feeling in the world wondering whether you want to go through with the birth knowing you may have a severe disability. I know that we would love the child to the end of the earth, but there is so much to consider.

My friend just called and she copped a blubbering mess,s o it's a lot to work through and I don't even have anything conclusive. I think it's just the shock as we've done every work up test for chromosomes before starting ivf and if there were any problems we wouldn't have gone ahead. anyway, I'm jibbering.

You wouldnt know that when I woke up this morning, the first thing I thought was "Is it BGs birthday today?" so I'm sending you my thoughts even if I'm a day either side and I hope your lovely man is home to share with you. Ha ha, so not just 28 anymore hey?

:birthday2: Happy Birthday Briggsysgirl :birthday2:

Hope you have (had) a nice day and Gremlin is playing nice:partysmiley::partysmiley::partysmiley:

Oh Murph :hug: I dont know what to say other than I am thinking of you. Its such a hard thing to process and as my scan draws near, I too am now stressing about the result. I dont know what I would personally do in your situation. Please take care.

Jen - So sorry to hear about your fall. I hope your ok. It would be a VERY scary experience.

BG - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! :birthday2: Hope you have a good night :D

Hello to everyone else.

Enjoy your weekend all.

Take care,

Tania

Hi ladies,

Jenc77 that would of been so scary I hope you are feeling better now. I would of wanted them to do a scan just to check but I guess they are the experts.

Me+him+bub Is it exciting when you can feel them moving around its like them telling you it that they are still in there. They tend to move more when you are ready to go to sleep its a great feeling.:dance::dance:

Murph Im so sorry you are going through that and your hubby is away. I just wanted to give you a big hug :hug::hug::hug: We have our scan next week and please don't think that your story has scared me off in anyway it has only made me more aware of what I should really be thinking about, Your right we don't really think about it until it happens to you. I think pregnancy stuffs with your head and to have this hunging over your head as well I can't even imaging it. We are all thinking about you.:grouphug:

MissMagpie I to am going privat but might have to go to womans and childrens if the babies come eariler then 34 weeks as private don't cater for premmies. I to have been feel tired but I think its settling down now as Im not feeling to bad and My cold is gone. WE MADE IT TO 12 WEEKS

I hope everyone is feeling great

Dear Murph - I'm sorry that you need to even think about the amnio. Just know that whatever you decide will be the right thing. If it was me - I can honestly say that I would have had the amnio. Don't be afraid to say what you are thinking - You will have our support no matter what decisions you make. Thinking of you.
Nic
x

Murph - with your amnio, ask if they are able to tell you if it's full downs, or mosaic downs if you get a positive - it probably doesn't make much difference, but the implications long term for an individual with full downs is much different to mosaic downs. for those that aren't aware - when a child is conceived with downs, often the embryo develops one faulty cell with the extra chromosome, rather than all of them being impacted. it may be at the five or 8 cell stage.... you then have 1/5 or 1/8 cells impacted - as the baby then develops, the impact of those faulty cells is much less on the individual than if all cells are impacted (hope that makes sense - very tired BG here!) - it may help you murph, or it may not. i understand about you not being young parents and being concerned about the long term impact on yourselves and on your child. it is now very common for even the most severe downs cases to be able to be integrated into mainstream schools and to have fulfilling lives. please dont' take this as me trying to influence you though hun - just my take on it due to having grown up with an Aunt with disability similar to downs, and associating with many others that went to her special developmental school with her and who have now become members of society working in jobs etc...

thanks for the bday wishes ladies - best be going to change my sig!

i'm so tired tonight - didn't sleep well last night (DH got home at about 3 this morning and i didn't sleep well before he got home, then bloody BH kicked in when i rolled over when he climbed into bed!). woke up way too early cos the other driver had to pick up DH's truck this morning, had brekkie, spent an hour driving to hospy, an hour and 20 minutes there getting monitored and doing an advanced tour of the birthing suites and things, then killed hours at mum's with my 4.5 year old niece clinging to me like a koala while DH went shopping. think i need an early night tonight!!



ahhh, off to increase my age in my sig - how sad!

Happy Belated Birthday BG :happybirthday:
Glad to hear that your DH is home....so have a great Birthday weekend!!

AFM, off to my last Ante Natal class today and had our last fortnightly visit with OB yesterday so we are starting weekly's from next week.....
......Not too long now BG...we are nearly there...

Jen - Hope you're okay, I"m sure the baby is fine, they are very well protected in there. My dog jumped right on my belly earlier on and everything was fine, but I worried too.

Murph - I's so sorry that you have to go through this, I really am. We are all thinking of you and please come on here and talk anytime you want and about anything; you will not be judged. Please remember that the it is a ONE in NINETY odd chance, so that stats are on your side for sure.

Happy birthday BG!!!!! :dance: I remember turning 29 to 30 and I was terrified, but now I am 39 going on 40 and can't wait! Bring it on! Quite amazing really.

Hello to all, I'm off to Melbourne this morning to see my Mum for Mother's day, and let everyone rub my belly!

murph - first id like to say that what you are feeling is NORMAL! i personally hate stats! as they often mean NOTHING! the nuchal fold is the more reliable than the bloodtest as they only look for a marker in the blood that MAY indicate abnormalities, some women always have these markers and nothing happens, its just a stat that studies have shown are often in conjunction with a chromosonal abnormality, ive seen women that have had 1:20 and nothing is wrong! its sooooo hard not to stress but if u can and you do get the amnio please try not to think the worst until all the pieces come together. a study came out recently that showed even positive amnios have been wrong and one in a hundred aborted babies due to probable downs actually were fine! i hope anything i have said hasnt offended you but dr's often dont tell you the FULL story and the big picture. Unfortunatley some babies are born with these complications so it does happen but in the end its your choice what u do if it comes to that. I wish all the best and hope you keep us updated. xoxoxoxo

Hi everyone,

thank you all so much for your comments. It's an amazing place to be when you really need to talk and as usual the variety of different opinions and experiences helps to keep me balanced. I get a bit choked up by the support and I back off a bit but please know that I take on every one of your thoughts. I'm booked in to have a chat with the amnio people on Tuesday (not sure if i've said that already) and DH is coming home early tonight so that's good.

I also wanted to say, JenC, I'm sorry I haven't mentioned your fall before now, but i have been thinking of you and hope the shock didn't last too long. You must have had a huge fright, I can't imagine taking a tumble like that. I have a lighter story of falling over the other day, I stood on my spoodle's little foot in big chunky sandals and she screamed, frightened the hell out of me, I pulled away, stumbled backward and fell A over T onto the surprised and very excited cattle dog behind me. I wish I had that on camera. sorry to make light but the fear was there for me too, before the laughter and lots of doggie cuddles. Poor Charlie, had no idea why I had done that to her foot and George thought it was the best fun ever having me sit on him (and Charlie crying):D

BG, do you ever slow down girl? :juggle: I hope somewhere in that busy day, you managed to have some fun for your birthday, (or at least some rest).

NicoleS, not long now. I hope you are comfortable in your last weeks and not too eager to reach the finish line.

Nixon, great to hear from you and I hope all is going wonderfully well with Asher.

Happy Mothers Day to all the Earth Mothers and all the pg mothers for tomorrow:wiggle:

Lots of love to you all.xox

Just wanted to drop in and say a Happy Mother's day to all you soon to be Mummy's. Hope you all have a wonderful day and just think - next Mummy's Day you will be holding your precious bundles in your arms!

Janie xxx

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY :loveshower:

:bellyrubs: :bellyrubs: TO ALL STILL GROWING
AND ALL THE MUMS ALREADY OUT THERE HOPE YOU ARE GETTING LOTS OF CUDDLES FROM YOUR BUNDLES OF JOY :babyboy: :girl:

I just wanted to pop in to wish you all a special little Happy Mothers Day. I wish you all the very best for the remainder of your pregnancys and look forward to seeing you all "graduate" into the Parenting after LTTC threads ;)

:dance: hope you girls all had a wonderful mothers day.

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. I think it will all be fine. I haven't had any bleeding, so that's all that matters I think :)
Muph, thinking of you too, you lovely thing. Good luck with your appointment with the amnio people tomorrow. You'll know what's best for you. As all the other girls have said, it's only a risk assessment. It's far from diagnostic. I know you must be going through hell though, so thinking you so much.
To all you mummies to be, I hope you had a lovely mother-to-be day! My DH bought me a tiny little Tiffany & Co charm that has mum engraved on it. I bawled my eyes out.
Lots of hugs to all
Jenx

Glad to hear you're feeling ok after your tumble Jen - i managed to fall over last night (well, not fall - i stayed on my feet but damaged every muscle in my body i think!) so i'm feeling very sore and miserable today. DH is going to walk up and see if the local doc is here today just to get BP checked seeing the hospital is so far away - i don't want to panic, but my head hurts like all get up so i'm better being checked i think...