Yay, last night was the worst night of sleep yet. I had a really painful pelvis mixed with Braxton hicks and back pain. Not to mention the massive headache and feeling like my skin was boiling. Then I had the choice of breathing through nose, which would lead to snoring, or breathing through mouth, with swollen glands so it feels like I'm swallowing razor blades. Long story short, I don't think I had more than 1hr block of sleep all night, before having to try to get comfortable.

On another note though, I feel like an emotional wreck at the moment. One moment I'm fine, the next I'm snapping at dh or ds (for being an annoyingly clingy, tantrumy mummies boy), and the next I'm bursting in tears feeling like I can't do this anymore. I keep feeling like I just want to run away and maybe I'm not made to be a parent.

And of course second guessing myself all the time. Wondering whether its just pg related or has to do with my now untreated pnd.

And I hate cracking it with ds. But he is seriously testing me. I know it's normal 2yo behaviour. But the constant tantrums and squealing are really starting to get to me. And honestly I love that he wants me, but sometimes I want a break. And the constant need to be carried is taking its toll on my pelvis and back.

I guess I'm just writing this to get it out and to hear I'm not alone. I'm constantly trying to do the gentle parenting thing, but finding I'm failing because obviously I am just a horrible person who likes to keep my child in a constant position of submission.