DH away at weeks 35/36 for 7-10 days??

[juleswa]

Hi Everyone,

Would love some opinions and advice here as I feel a bit confused with what we should be doing.

My DH is booked to go away when I'm around 35-36 weeks for about 10 days and I think I feel a bit nervous about this. This is our first and I know they normally say you have little chance of coming early with your first, but I also know that every woman is different and there are no hard and fast rules and I would consider that around and after that time, really anything can happen.

My fear is him not being there for the birth, I don't think I could handle that very well and don't want to go through it without him there. But then he could come and go and nothing may happen. I know no-one can tell me what's going to happen or when our bubs will be entering our world, but would love to hear some opinions and experiences.

Thanks heaps

[MantaRay]

I think that you have to be aware that you could go early, although I'm sure it's not likely. I went 2 days over with no 1 but no 2 surprised us at 36w+4. If your DH is going to go away, I suggest you find another support person and have them prepared jic, as well as organising the logistics of getting to hossy etc. And if you or your DH would be really devastated if he missed the birth, then I think he needs to not go on the trip. But having said that, if he misses it and you don't go into labour, make sure that he won't feel resentment. GL with the decision and the birth!

[AnyDream]

Hi I was faced with a similar situation, fewer days but the possibility is still there. It might depend on how far away your DH will be and how quickly he could get home again in that time. ie jumping on a flight btwn Australian capital cities only takes a few hours but internationally you're looking at a much longer delay.

I'd be asking this - is there a chance he could get out of this trip? If it's optional I think it's one time in the life of your marriage where you should be entitled to ask him to forego something for you. Sometimes people think they 'have to' do something when there's really another way around it. In my case it was not optional for my DH as the alternative was military prison (!) In any normal job I would've insisted on him staying with me.

If he does still decide to go, then you will need a plan B - including who's going to take you to the hospital and who's going to support you in labour. Like you say, it's fairly early but anything can happen and you need to be prepared for that. Remember 37 weeks is considered 'term' so it might also depend on how that 10 days falls against your dates.

I hope that helps.

[LimeSlice]

My DF works on teh mines, so is gone for 2 weeks and back for one. He happened to be here for his week off and my DD was smack bang in the middle...Well, I was 8 days late and he had to go back to work, so he went back and I spent the time wondering if I would have to do it by myself!! not happy jan!! lol

But I went in to labour and booked his flight home for him at 3.30 in the morning and rang his boss and told him what was going on. He got to the airport and home and still had time to sleep for a few hours while I was still in the early stages.

Its not an easy thing to do, but if you feel comfortable that he could come back if you needed, then its just a matter of you being aware when you start and gettin ghim back
Although at 36/37 weeks you should be a fairly sure bet of him being back from his trip before bubba comes anyway

Goo luck and I hope he isthere when you need him!!

[MantaRay]

That was great that he made it back in time LS. As I have quick labours my DH wouldn't be going anywhere. Luckily he had taken the day off the day I went into labour with DS2 as it was 3 hours all up, during afternoon peak, and he'd never have even made it home from work in time LOL!!

[Tobily]

I went at 36+3 with our first.
A reasonable percentage of babies will arrive in week 36/37, including first babies.

It's really a matter of what you're comfortable with but I would just be aware that there is a possibility, and it's not exactly tiny either.

[bluetree07]

I understand what you are going through because my husband is away at the moment on a two week work trip in NZ! Im 34 weeks and he is coming back when im 35 weeks.. he wouldnt get back in time if i went early.
i have been really nervous at times worrying about our baby coming while he is away :-(

hang in there jules and every one else whose partner is away.

i've had to accept things the way they are and its helped me feel more relaxed because theres nothing i can do about it, sometimes you have to let go of the reigns and justy let things be.

[blackduckies]

I agree with the other girls, does he really have to go away?
If so how far away is he?
Chances are you won't go early, but usually when you are hoping for something it goes the opposite way.
Do you have another support person to rely on just in case?
Good luck, I hope it all works out how you hope.

[satya]

I'd be encouraging him not to go. Lots of women with first bubs do go early. Someone I work with knows someone who had her bub 3 weeks early and had a 1 hour labour which resulted in bubs being born in the hospital carpark. Yes it was her first bub. Then again, her husband still missed the birth as he was in the hospital trying to get some help out to the car, so there's never any guarantee that they'll get there even if they are local when labour starts.

If he does have to go do like the others have said and have a good back up plan with someone you trust organised to come along and support you. No matter what happens you will cope - how does the song go - I am strong, I am invincible, I am woman.

[SamiH]

My husband travels weekly/fortnightly with work and can be away from 3 - 6 days depending on whether he has gone to Darwin, Perth, or more easily accessible Melbourne etc.

We have an agreement of no travel after 36 weeks, or other risky stuff like his love of dirt motorbike riding with his mates ....

Agree it depends on where he is actually going and how long it would take him to get back - and if it was for leisure i'd be telling him no way if work purposes, I think that time is ok - but only if he could get back fairly quickly if need be.

[juleswa]

Thanks Guys,

I might have to gear up my mum for the 'just in case', as much as it pains me to picture the labour without DH there. I never even gave a thought to asking someone else as a backup untill now cause him not being there wasn't really an option.

I think I'll let the issue sit for a bit more untill it does get closer and see how we're both feeling. I guess I can't also stress out from now about the unkown cause there's still a bit of time to go and i don't want to spend it stressing. We'll both have to make the decision within the next month or so.

I appreciate all the advice and support. I'll let you know how we go.

27 weeks today and 13 to go!

thanks again

Hope everything is well with everyone and