Feeling down....

[firsttimer]

Does anyone ever find they feel really down, and then more down because they feel guilty about feeling down??

This is my second pregnancy (I'm 24wks), very much wanted. I had a missed m/c at 12weeks first time around, but fell pregnant again fairly quickly. For some reason, I go through periods of being really depressed and down in the dumps. Most of this seems to centre around my concern about Down Syndrome. I have had u/s and bloods, and my risk is 1:2910, which I know is low risk and ok. We have a child with Cystic Fibrosis in our family, which was a shock and although we wouldn't change him for the world, it has changed lots of things and it has probably affected me more than I had ever realised.

I have tried talking to my ob, my sonographer and my husband, who all tell me I'm low risk, but there is a chance! I feel like none of them listened to me and it's now a touchy subject between me and DH. All my girlfriends appear to be risks of 1:8000 and so, and I can't understand why me, a normally logical and controlled person, who has never suffered with any sort of depression, is struggling so much. I feel like I'm not even paying attention to the kicks as much as I should because I'm too worried.

Have made an appointment with my GP next week, so hopefully she'll listen to me...I almost feel like having an amnio to put my mind at rest, but I know that's not a wise move..

Anyone felt the same, or is it just me being ridiculous?

[SueB]

Firsttimer,

I am in a very similiar situation to you. The father of my bubby has a child with Spins Bifida and i too have had all the scans and bloods and have been told that i am low risk (can't find my percentage sorry).

I too am a very rational person normally ...... i think it's just the horemones adding to our way of thinking. I have days where i can't seem to do anything because of the worring thoughts, the only way i have any hope of putting my fears to the back of my mind IS the kicks my little one is giving me, it's a way for me to aleviate some of my fears that things are coming along as they should.

I don't think you are being ridiculous, when there is a history in the family line it's a very real fear.

Best of luck

[Mel09]

Hi there...

Firstly your being completely normal... no matter what you feel is normal for you. Most of us have felt guilt, and down in the dumps some where along the line of pg. It's such a huge rolloer coaster of emotions for a completely normal have nothing in the world to worry about pg, let alone when you have something eating away in the back of your mind.

I can't really offer any real advice as I haven't actually been in your situation, but I can tell you that when i was around 35ish weeks with DD I was constintly putting on a brave face as I was sooooo scared of finding out I was having a baby with DS. I dreamt it, I thought it and I was *****ting my self. I now have a very happy and healthy little girl and no doubt I will be thinking the exact same thing in a few weeks or so with this pg.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that yes talk to your dr and midwives and even us here, it will all help. I know where your coming from with DH, we were the same, he is so easy going and laid back, he was getting annoyed with all my worrying. It'll all be fine, you will be a great mum, and no matter what happens your child will be the absolute centre of your world, and you wont care at all.

Good Luck, I hope my babbling and ramnbling helpped a little.

mel

[Ltl Panda]

Hey there

You have all rights to be feeling the way you are, with all these hormones all our emotions are enhanced by many more times than normal.
I find that stressing out about the health of our baby is also got to do with the abundance of information on thing that can go wrong….. reading all this stuff can make someone go crazy. Try to relax hun, hope your mind clears up a little and enjoy the pregnancy, its such a wonderful time, and you know, the baby can feel you stressing and that means the baby stresses. Please take care, and if you need to talk, we are all here.

[mrsr]

*raises hand*

Welcome to my world...I have good days and then I have days when the tiniest things can set me off into the lowest feelings I've ever experienced. Sometimes DH is understanding then other times he can be totally insensitive and that doesn't really help me much. I get on the phone to mum and have a cry to her or just sit and feel sorry for myself.

I am worried that my really upset times can be affecting my baby and I'm sure it will...I made a pact with myself yesterday to try so very hard not to let the turkeys get me down for the rest of this pregnancy, but of course, you can't control outside factors can you?

[katkins]

Oh honey, *hugs* Hormones are real cows aren't they? They turn us normally sane people into moody women who have to put up with insensitive men. What u r feeling is very valid hon. I know it won't help to hear every woman feels this way and worries about her unborn child and how they will cope and even the most expected and welcome pregnancy produces such emotions and moods. We are here to talk to and here to listen honey. We don't judge, we don't put down. Everyone here is here to support u and listen to u. *hugs* I hope you have a good day today honey and things will get better honey. Take care of you and bubs, have a nice long bath and try to relax a little. Go have a nice massage and take some time out for YOU. You deserve it hon

[firsttimer]

Thanks so much to you all for your kind and very supportive words. I am trying very hard to be strong and positive at the moment, as I whole heartedly agree that stress is no good for my baby....and considering I already have high blood pressure I don't want to add to it!

Am concentrating on being busy and not focussing on the "what if's!"... besides, has anyone ever noticed how exhausting it is to be stressed out and worried? Whew! I'm tired enough as it is....

Hopefully I can keep this "happy and stress-free" thing going!

[alittlegrubi]

Firstly, I totally understand your concern. I had a high risk screening result of 1:71for my pregnancy and another lady I work with had an even higher risk on the screening. When I got that news I went into depression until I worked through it.

Let me try and alleviate some of your concern. 1stly unless your ultrasounds showed that the baby was small for its gestationaly age the chance of downs is next to nothing. 2ndly if you are really concerned maybe you should ask for an amnio. They don't really go for amnios unless you are high risk - and having had one I wouldn't recommend it unless you absolutely need the peace of mind. Bear in mind that the results take 10 to 14 days as the quick results are reserved for an even higher risk than mine.

When I had my amnio, the doctor said that it was just to confirm normalicy - in otherwords he felt that everything was fine.

If you are only worried about Downs, unless your nuchal fold is over 2.5mm I wouldn't worry. If you are worried about other genetic diseases, possibly ask your Ob for an amnio referal as you want to ensure that you don't end up with PND.

I am sure everything will be fine, I still have a week to wait until I find out if everything is fine.

[Danni K]

I am also experiencing teariness, feeling up and down and worried. This is my second pregnancy and am 22 weeks and have just had my second u/snd with good results so felt I could relax and enjoy now but am feeling really down (have 3 yr old testing me big time at present 2!!). The preggie hormones are playing havoc I think. I'm probably more relaxed this time but I remember with my first I was so paranoid that something would happen or go wrong that I didn't enjoy the pregnancy as much as I should have. My first test for down syndrome came back with a 1:199 chance and we had to make the decision whether we wanted to test further or not. We went on to have a cvs test which after 2 painstaking weeks found out everything was ok thank god!! It is a difficult time and I assure you that your results are very low risk and nothing to be concerned about. Perhaps you should look into the amnio further but maybe you are too far along in your pregancy for this?? It is a worrying time being a mother as your baby becomes so precious and the protective and worrying mother instinct just seems to kick in! I strongly feel that you should look into speaking to your midwife and doctor again and ask to be referred to a specialist counselling service to discuss your concerns (your hospital should offer a good service). I suffered PND and now realise there is LOTS of help out there, you just have to persevere and someone WILL listen! All the best, I'm thinking of you and hope all goes well. Enjoy your precious gift, it truly is a magical time that we need to treasure and I'm sure it will all be ok!!