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Brunette, they didn't just both use Amber - they both called their daughters Amber Rose... I didn't mind so much with the first one (down in our Newcastle office), but the second one (in the Brisbane office) was a real slap in the face (due to timing and other factors).
Brunette- Thought you might like to know. There's a dog, baby and you session at North West on Nov 13 10am.
Hi girls, this is a quick one. I've been off the airwaves recently, although popping in every few days and trying to keep up. My brother in law and girlfriend are here from UK on hols, I'm still working some days, and my very close elderly friend is in hospital so I've been visiting and sorting things out for him. Makes for a tired wee airline.
All things are good though, have passed the 18weeks mark..yeh for me! Got my big scan booked for 9th Nov, a day before I'm 20 weeks, so that'll be great. I've requested the same sonographer as for nuchal scan as she was great. The nausea has almost vanished and although I was sick again, i've worked out that acidic food makes me vomit....so balsamic vinegar, apples etc.
DH has just started nursery painting and we're getting new turf at the weekend. All busy in the airline household.
Maggiepie, hope you're ok, my email said you'd tried to PM me but inbox was full or something so emptied it.
love to all of you and your tummys xx
Can I say in response to Marcellus, fair enough re use of the word "Nazi" but in my experience "militant" is a fair substitute for what I experienced. I have gone into the ABA store on one other occasion since my confrontation and felt quite upset in the stomach the whole time I was there. I should have been helped not made to feel bad or ill-informed when all I was doing was seeking out information on expressing prior to the birth of my first child - children.
Juniper, that's really hard when it's the entire name you've got your heart set on and someone in your office uses it. Did they know you intended using the name, or was it just a freak coincidence? I'm glad you're still going to use it, albeit with an extra middle name. I'm making more progress on names, cutting a few off the list but still got a loooong way to go.
Thanks, GlennyC, I'll see whether I can make it to NW on the 13th, although with Chrissy's good notes maybe I won't need to :)
Airline, not long till your next US. Good to hear your nauseu has virtually gone. Yay to getting started on the nursery.
I missed your post somehow, sorry, Kelly. Wow to getting weekly checkups at hospital from 32 weeks! I'm 32 weeks today and my OB has not suggested this. My next appointment is on Tuesday so I might ask him about it.:
I dont want to say much on the BF subject as ive noticed fights start way to easily on this forum with that subject, but i will say just because someone volunteers for the ABA doesnt give them the right to make a pregnant woman feel bad when seeking advise. Being pregnant for the first time is so daunting, we come up with these 'plans' thinking of what will suit our lifestyles and trying to do the right thing. Nothing will go to our plans tho im sure. LOL. I can only imagine how much more thinking one has to do when expecting twins!!! Too many women fall into motherhood and seek no advice. And although that might not make them a bad mother, anyone who goes out and reads up and walks into a service looking for help should be just that, helped.
Lairdoz - I've known about the redundancy for over a year unfortunately, and fully expected to not be entitled to maternity leave, but someone in our head office mentioned something and I checked with HR and they're getting back to me (but said it's a possibility)... I'll probably hear something early next week and I'm starting to think it's too good to be true.
Brunette - the scan was just a routine growth one that he does and will be my last scan. My placenta has always been up and to the back, so touch wood it stays up there. Got some cute facial 3D shots, baby's left arm was across it's face over the chin area and it's LEFT FOOT WAS UP AGAINST THE FOREHEAD!! Oh to be that flexible! My OB doesn't predict birth weight but said baby is currently in the 73rd percentile (??) and that 'normal' is 10-90% (what a variance!). According to the measurements he did yesterday the baby is currently 5lb. I've heard they are never accurate. Apparently the next month is the high growth stage and that baby can double it's weight.... um that would mean a 10lb baby and I can't be having a 10lb-er!!
Airline - congrats on 18wks, you must be soooo looking forward to that next scan (it seems so long betweem them!). I hope DH does a fine job on the nursery, sounds like it's all go go go at your place at the moment.
Re BF - I've decided that I'm just going to have confidence that I CAN breastfeed well, and that baby takes to it well, and that I will be able to express within a few weeks so that DH can bond thru bottle feeding. I love that by the time DH gets home from work in the arvo that it'll be baby's grizzly time, and he will get a taste of what I have been doing all day long!
Brunette, I promise to type up those notes this weekend (just not sure exactly when) and pop them on here.
Hope everyone had a great week, and has an even better weekend lined up!
Chrissy.
geez you lot are a bunch of gas bags lol. Took me forever to catch up!
chrissy - fingers crossed you get that mat leave! hopefully they make the decision soon. and taht's an excellent attitude re bf! It's so hard after all we go through to get preg to have faith in our bodies. to quota obama "yes we can'' lol. and if you can't, serioulsy not the end of days.
hi maggie pie - can't wait for the 'best friend' comment... OMG you will have THREE! i'm in awe. we still have one frostie and i'm already mulling over the idea hahaha crazy women!
mitf - my FS advised me to stop BF to help wit the FET as *could be totally wrong* bf can interfere with fertility in terms of hormone levels etc and I also had to go back on metformin and he looked it up - it didn't seem too safe with BF. BUT i do know there is a real debate out there about continuing BF while doing IVF/FET. If you want to continue BF and do a FET, i'd so some research and challenge your FS to reasons for stopping BF. Personally, I didn't have the energy nor the inclination as DS was already self-weaning and after 7 months of battling to BF, i felt huge relief to throw the towel in (well relief after a month-long guilt trip and lots of tears).
RE militatant/nazi ABA people Brunette - I'm sorry you encountered an unhelpful person but i'd really encourage you to not tar all ABA people with the same brush. Before DS was born my non-BFing mother told me to stay away from ABA and used the same words you did. BUt I joined a local group for support when i had heaps of trouble, and all the mums were so lovely and supportive and very very non-judgemental. Some were still BF, others stopped at 6 mths or a year. Some expressed exclusively, some mixed it up. But, I believe it is true that in the first 6-8 weeks you need to get your BF relationship established with bub and milk supply flowing before introducing a bottle. Mind you we HAD to bottle feed (with breast milk) bub for the first 2 weeks because he wouldn't latch and he still got on fine afterwards. (he's been fully on the bottle since about 7 months)
I would serioulsly considering ringing the ABA hotline and asking them. Everytime i've called for help they are so lovely and really, hardly a stiff military uniform in sight! Espeically with twins ... that's a whole new ball game lol. But a lactation consultant told me that we get engorged when our milk comes in because we produce enough milk for 3 babies and it's only after a few weeks of feeding that your body will meet the demand iykwim. yikes! But I couldn't imagine trying to keep up with twin's needs without expressing and using the bottle!
and brunette and Kelly D --- i didn't even think about coming up with TWO unique and gorgeous names lol. and names that go together omg... that's a whole other headache I'm glad i'm not sharing but good luck!
Jacki - I likey Wyatt
and Amber EMily Rose, Juniper is gorgeous! I actually thought "oh what about amber'' just yesterday haha. But Emily is one of the names on the top of our girls list. along with Elizabeth and Lilly. Our conundrum, well my condundrum, is that i don't want a really popular name and Lily is very popular atm. But I just so love it. the other girl's name we like is Milla ... Milla Jean hhmmm
OMG i read this like four times over and can't see again who said they were going of Josheph Alan !!! sorry, sure i'll see it as soon as i post... but just wanted to let you know our boy name is pretty much set in sstone as we love it and DS nearly got named it... Marcus Alan :) alan is my dad's name.
Brunette - We've decided that we are going to find out but this time not tell anyone. We're just going to say we want the surprise this time. I did want to wait and not find out but patience is NOT one of my virtues lol.
kelly - congrats on the scan! i love the pic in your signature.
Okay. now who was calling whom gas bags??? hmmm lol.
Well we are at 6 weeks on Monday :) and today.. my dh is coming home after 2 weeks away... two weeks from hell as DS played up on me big time!!! and i'm sick and sooo tired.
hope you all have a great weekend. and hi to all the othe rladies i didn't get to mention this post.
Grub, I don't tar all ABA women with the same brush. I know there are good and bad everywhere - in every organisation. I had the experience I had. It wasn't pleasant, and I shouldn't have been made to feel the way I did. BTW, I am pretty sure she is not a volunteer but a full-time employee, but it really doesn't matter as far as I'm concerned. When you seek help, that is what you should get. I'm glad you had a good experience with them and they helped you. I'm a subscriber, or member, of the organisation and if I need help I will now contact a BFing consultant directly and avoid this lady because I don't need the stress. So anyhoo, moving on ... are you and DH hoping for a little girl as you already have a son?
Wow, Chrissy, the 73rd percentile, that's great. Although a 10 pounder sounds a little scary :OMG: Our twins are on about the 10th percentile, to be expected though. Our OB is happy with their growth, so we're happy. How funny that bub had her feet up against her forehead. Very flexible. And good for you being confident that you will BF; I like that attitude and I think I might adopt it too. I think you can easily get scared when you hear so many horror stories about babies not latching on, cracked nipples etc.
Jaki, thanks for your support. I appreciate that.
It's nice weather here in BrisVegas. The sun is shining and after the housework is done I'll get out in it. Have a good weekend everyone.
Gee it is like a busy highway in here at the moment!
Chrissie - love the name. I work with an Amber and she is lovely. My niece is called Emily Rose! On the growth scan thing, I think they can be fairly innaccurate. A girl from my mothers group had to go every week with her second bub as they were worried she wasn't growing / big enough. They estimated somewhere around 5 pounds and wanted to deliver early, but mum persisted and gave birth to a healthy 8 pounder?? Go figure.... Good on you with your confidence to BF, you go girl!!
Brunette, have to talked to any other mums of twins who BF / expressed etc?? They might be able to help. Someone wrote that when your milk comes in, you have enough for 3. I think I had enough for about 10! Seriously I looked like a pumped up Dolly Parton. This time I am actually going to take a photo! You will know what I mean when it happens. I worked with a mum who had triplets (and naturally can you believe). She was a supermum and BF all three exclusively until they started solids (like I said supermum). From the start she would express, then attach two (one on each boob) while she bottle fed the third at the same time. You should have seen it, it was quite amazing! She kept this up so I guess it is do-able. Although I do remember her saying that she had to eat alot and keep up her fluids and not get too busy (ha ha) or her milk supply would drop... You will work it out when the time comes but I think you are doing a great job of being prepared and getting some info. Expressing so DH can do the night feed sounds really good to me!....
I had to giggle at you talking about names, reminds me of my first preg. We had lists and more lists and it was such a huge draining task. And we ended up going back to one that we liked the whole time, but for some reason I felt like I had to read the whole book just in case I had missed the perfect name! This time no lists, we have just gone with what feels right. Maybe have a list and wait till you meet your bubbas - their faces might just put a name into your head, they have a way of doing that sometimes.
Airline - I was just trying to PM you as you hadn't posted in a while, wanted to make sure everything was ok. All good with me. Good luck for the scan, are you going to find out what you are having?? Glad your morning sickness is going
Grub - we are suckers for punishment wanting more kids aren't we?? I always wanted 4, but also wanted to be done by the time I was 35. DH is keen to get the snip after this one but the closer I get to meeting this bub the more I am thinking I still would like another. Time will tell I guess. Hope you get a good rest when DH comes home. Mine is away this weekend (Fri - Mon) and next weekend too. Hope you start feeling better soon.
AFM - Still going on renos. Me and kids all have head cold and cough and DH away for weekend so not much sleep last few nights. Managed to get kitchen and dining room undercoated today. Mum is helping she is a darling, but she is going to visit sister tomorrow so will be single parenting / renovating. Had a slight panic attack the other day that my sister is due before me and what if she has a boy and steals our name??? Trouble is I can't tell her as she knows I know the sex but doesn't want to know herself what I am having... She said her DH would probably want to know so I will try and tell him and tell him the name and then they can't steal it accidentally???? Any suggestions. I am only worried as it is a family name and the other day she mentioned that she liked that name. Ahhh!
Have a great weekend everyone...
oh maggie pie what a dilemna! regarding your family name and the threat of thievery! lol. sounds like hitting up your BIL would be good as he has veto power and your sis might not agree to not use it ie first in first serve??? i reckon you can manipulate BIL easier that SIS lol.
brunette - that sounds like a plan. we used a lactation consultnant for a little while and she looked like an old mary poppins lol but was so wonderful :) Have you thought about complaining to the aba about that chick so she doesn't do that to anyone else?
Just regarding your question... initally we REALLY wanted a girl and i know DH is still the same but I seriously would be so happy with either. I love little boys so much, they are too cute for words (i'm pretty sure girls are too tho lol). And i have all the stuff for a boy so it would be cheaper hahaha.
Maggie - i had always said 4 too! but we've only got one frostie left and if this pregnancy turns out as i hoped then we won't go for another cycle. I would settle for 2 but i reckon i can talk DH into using that frostie. I didn't realise til the FET this time how i think of those little frosties as babies... they are already in my family iykwim.
dh home safe... just taken bub-bub for a walk :) and he's taking him out to a play centre today ... i think it's more for daddy to play than ashton lol.
ox
girls I'm so sorry that this is another really short post, but life's still pretty crazy. my brain is not programmed to cope with all the things i'm juggling in it at the moment. the one thing that's just swimming along nicely is my pregnancy now which is the most important, but our sick friend's still in hospital and we are his only family, we still have guests, we have soil/turf that DH and friends are laying today, a basic barbie to thank all the helpers, a dog desperate for long walk, a trip to the hospital, a quick grocery shop and dinner at friends tonight. I used to have days like this all the time...but i am just too knackered now!!! ;-)
when our visitors leave I will dedicate an hour to replying to some persies. I am still trying to keep up with all your stories though.
Thank you maggiepie for thinking of me cos i was MIA...it's little things like that that make me smile, and love this site.
even if we have differing opinions (and lets face it we're human beings), we are all here for one reason and we all get sooooo much from this site. I salute us all ;-) :-) yeh for us and yeh for the site management xxxx
Hi all,
Just a really quick post - should be studying for stats exam next week, so first step, before doing practice quiz is to log on here, and reading everyone's stories of course.
Anyway, glad to hear all are going well and looking forward to more scans coming up (Airline). I do love the scans.
Also, as for ABA chat ... well, I remember in high school some ABA mums coming to show us how to breastfeed! We were about 14. I went to a Catholic school. At the same time, I can't remember in what class (Science?), we were shown a video of a real birth, full view, and I swear it was to put us off having sex! Confusing messages. Anyway, this has nothing really whatsoever to do with anything that was said, but I do get a bit sad sometimes about the judgemental behaviours of women against other women, and women against themselves. We are our own harshest critics. And I don't think that I'm being stereotypical (though I know a few blokes who are self-critical, like my youngest brother, who's very harsh on himself). I do it myself a lot. I'm often threatened by others' views, because basically I doubt myself. I hope that getting older (and I reckon older women are such a brilliant example) will help with that.
Well, that is my sermon on the mount! Jesus ...
Um, all this to avoid stats.
Hope all are well and keep the stories coming!
WW
As promised:
DOG, BABY & YOU - Brisbane City Council
DOG BITE STATISTICS:
* 30,000 dog attacks in Australia every year
* 11 toddlers or babies are attacked in QLD every MONTH
* Age group 0-4yrs makes up 27% of the hospitalised dog attacks
* 29% of attacks happen in a home environment (yours or a friends)
BEFORE BABY COMES:
* Get dog used to Environment, Associated Smells, Sounds, One Hand Activities
- Environment: set up any baby equipment that you'll be using in 'common' areas, poracot, bouncer, swing etc.
- Smells: baby oils and any lotions you intend to use (use them on your hands and have dog smell them),
baby powder (sprinkle on dog's skin/coat, bedding). If dog needs to be calmed you can use lavender oil
dabbed around the dog's face (lavender oil does not need to be diluted in a carrier oil)
- Sounds: if you can, obtain a CD of a baby crying (or YouTube). When you play the crying, pick up doll and
mimic what you would do to quiet the baby (feed, change nappy, rock, sing to it etc). Your dog might be
mildly interested at first then ignore it.
- One hand: get your dog used to only having one hand of yours free to pat it, feed it etc.
GETTING TO KNOW THE BABY:
* Toy Change, Walks with Pram, Schedule, Boundaries, Dog Space, Newborn Smells
- Toy Change: Replace any fluffy dog togs with rope toys or chews. The reason for this is that baby will have
plenty of fluffy toys and your dog needs to not believe that fluffy toys belong to just the dog (this might
result in a frustrated dog snapping when baby/toddler picks up it's fluffy toy)
- Walks with Pram: Take dog for walks with the pram (place doll in pram, and use a shawl/bunny rug to cover the front of
the pram so that passers by don't see you with a doll in the pram!). Never tie dog's lead to the pram
in case dog takes off after something and tips the pram over.
- Schedule: Start the schedule of baby crying, changing nappy, feed etc so that dog learns the cues and
knows when it is quiet time. Half hour after putting baby to sleep, play the newborn crying sounds (preferably from the nursery)
then start the routine again. Feed the doll in the normal feeding spot and if tht is the couch then ensure that the dog is
NOT on the couch. If dog is a couch dog, then either change that behaviour now, or don't feed baby there, or if dog
knows to only hop up on couch if invited then don't invite dog when baby is with you on couch.
- Boundaries: Ensure dog has it's own special spot that is just theirs (dog bed, bean bag etc) and when toddler is old enough
teach toddler that only the dog can go to that spot, as dog will want to retreat at some point after having ears pulled
one time too many. Dog must be able to relax in that spot and feel safe.
If you don't want dog to go into nursery, and dog is an inside dog, then it might be easier to just set up a gate at the
nursery door. If you allow dog into nursery then dog should have it's own spot in that room, so that when dog enters it
goes to it's spot and is not underfoot where Mum holding baby could trip over it.
- Newborn Smells: There are 5 things Dad needs to bring home from hospital while Mum and Baby are still in hospital.
1. Pooey nappy
2. Wet nappy
3. Something baby has thrown up on
4. Something baby has been wrapped in
5. Something baby has worn
Ensure dog is calm first.
Show them to dog (just hold them out so dog can sniff), and let dog smell them.
Throw out the nappies, but with everything else, put them in the nursery.
Show the dog the next day, and there should be no interest as dog already smelt them yesterday,
and the smell has now permeated the nursery.
PET CARE
* vet Check - before baby comes ensure all vaccinations are up to date, also check with vet
about paralysis tick as most worming tablets or flea/tick treatments do not cover paralysis tick.
* Ensure dog registration is current and always have collar and blue council tag on dog.
* If dog is long haired and gets groomed, have this done before baby arrives home as there won't be
a lot of time for this after baby arrives.
* Behaviour - ensure that any training is not forgotten by your dog, so go through some training
in the lead up to baby's arrival.
* Arrange for care - Dad will be busy the week that Mum is in hospital, so if you need to arrange
for someone to walk the dog once or twice a day do so. This is a good way to release the dog's
energy and calm them.
BABY COMING HOME
* Get someone (friend, neighbour, family member) to walk/run the dog about 1/2 hour before you are
due to arrive home, so that the energy is released and dog is calmer.
* Dad and baby to stay outside, and Mum to greet the dog first, dog may be very excited to see you
so you will need to calm the dog once you have had your greeting.
* Dad and baby enter. Dog should be relatively calm as they have essentially already smelt the baby
through the clothes etc that were brought home, and they have watched you holding the doll, and
they have heard the crying.
INTRODUCING DOG TO BABY
* Baby should be calm. If crying then don't introduce.
* Dog should be calm.
* Sit on couch (or outdoors if the dog is not inside house), have baby wrapped and just unwrap the legs
and allow dog to sniff/lick calmly. Then wrap baby's legs back up calmly. Dog should be calm and go about
it's normal activities.
Anyone heard from Renee?
MaggiePie, if your BIL is happy to know and discuss the issue, then I'd go with that path. If he's happy to agree to not using the name then if your sister suggests it he could just say he doesn't like it (or changed his mind if he previously okayed it) if he doesn't want to let your sister know you're having a boy. Depends if he's comfortable with a short-term lie to avoid her finding out? Could also give you some warning if they had their hearts set on it too?
Added later:
Actually, I've re-thought this since posting. That short-term lie could turn into a long-term feud if your sister had her heart set on that name too. I think all you can do is explain your position to your BIL and find out their position on the name. If your sister needs to become involved, then she might just have to suck up the not wanting to know and deal with it. Hopefully your BIL will say that's not the one they're leaning towards picking for a boy and that he's happy to remove it from their list of options. Otherwise, you might need a professional negotiator... :goodluck:
Maggie, my cousin has identical twins and I’ve caught up with her a couple of times over the last few months, but you know what, I don’t think of the 101 questions I’ve asked her that I asked her if she purely BF or expressed and BF. I must give her a call. The lady in your mothers group who fed all three babies exclusively by BFing and expressing is definitely a wonder woman! Thanks for relating this story as it gives me more confidence that I can do it. How you related finding a name for your firstborn is exactly what it’s like for me ATM. I feel if I don’t read every name in the name books (over 35,000, mind you) then I might just miss out on something perfect :) It is very draining. I don’t think we’ll be having any more, though, so I want to make sure the names I pick are just right. Hope you all kick your head colds soon. Sounds busy at your house with the reno. I would definitely mention to your BIL the name you’ve picked out. He would tell you surely if you both have picked out the same name. Better to be safe than sorry? If they’ve picked the same name then at least you’ll have time to pick another?
Grub, I wouldn’t complain as I don’t want the hassle. I suppose I wish I could replay the moment and be stronger in my response. I’ll definitely get a lactation consultant if I’m still having problems when home from the hospital. How long did you have to use a consultant? Re gender of your next child, sounds like either way you’ll be happy which is great. That way you can’t lose; it’s a win-win :)
WW, GL in your upcoming exam. Statistics sound scary!
Gosh, Chrissy, thanks so much for your notes. So comprehensive. I’m going to print them out and also show them to DH. My dog is a big licker, and so no doubt when I unwrap the babies he will lick them silly :)
Hope everyone has had a good weekend.
Chrissy, Renee is in another thread I post to. She posted there today. She's okay but has an elevated BP which her dr thinks is due to a slight fever I think.