In just over an hour I will be having my first scan for this pregnancy, pregnancy #4. We have one beautiful daughter. We are approximately 7 weeks today and apart from a tiny 'implantation/breakthrough' spotting episode when I was due for AF, so far so good. I can't remember ever being this nervous in my whole life! Each day has been challenging but now I know that our lives will change one way or another in the next hour I feel so scared! I almost don't want to face it and have no idea how I am going to be able to face looking at that screen, in the same place where it all went wrong again just a couple of months ago. I was not even going to post this, I've been trying so hard to live in denial but it feels like the time has come to face it for better or for worse, please wish us luck!! We really want and need this wee baby! We have waited so long and we are so ready for a baby to keep!

Please send us all of your good vibes, I've never prayed so much in my life!

arghhhhhh I am SO nervous!!!