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I think that we will find out, mainly because we lost our first at 8 weeks and never knew whether we had a boy or girl. This time round I think it will be both reassuring and special to my fiance and I to know at the 20 week mark, because I still worry that something may go wrong with this pregnancy too - so the time we get to share with each other and bubs (before they come into the big wide world) knowing whether it's a boy or girl would have special meaning to us.
I don't have any problem with people finding out though, most of my friends and family did. But we didn't find out and I would not find out if and when we go again. I loved looking forward to finding out on the day, as at the pushing stage all I could think about was we were about to find out if we have a boy or girl (distracted me from the pain a little). I still felt bonded to him regardless of whether I knew it's gender.
I just like to wait til the day, and quite often explain it like waiting for christmas day to open your presents, even though you can see them sitting under the tree. I've always been happy to wait for the day, and let the excitement build even more.
I've also heard of a few people (friends of friends) who have been told it's 1 gender, then to find out it was another on the day and they went through a few feelings of disappointment and then there was cost of buying everything again, as they had bought and washed all the clothes and stuff for the other gender. So I would want them to be fairly sure before they told me then (like 99% would do me).
Good luck, I hope it all works out for you and your little one shows you exactly what you want to know.
I'm due for my 20 week scan early Jan and I am undecided. At I really wanted to find out - I thought it would help both me and DH with bonding with my child. But DH really doesnt want to know yet - even though I think it would help him bond with the baby. He hasn't been so interested in this pregnancy and I'm sure it would help.
But now after reading Bec's comment that sometimes they get it wrong........ that would be awful! Not because it really matters whether its a boy or girl, but because you would have built up this image of your child and then you'd have to readjust all your thoughts. CLothing doesnt really matter for me because I figure boy or girl, they are wearing orange and purple!!
hi mummy naomi,
we are the opposite, we chose not to find out, cause we TTC for a long while and decided we wanted the big surprise, however we got so many people telling us they couldn't believe we didn't find out and we're living in the dark ages.
our families are very excited we didn't find out, and of course everyone has their opinion on what it's going to be (me included :) but still it was our choice not theirs.
But yeah i couldn't believe the amount of people who said to us they can't believe we didn't find out and they couldn't wait that long.
Actually at our scan the sonographer said to us we we're in the minority and 90% of couples nowadays chose to find out the sex and she said good on us for not.
but i think it's your choice whether you do or not, nobody elses...! You could always find out and not tell anyone you know, then laugh at all the times people try and tell you what they think it is by the way you carry etc...ha ha.
Both times I have chosen not to find out as I have always thought that it is the ultimate surprise. The best thing was when DD was born and DP said to me "it's a girl". I felt it was really special to have him be able to announce the gender of our baby. I also know of one woman who has been told the wrong gender for 2 of her babies so I'm not sold on the reliability either!
In a peverse way I like annoying people like MIL and SIL who desperately want you to find out because they want to know - and I don't want to give them that satisfaction :lol:
However, each to their own and if you want to find and tell everyone, or keep it to yourself or not find out at all then you do what you feel comfortable with.
We'll be fiding out. We did with DS, and will again this time.
I agree with a PP who was talking about labour being enough of a surprise, and not once during my labour did I think 'oh I can't wait to meet my boy'. Um, no. It was 'OMG this hurts', and 'breathe in, breathe out' Along with my fave 'and it burns burns burns.... the ring of fire.....' after the middie mentioned crowning. LOL
I have a son already. Whilst I am not at all fussed if I have a boy or girl, I think knowing will actually help it feel more real to us. We seem to sit back and not do alot until the morph scan. This way, we know we have to chose a name for one gender, get clothing etc, and have time to bond with the little on inside a little more.
I am usually 'told off' by people for deciding to find out.
It doesn't matter what you do, there will always be someone telling you differently;)
We decided not to find out this time (our first). Our reason came down to the fact that we had gone through months of fertility treatment and IVF/ICSI to fall pregnant. I felt like all the "spontaneity" of falling pregnant was taken away from us. Everything was so micro managed that even though it was such a wonderful moment when we found out we were pregnant, it wasn't the same as if we had done it naturally.
So, I wanted to regain some of that surprise factor. It was such a hard thing for me to do though! It was so tempting at our 20 week scan to find out... but my DH and I had made a committment that we would wait.
I think it is such a personal decision and people shouldn't judge either way.
Janie xxx
With #1 - we definately didnt want to know. It didnt matter either way and we were excited about the baby if it was a boy or girl.
With #2 - DH didnt want to know, and I did. We were now in our own home and i was decorating and wanted tonkow if i kept DD's things or not from her babytime or if i should go blue lol. Dh said it would ruin the surprise.. i told him we didnt even ask if DD was a girl or boy as we were more excited to see if the baby looked like me or DH (we are very different lol... me redhair and pale and DH is greek hehe).... so that was more of a surprise than gender for us... like a competition on whos genes were stronger! ahahahahahha
Anyhow .... We decided to find out.
My reasoning for DH was - we only get one life to experience, we didnt find out the first time, and now i wanted to experience seeing something ont he scan and getting excited earlier!!!
Also we were bad at names and i didnt want to fight over a gender;s name if we didnt need to lol... so finding out it was a boy was better so we only needed one name! (no we didnt use the same name from #1 if it was a boy either lol).
When we saw the little peepee i could tell how excited dh was to actually find out.
We kept is a secret from EVERYONE (sorry my belly group lol).. even our families dont know to this day we knew.
It was a wonderful special secret just for us :)
:itsaboy:
Hey Ladies - thanks for all your comments - this has been such an interesting post
We had our scan today and I am very proud to announce that we have a beautiful healthy (very active) baby boy on the way
Baby was so active for most of the scan it took the poor sonographer almost 2 hours to get the pictures and measurements needed!!!
Anyway - it was amazing and even more amazing to find out we are having a son as our first bubs!!! It really makes it feel more real and baby is now a HE!! We both shed a bit of a tear when we found out!!
Naomi
congrats on your baby boy naomi!!!
yayayayayay
oh I had to know!! I wanted to get all set up before they were born. Everyone asks did I want a girl but I was happy with boys, hand-me-downs rock and I didn't have to worry about them sharing a room lol
Hey belly buddy! We are due that same day! Me, DF and DD (lol) are definately going to find out the sex of the baby. Tommorow as a matter of fact! But everyone (family and friends) wants to know because there are so many girls in the family that everyone is anxious for a boy to hop on and can't wait a full 9 months!:
.........i think thats why we found out with #2 and #3 - it felt more real if that makes sense. But i must admit, the ultimate suprise is when you look down, or your DH calls out 'its a .....'. Thats why....for our first baby, and our last baby we wont be finding out......:
It really makes it feel more real and baby is now a HE
Congrats on your lil boy though......