Pregnancy after Long Term TTC - November 2008

Hey Nic, I am in Essex.
If i couldn't get the scan he could have given me the BT referal for Hcg levels. I totally know what you mean and that is kind of what has comforted me in a way...the whole part of have more to think about kind of thing! Yeah he knows about the miscarriage, i was in pain and bleeding when i saw him last and he sent me to the hospital. So he knows and he knew how anxious i was back then.
I will be ok. I am sure my intuition is serving me well and this little bub is here to stay. I am taking my temp everyday and I will continue to do a pg test each week to keep an eye on the strength of the line...rest and be careful. Remain positive etc.
It was the principle more than anything...just got me so upset needlessly, no bedside manner. These first few weeks are nerving and fragile. Anyway.
Hugs to you Nic, thanks so much.You are far from insensitive hun.

Could you try going directly to the hospital? Even if it's just for the BT? I'm sure you have thought of all of these things and I guess it is a part of being a LTTTC'er.

Not sure what exactly we have lost whether it be the innocence or naivety about falling pregnant (that thought that is constantly in the back of every woman's mind - when I'm ready I will fall pregnant and live happliy ever after) but my friends don't understand what it is like. When the ask when is your first scan I say - I've already had 3, my first was at 7 weeks. The kind of look at me like I'm a freak. They all POAS - got it confirmed by the Dr - got to 12 weeks - had the NT scan - carried on. They just assumed that everything would be fine and it would all work out.

It's a funny old world. The things life throws at you.

Take care
X

Hey everyone...have been reading your posts, and just want to say :

early pregnancy is such an anxious time....if we get monitored, we worry about the results, sometimes needlessly....if we dont get monitored we freak out that something is going wrong...it sometimes seems like there is just no solution in the first tri to really bring peace of mind!!

re HCG levels- mine were monitored and it freaked me out because they were rising more slowly than they should..and yes, in my case things didn't end well. But my OB and IVF nurse both openly said women's HCG levels can rise at different rates, and many women with higher or lower than normal levels go on to have perfectly healthy babies. So HCG levels can sort of do your head in, sometimes for no good reason at all

sending my best to you all. good luck with scans etc !

Hey Nixon - I felt that way when pregnant...people didnt understand how anxious I was...even when my HCG levels weren't right they kept telling me to relax, that things would be fine...I just had to chill out...it made me want to scream! (ok, so now I am probably still really emotional and could scream a lot, but that's beside the point :))
I also felt sad I had lost that innocence- do others feel that way too?
I know that when I managed to fall pregnant again, I will be even worse after this recent loss. I wonder how I could ever enjoy the first 12 weeks.

Hippymum- I think you should surely be able to have a BT or scan ! I felt annoyed reading about your GP.

LNB- lol about prodding your boobs...i was exactly the same

I have just kind of accepted that this is the way it is and that there won't be any other way for me. Hey - it could be worse people - it could be 35 years ago when none of this was even possible. I would rather be in the situation I'm in now than what my mother would have had to go through if she was unable to conceive naturally. She would most likely never have been able to have children.

I have a married couple (friends) who the male sounds like he could have the same issues as DH (due to undescended testes). I listen to the talk about their efforts in TTC over the last 4 - 5 months and how they check each month via the good ol' POAS and I really want for them to not be in the same boat as us, but at the same time want to shake them and say "go get tested - don't leave it another year just find out NOW". DH is the same, but is starting to drop a few comments (not in a nasty way) but saying well a SA test wouldn;t hurt you know - just to rule any possible issues out. I'm keeping my mouth shut. They'll get tested when and if they need to and I'll be there to hold their hands if they do need to go down this path, but I don't want to steal that innocence from them earlier than it may (or may not) need to be.

Any-hoo. I am thankful that I live in this day and age and I'm going to start trying to see my IVf jorney in a more positive light from today on.

Possums sweets - I hope you can eventually find a way past your sadness. It may be that you won't enjoy the first 12 weeks, but I think there is a lot to be said for acceptance of situations that you cannot change. A saying I have for myself "I'm am learning to own this and I am trying to let it go".

You may not ever feel comfortable while within the first 12 weeks, but you know it and you also know there is nothing you can do to change it, so hopefully you will be able to learn to let go. Easier said than done, but I find that surrendering can sometime be liberating.

Anyway - Everything above said in love and support to you sweets.

X

Nixon- thanks, it's true, surrendering can be liberating...I am a fairly spiritual person and handing things over to the universe can sometimes lighten the load...i suppose when my turn comes aroudn again, that's what I'll need to do. Acceptance is something I am working on now...I think it will help with some of my anger etc

I think trying to view the IVF journey as a positive opportunity to have children, which we wouldnt have had years ago is certainly a helpful perspective also.

Nic, you are a wise one hun and i think we all strive for the happy ever after...no one could be more dedicated to that journey than the likes of us wicked women.

Possum, you are right...the universe can take a load of our shoulders and that is what i depend on most. I totally understand with the innocence stuff too. I think that is part of what we grieve for LTTTC...that loss of having the BLISS of Pregnancy. That devasted me, wanting to be normal and not having that chance.
We have other stuff though...the complete appreciation of the achievement when i comes our way among other things. I have learnt so much more about my body and health and hopefully the health of our child too. One day at a time i say. I have to remember each day that to get myself here has meant preparing myself to be able to go all the way/sustain the pregnancy....so i will. My hope is the same for all of you.
Love and Belly wishes to you all xoxo

Hippy Mum - My friend Sue runs a charity to help expectant mum's and it's all about being green (kind of) - not really sure how else to describe it but Sue is awesome and I don't know if you have already had a look at her site, but she may have some info on there about how to help you with your Dr/GP situation. Or email her and ask - I'm sure she would be able to help you. PS: She's located in Edinburgh.

BabyGROE - Helping Parents Make Natural Choices

Thanks Nic, Will check it out.
xox

Hi Gals,

Sorry its taken a while to post. Been caught up busy and m/s. So sorry if no personals.

But just want to say went for my scan yesterday and we found out we are expecting TWINS! :leap:

We are so shocked but elated! This is definitely a miracle. As soon as the Prof put the internal probe (the external couldnt see anything), he was like 'OMG there are two'. And then on closer inspection - in 2 different sacs and he was like, did you guys DTD around ovulation time. And we said 'yes'. And he said well one is natural. Couldnt believe it. In our wildest dreams could we ever dream of a situation like this. Its a true miracle and looks like the Saints were on our side! Prof said, well see what a lap and a holiday can do!

Needless to say I am still on cloud 9! We have nicknamed them Crik and Crok. Crik had a HB of 147 and Crok a HB of 150. Prof was happy and said they were perfect and we are booked in for another scan in 2 weeks!

My DH is also over the moon. My mum was with us and she said it was the most amazing thing! Straight away she was saying, Ok looks like you'll have to move house, buy 2 prams / cots. OMG I was still having an outerbody experience!

So yeah that is my news!
I hope you are all well and :bellyrubs: all round!

Love Mon :)

Holy smoke Mon - WOW!!!!

Congrats - I think I'm in shock that is so great.......what a fantastic outcome.

x

Mon

:rofl: Crick and Crok love it (they will always be superbub to me :lol:)

So happy sweet

wtg Mon - well done!

Big Congrats again Mon, I am so very happy for you....and love the names :rofl:

No time for personals, but will jump on again latter tonight as I'm leaving work in 1/2 hour for my 10 week scan so fingerscrossed!!!

Bellyrubs to all:bellyrubs:

Wow Mon! That is amazing... congrats to you and your DH.

Janie xxx

congrats Mon- that's amazing...wonderful news! You and Bel can share notes on twins as you progress along

Mon- What an amazing thing!!! How blessed are you?? Ok, so we are going to be twin buddies!! How exciting. Biggest of congrats to you.

Sorry all, no time for personals..but thinking of you all.

Hugs Bel

Mon- that's amazing - esp. how it came to be. I wish you all the best.

Nicole - good luck with your scan.