Stoked - I would like to join this Ina May cheersquad, lol. That was the first book I read after Telly sent it to me and I LOVED it. I think that's where I realized I don't have to be afraid of birth. I'm reading Active birth right now and it's just as good, actually more 'technical'. As for the spotting, I wonder if it's still possibly related to implanation? Like a bit of blood took a while to escape the body? Not sure.
Tegam - I'm the opposite I think, grew up around all the birth horror stories. They used to scare me but now they just annoy me. As I said, why don't women support eachother? It's like a competition to see who had the hardest longest labour.. and everyone wants to win. It's stupid! My own sister used to tell me her own birth stories over and over again when I was a kid (she's 12yrs older than me) and delighted in the horrified look on my face! I've decided to put all the negativity aside and just enjoy things. DP is also irritated by the number of people who have told him how awful having a baby is (men he knows at work) and how hard it is and blah blah blah. DP says he wonders if maybe they didn't want their babies, because he's excited about having a little one. (awwww)
Ferrals - exactly!!! Well said. Congrats on the great sex... lol.
AFM - Just about to check out the baby's room, DP has snuck in and hung our little mesh toy hanging thingiemagig and I'm dying to see it. YAY!
me post: not looking good. At 6w1d I measured exactly 6 wks but now at 7w5d I only measure 6w5d. The baby has grown a bit more than the sac did so the sac now measures not in ratio to baby which is not good. The h/b is supposed to be around 160-180 but is only 117. So it's not looking at all good, almost exactly the same as with the twins back in March. And yes we should be having twins this time as well as there are two clear sacs, but he said one sac is empty. he did abdominal scan not internal. Not sure if that makes any difference? The fact my nausea is not as bad as it was last week is also not a good sign , he said it could mean my hormone levels are already decreasing. I have to go back next Monday morning to see if there is any change.
I think I need all the prayers I can get
Angelic - Oh hun, I don't want to give up hope for you. I can tell you this much, an internal scan gives a MUCH clearer image than an abdominal. The news doesn't sound positive though, but still I will cling to any hope I can for you in this scary time. Perhaps next time you can request an internal (because they're so glamorous, of course... ) I'll keep you in my thoughts and will be having some serious words with the universe about giving you a break for once!
AFM - Not a whole lot to report, except that I got a call from Brisbane mater today saying I have a scan booked for next wednesday. Ummmmmm great. I was tempted to refuse it but DP seems to think we should just go along with what the drs say, since we aren't drs ourselves. A good point yes, but as i said to him today: If he can't get the day off, I'm not driving 2hrs round trip by myself into the bowels fo hell (Sorry Brisbane dwellers, but it really is awful driving in the city) for an unneccesary scan. I am in the LOW RISK category, people! Stop harassing me with these extreme measures. Really. This baby is going to be born no matter what, and there is obviously nothing seriously wrong, as the Dr stated that previously saying there would have been some clue in one of my numerous previous scans. But noooo they're going to make me go all the way to Brisbane for something I don't need. The only reason I'm going along with it is so that I can see the baby again, and hopefully a clearer picture on their high tech machines. Ok I'm finished sooking over nothing really, carry on everyone.
Angelicdragon-I am so sorry it is not looking positive but while there is a heart beat and growth i will pray to the same person who gave me my healthy little girl to bring into this world will bless you with a healthy bub also.
Forshelby-just go and prove to them that bub is fine it is proberbly just a precausion.
Oh Angelic what a stressful time, i am so sorry you dont have any answers at the moment and have to wait a very long week! I will pray for you and you will be in my thoughts. Please continue to post in this tough week, we are all here for you!
Angelic, i have everything crossed that everything will be ok with your bubba. My sonographer told me that at such an early stage it is very easy to get the measurement wrong due to lots of different reasons, their hand shaking a little for one. I am really hoping this is the case for you
Forshelby, Oh well... at least you'll get to see bub again! Yay for another Ina May cheerleader!
AFM, Nothing much happening here... still no real symptoms, a bit of a watery mouth and metallic taste today, and i'm tireder than normal, but that is pretty much it. No more spotting thank goodness. Off to have another BHCG test tomorrow. POAS again just to check and it scared the heck outta me as the second line took ages to come up (confirm brand - done that to me a few times!) but when it did it was definately darker than the last one so felt good about that.
Sorry i havent been real positive lately..feel a bit down with everything thats going. I think ms has kicked in, think im sicker than with me DD. With her i felt nauseas but only threw up once or twice. With this one i have already thrown up 4 times and i havent been able to do much which is strange for me. I couldnt even go shopping..and TRUST me thats strange in its self. I have felt real tired and have been having nana naps..and all i have felt like doing is lying on the couch...i suppose you could say thats a good thing with having the ms..but i just dont feel positive....i have had a few more drops of blood..back ache...and some period type pains...nothing bad...but im still really paranoid. Would like nothing more than to pretend its ok and not have my next scan which is Friday...but i know i cant just dip my head in the sand...im pretty emotional and not talking to hubby because he has upset me...some of it is hormonal...im just not feeling real good at the moment and feel quiet low...im hoping though that things will look brighter soon
Thinking of you all!!!!!!!
Stoked...i hope things go well with you're tests!!! and angelic...i am constantly thinking about you..i know what i am going through...let alone what you are and you're in my thoughts and i am praying for you!!!!!!!! hugs
Angelic - oh love - praying for your little bubba and you....
Melster - it's so hard to feel positive when you feel sick, and in the early days, when there are no exciting signs of the pregnancy. But if you are tired, take heed and rest, it's your body and bubba telling you to rest. Sending you postive vibes....
Stoked - thinking of you.
Tegam - how are you going? Keep holding out little one....
Forshelby - LOL re the bowels of hell ( aka Brisbane). I hope DH can get time off work and go with you. It is a long way to go for a scan that you could have elsewhere. Like you said you're not high risk. There is a high risk clinic there.
AFM - had a vivid dream that felt so very real yesterday and it was scary. I was unable to move, see or talk - like I'd had a stroke. Yukko. I was snoozing on the lounge under a blanket in the heat as I had felt pretty shivery and nauseated. I was hoping to puke to get it over with but after about 4 hours it passed. Luckily Hannah Bear was asleep the whole time and by the time she woke up I felt a lot better. Not 100% right but better.
forshelby - on the upside, I will be at the Mater next Wednesday too, assuming that this kiddo hasn't made an entrance by then. Give us a wave! I have never driven or parked there, it is a nightmare. I hate driving in the city too, particularly sucky cos I live here!
dory - yuck! Hope that doesn't happen again! And how lovely that Hannah slept through it.
stoked - fingers super-crossed, hun, but I'm sure it's nothing.
Melster - nice one on the nanna naps, get in as much rest as you can!
I went on a cleaning spree yesterday, but now I'm a bit sore and tired. Really want to kep going, but also kinda want to conserve my energy. Might try some easy jobs today.
Angelic - I'm so sorry to hear that things are not looking good. I am hoping like anything that there is better news when they do the next scan on Monday and
Melster - I'm really sorry that you've had some more bleeding. But it really is a good sign with the morning sickness, and the backache and period pain are completely normal. Best of luck for your scan on Friday hun. Keeping everything
stoked - best of luck for your test tomorrow, hope you get some good numbers back.
dory - that dream sounds awful! I hope you are feeling better now.
forshelby - how annoying about the scan! I hope at least they can get some good pics for you.
Audax - ah - nesting! Must be getting close!
ferrals - glad to hear you're having a good time!!
I am really starting to freak out about my scan on Friday. I thought I was feeling the baby move last week, but now I don't have anything. I am so scared that the baby has died, and when we go for the scan there will be no hb. I lay awake for hours in the middle of the night last night trying to feel movements, but got nothing. With DS I didn't really get kicks until I was 22-23 weeks, but given that this is baby #2 I feel like I should be feeling things by now. I just hate this anxiety. Still have to get through three more days
Audax - OMG OMG OMG I am super excited for you! I almost want to come to the Mater to see you! LOL... As if you need another visitor!! Nesting huh? Go easy n yourself. OMG I am so excited for you or did I already say that? Wishing you all the best and can't wait to be reading about how your bubba just rocks your world.
Honeybee - oh sweetie.... nothing anyone can say can take that fear away! I hope that you get through it and get to see your little passengers HB nice and strong... but until you do, you will be nothing but a bundle of nerves and fear. Sending you as much strength as you need to get through.
AFM - I had plans to go out and then got a phone call. Now am waiting for another phone call at 11.30am. Maybe I can go out then. Have a sleep refuser today so might was well get out. I stayed home yesterday after my scary dream... oh so brave.
Ferrals - Yeah, I'll do that! I just wish I knew why they were insisting I do this when nothing is going to change the outcome of this pg. We love this baby and it's going to be born no matter what now.
Stoked - We're trying to look at it that way. DP's boss was understanding and gave him the day off to come with me so I feel a bit better about it now. Good luck with your next round of bloods. Oh also, apparently the darkness of the line on the test doesn't really mean a whole lot.. can't remember where I heard that. I think it was Kit? Anyway, as she would say, a line is a line is a line. Hooray!!!
Melster - Don't be afraid to turn to your husband at a time like this, hun. That's what he's for. Remind him of that I'm looking forward to hearing a positive result from your scan on Friday.
Dory - Hehe, yeah I found it a bit hard to swallow that there was NOWHERE on the entire Gold Coast to have this scan done. I was ranting to DP 'don't they know what low risk means?! Imagine if we were high risk what they'd be putting us through'. I'm trying not to be a whinger and a 'victim' like my mum was and always trained us to be............ but seriously, wtf is with every little milestone in this pg meaning something goes wrong with the technical side? (drs, hospital, scans etc) I mean I had the paperwork go missing 3 TIMES! Had some of my bt results 'lost' and had to have them done again, got the trainee 2 hour scan, had 2 separate doctors pulverize my belly and upset me, enjoyed a 2hr wait for an unneccesary appointment at the hospital to be told I'm going to Brisbane in about a month for this scan, then I receive a phonecall telling me it's NEXT WEEK...... am given absolutely no notice and have to organize DP's schedule to get us there. *deep breath* I realise a lot of these things are small.... but when you add them up OMG it's frustrating. It's like they've decided I'm high risk and haven't told me or something! Anyway, in short I'm glad I'll have DP there with me and if we're lucky and it doesn't drag on all day we might go out for lunch or something in the city. Ok, rant over! I hope the icky sickness stays away for you, sounds awful! And the dream, even worse! So glad Hannah Bear was such a good girl and slept right through it all. PS. I just scrolled down and noticed you also had an 'omg omg omg' moment for Audax... LOL, we ARE cosmic twins! We can all have a little party in the waiting room, hahaha. It'd be great to introduce DP to some of my fellow 'mummy's clubbers' as he calls us hehehe. I think he's getting into it, just the other day he asked me if anything 'juicy' was happening in the boohoo room.... LOL how cute is that?!
Audax - Oooh how exciting! And to think I just had a big rant, now I'm kind of excited lol. We'll have to tell eachother what colour we'll be wearing, lol. I have to be there just before 11am. What a freaky co-incidence that is. I take back the last part of my previous rant. And I just realized you're past your due date! OMG OMG OMG *dances around frantically* heheheehe....
Honeybee - Yeah, I'm trying to stay positive about it, at the very least it'll be nice for DP to have a day off mid-week. Those early movements can be so hard to pick up on.... it was around 18 weeks I was becoming sure those tiny flutters were the baby, but they weren't regular. Sometimes I'd go days without anything happening. Don't stress about it, it's possible that bubby is tucked into your spine so you aren't feeling all the action going on in there, just a little bit of it. The odds are in your favour, hun and this baby is going to be kicking up a storm in no time.
AFM - I think I ranted enough above, hehe so I'll just say wooooah I'm having some weird vivid dreams lately! This morning's one involved a lot of water, and trying to carry my puppy dog through it (he doesn't swim) it was weird! I also drove my car into the water which is one of my WORST nightmares. I must've fallen off a cliff or something in a past life because every time I'm driving near an edge (especially when there's water below) I feel really tense and just want to be away from there. Yep, I'm having a strange day alright. And how's everything with you guys?
Honeybee.....wish i had some answers for you or some help.....but im in the same position but i am only 7 weeks......unfortunately i dont think the fear goes away...mc seems to take the pleasure out of some of the pregnancy stuff.....the fear is consuming me.....I will HOPE and PRAY you're little one is ok and healthy and i hope the scan comes quickly....i know with DD i felt her after my 20 week scan...they do say you might feel the 2nd baby earlier..but i think it also depends on were the placenta is...if its at the front you wont feel it as much.....sending you hugs...i know the anxiety sucks babe....wish i knew how to help myself and then i could help you...
I need some moral support from people who will understand, sorry to crash, but I know some of you really well...... I just wrote this in my blog, but it didn't much help....
"I recently sent out combined birth announcement thankyou cards for Hannah. One of the paragraphs was - "Our much anticipated and much adored baby girl, carried to us on the wings of angels". It was my way of recognising and paying tribute to Amelia, Nicholas and Sophie, but trying to do it in a way that didn't take away from the moment for Hannah. If I do say so myself, I thought it was just right, and balanced the need to honour my angels with the desire to celebrate Hannah's arrival.
A person who received hers yesterday said to me over the telephone today " Oh, carried to us on the wings of angels huh.... I am worried about that, what kind of weird religious bent is that? Who wrote that?" All said in a disparaging tone of voice and with the implication that my DH wrote it.
In the instant that she said that I wanted to yell in response that it was referring to Amelia, Nicholas and Sophie, but surely no one could be so obtuse as to miss the reference, especially when they knew my babies before Hannah had died? In that instant I wanted to yell at the person for being so damn hurtful In that instant I wanted to hang up the phone and cry, In that instant I did none of those things, and I just don't know why.
So now as the tears roll down my cheeks, I question why I didn't do any of those things and wonder if I am just too weak to stand up for myself and my children, and then I wonder why I can't stand up for my children, my children who can't do it themselves. Does it mean that I don't love them enough? But then I think, perhaps I just rose above such hurtful comments and the small mind who felt the need to say such inexplicable things. Perhaps I am stronger than I think. I just don't know, all I know is it hurts, it hurts more than I care for it to right now. But I still ponder am I reed that gets pushed around by the stream of life or am I an oak standing tall and resolute?
Grief my old companion, is never far away and with grief comes so much self doubt. Today
my companion exacts a heavy toll and not one that I think I can resolve.
Forshelby - it really is the boohoo room for me today. You must be so frustrated with all the technical stuff just making this journey harder than it has to be. I want to say I am so proud of your for trying to not be a victim and breaking out from that mould... you are going to be such a good mumma to your little one.
Oh where do you start Dory! Ibelieve i have gotten to know you well over the past year and i must say that straight away i thought it was because you are stronger than you realise. I have said it before and i believe it will all that i am, your children could not have asked for a better mother or a stronger one. You show all of us here on BB how to live a life of courage not fear. You show such grace and pride when you talk about all your children.
When i read your new signature with the words "carried to us on the wings of Angels" My heart broke in two, but in the best possible way. It is the most beautifully written tribute to ALL of your children that any parent could have written!
Be proud! Ignore the small people, sadly there are a lot of them!
All my love and strength to you today, i know grief will never be far away, but luckly now neither will hannah bear!
You were always going to have a horrible roller coaster of emotions when HB arrived and this is just part of that cycle!
Very humbly i offer you my praise and say "i think you are doing and amazing job!"
Dory - Awwww... YOU ARE AN OAK! I think we've all had that moment where someone says something incredibly hurtful/insensitive and we just freeze. Don't feel bad about that, your babies know you love them, whether you yell at the ignorant people or not. I guess you can't go through life yelling at every brainless twit who makes a comment they shouldn't. I think that would really take away from the whole 'dory' effect you have going on, and probably give you a sore throat cause there are a LOT of twits out there. Few people can understand the things you've been through..... so I guess all we can do is turn a blind eye to spare ourselves the heartache. I felt like I should have yelled at the Dr who said my mc didn't count and that this is my first pg. (I know wtf) I wanted to slap her. But I, like you just stared at her and said nothing while my mind raced with all the things I felt like I should say to defend my baby.
I agree that you simply rose above this person's awful remarks. You handled the situation with the same grace you bring to every aspect of your life, it seems. Don't doubt yourself for a second, you're my hero, woman! Sometimes when something is not going right for me I sit down and I think 'What would Dory say?' Really. It's ok to feel grief, I'm sure it'll be something that comes and goes for the rest of your days. It's something you'll have to tackle as it arises, and just walk yourself through those dark moments. I know Hannah will be the shining light you need to get you through those times, she truly is a living angel. Just remember that you're an amazing woman, and have inspired so many of us on here. And once again you've put my little issue into crystal clear perspective for me. From this day forward you shall be known as The Oracle.. lol.
They say it takes 10 compliments/positive statements to outweigh a negative. I hope I've helped to even things up a bit, hun. I hate to see you so down.
(I'm not even going to continue on with my silly rant from earlier, it seems so petty now. But I must say thankyou for such a lovely compliment.... and if I turn out to be a good mother it'll be because of everything you've taught me about strength and kindness. )
YAY!
) I'll keep you in my thoughts and will be having some serious words with the universe about giving you a break for once!
*dances around frantically* heheheehe.... 
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