End of April boy - hold back or send to school?

[LoveKnowsNoBounds]

We had always thought that we would hold DS back as many people we know seem to do that to give their child a better opportunity at school socially and for his education.

Now I'm not so sure. He is my first so I have no idea what to expect. I think he is above average. He talks very well and has a huge vocabulary. He has memorized most of his books. He can't write his name but is starting to trace. He makes friends fairly easily from what i can see.

A relative held her son back using advice given to her and her son is older than all of the kids and doesn't want to play with them because he says they are babyish? I don't want him to fall behind the pack and blame me later. So confused!

[Miss.September]

You could send him to school and see how he goes? If you find him struggling, maybe give him two years in prep?

FWIW - My brother was in the same boat and mum did send him to school. He struggled right through to yr 12. A teacher told mum when B was in year 8, that he would have been greatly benefited by staying back for that extra time. But I don't know where he was at developmentally before mum sent him to school. Good luck

[Reyna]

I think that kids ages are set for school grades for a very good reason, and unless there are good reasons to hold a child back (or advance them, for that matter), then they should be sent to school when they are at the correct age.

But that's just me!

[Lisa]

I was in the same boat as you with my DS1. I really should have held him back but he was begging to start school. He struggled the entire way and ended up repeating Yr 5 where he then started to fit in with the others.
I agree to seeing how he goes. Does the school you're planning to send him to offer introduction days? When my older kids started school they would go for 1/2 a day once a week to get them prepared for school and for the teachers to see where they fit.

[KimB]

With my eldest DD she started school at 4 but turned 5 only a few weeks later. We have had to repeat her in Year 9 and she is now doing heaps better. My boys didn't start until they were turning 6 and they have had no troubles what so ever. My DD2 turns 5 next January and I will be asking her preschool teachers if she is ready. If they decide not then I will hold her back as well. I have no issues with school starting age but I do go on what my child is capable of handling.

[diannescruffy]

It really does depend on the child. My DS#2 is mid April and I ended up putting him in two years of kinda and it was the best thing for him. How did he go at kinda?

Regards,
Dianne

[Taurean]

I'm an end of April baby and coped fine The only downfall, which had nothing to do with schooling, was that most of my friends turned 18 in our final year of high school so I wasn't 'leagally' allowed to join them at the nightclubs...not that it stopped me

PS: one of my close friends was an end of May baby and she got one of the highest scores at our school. She went on to do extremely well at uni and has been working in her dream job since finishing - she's a vet

[Olive]

DD2 is a mid feb baby and wont go to school until she 5 going on 6

[alioops]

PB in SA what you call Kinder is what we call reception, and kids have to be in reception at 5. Kindy (what you call preschool) is for 4yo and is subsidised by the state government, so very affordable. Most kids in SA graduate at 17 or having turned 18 in the later half of the year. But it is normal for there to be a mid year intake into reception here, and generally kids have friends in other age groups because many schools have combined classes. To me it is not about the social aspects of school, it is about where they sit academically. Many shy kids will never be truly socially ready.

[RhiChiChi]

You could send him to school and see how he goes? If you find him struggling, maybe give him two years in prep?

FWIW - My brother was in the same boat and mum did send him to school. He struggled right through to yr 12. A teacher told mum when B was in year 8, that he would have been greatly benefited by staying back for that extra time. But I don't know where he was at developmentally before mum sent him to school. Good luck

I was sent to school at 4.5 yo & IMO it was too young - socially immature and struggled throughout school. Sounds like your son however would cope well? Don't worry about him not being able to write his name yet - my sister is a primary school teacher and some can, some can't but she says that is what they are there for

[Beach Mama]

It's a really tough one hun, has he been going to kinder/child care? How does he cope with those? The jump to school is quite a bit one and the expectations teachers place on Preps depending on the school are quite big (sitting still, hands up, listening, writing etc, conforming etc) and I am a teacher so I know how concerning it is. I'm kind of glad Iz missed the cut off by being a May baby actually but it's hard to say without knowing your child who you know best. Maybe talk to the school - ask them what sorts of things they are specifically looking for in school readiness, and do a bit of reading yourself, there are some wonderful blog posts about school readiness around, will hunt them down for you if I can find them, I had a few on my FB page. Good luck hun it's a tough one.

[diannescruffy]

Just saw on your sig that your DS is turning 4 this year so is he going to kindy? He could always do 2yrs if he is not ready for school next year.

Regards,
Dianne

[berrme]

I would be sending him to school. I don't understand this notion of keeping children back just because they will be younger than other kids at school. There are always some kids younger than others. The prep year is designed to teach through play, it is especially for young children. Some kids will be starting school coming from homes where noone has ever read to them or taught them anything. Prep is supposed to help level those differences out in a more relaxed environment. If your DS struggles then he can do a second year of prep, but I just can't see how keeping him away from the other kids will help his social or academic development.

For what it is worth both my DSs (born Feb and April) will start prep in the year they are intended to, and unless there is some very good reason for her not to, then my DD who will be a June baby will too.

[diannescruffy]

Just saw on your sig that your DS is turning 4 this year so is he going to kindy? He could always do 2yrs if he is not ready for school next year.

Regards,
Dianne

[Pretty Butterfly]

See, this is where the state to state thing, and "kindy" confuse me!!!!

Here you couldnt legally enroll a 3 yr old to Kindy, BUT Kindy is the first year of school here, so formal education.

Is Kindy what we call preschool in NSW??
Preschool is for 3-5 yr olds here.
School is for 5-6 through to 17-18 here.
We have no "formal" schooling required till 5.

[~Kim~]

I don't have a boy, but DD is 9th May so I can understand your confusion. It took up the better part of last year for me.

We had an interview at a private school, which I didn't realise was a readiness assessment for Darcy as her birthday is late. She had to do a puzzle and some drawing. When we got there they told us a place was not guaranteed. When she did their 'IQ test' puzzle before the principal had even sat back at her desk and then did a drawing that surpassed some of the 2nd grade drawings on the wall outside they offered her a place on the spot. But to me that wasn't testing her. She loves to do those things.
In the end I have held DD back and she will start school next year. She's social and bright (and is as tall as a 7yo lol).

This was for a few reasons;
Some parents are holding their January and February babies back, so potentially Darcy who is still only four could have been starting school with kids who are already 6, and that age gap was far too large for my liking.
I have never heard of a child being disadvantaged by being sent later.
Social skills. Even though DD's are good she is very shy with some activities, I didn't want that to be detrimental at school for her.
12 months more of 'play' cannot be bad for her.

I had a meeting with her preschool teachers who are huge advocates of play based learning (as am I) and we discussed all of the above.
I also spoke to some of the other parents at preschool about their decisions. Apart from one ill informed and rather...hmmm can't think of a PC word to write here....mother there were all positive stories about real social readiness and the difference over the 12months in the child's confidence levels.

At the same time I know another mum who sent her July baby to school at 4 1/2 because according to her all the kids she knew that had been held back were 'precocious'. But that said I take that with a grain of salt as her own two are fairly hard to take.

I went early and excelled at school itself but was extrodinarily shy and I can't bare the thought of that life for my child.

hun. I know that isn't a definitive response but just thought I'd share my experience.

[ubba82]

Personally i would hold him back. While he may be socially ready now, in a couple of years he may struggle. Its easier and much more fun to do 2 years of kinder than repeat a year at school. All your friends go up and you have to make new friends with the younger kids kwim?

[Phteven]

If he's school ready and he wants to go I would send him. IMO there's no point in holding back a child unless they are demonstrably not ready.
Dino starts school this year at 4 going on 5. I asked his pre-school teachers if I should hold him back and they pretty much laughed at the idea - he's bright and he's emotionally and socially ready so holding him back wouldn't benefit him in any way.
I kind of feel sorry for the old kids in the class, it must be a bit of a blow to the ego to be in a room with children over a year younger who are at the same level as you and at the other end of school to be pretty much an adult and stuck in a routine designed for children seems a little unfair too.