Bit of background. Lachlan is my brainiac. Brainiac in the sense that you only have to show him how to do something once and he gets it. This has applied for all of his schooling. Last year and early this year his teacher was having to find him extra work to do as he was finishing the school work given to him well before the other kids in his class.
Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I started to get wind that he wasn't playing with anyone in the yard. His teacher then found him upset in the school yard because Kameron his big brother also wouldn't play with him. His teacher then asked the class who would like to play with Lachlan the following day and she said the whole class put up their hand. So for about a week the class as a whole including their teacher played together at recess and lunch, to help the kids get to know each other better.
Since then I know he plays with 2 girls in the yard, but I haven't heard of him playing with any boys. I know he was having issues with a couple of the boys in the yard, but he is a good story teller as well, and the teacher he had apparently reported to knew nothing about it.
Fast forward to today. R-6 assembly. If you talk in assembly you are sent to your teacher to sit at her feet. Guess who got sent to the teacher in assembly today. Yep Lachlan. His teacher looked at me and I mouthed "what the" and she shook her head.
Bell goes for end of day and the assembly breaks up and all the kids head back to their classes. I go in to pick Lachlan up and his teacher says "we need to talk" It turns out over the last couple of weeks Lachlan has not done any school work. For example today they did science, she then asks the kids to bring up their work. Lachlan had not put one mark on his page. Apparently this has been happening for a little while. She has been changing around the classroom i.e who sits with who, in the hopes that Lachlan will go back to being a head down bum up kid when it comes to school work but she said nothing is working. The only time he does his work is when he is sent to time out, which is a table by yourself within the classroom.
We had a bit of a discussion about the other kids in the class and I asked her if I could create a table of kids that I think he might work okay with. She let me. So we are now going to see how that goes. I got him home and asked him what he is going on and why isn't he doing his school work he said "X & Y disturb me" I said "mate, you've only be sitting with X & Y for half the day today"
I said "Why do you do you're work in timeout and not with the rest of the class" he said "No one disturbs me in timeout" so I asked him if he wanted to go to Grade 2, and of course he said he did so I told him that if he didn't start doing his school work again, he won't be allowed to go to Grade 2.
I put on fake waterworks about how his teacher and I were really upset that he isn't doing his school work and he seemed to listen.
Short of moving him into another class which I really don't want to do since he doesn't have many friends as it is. What other options could I try? I am thinking if this current seating situation doesnt' work, I am going to ask if he can sit on a table by himself or with one other good worker.
I really don't know what else to try, and I have no idea why he has suddenly stopped doing the school work which he loved.
You sound like you are doing everything you can and it is great that your DS's teacher is doing the same. Could it be that the children may be picking on him for being so smart? I wish I had some advice on what else you could try. Just want to wish you all the best.
my son is one of these kids that loves ot play with girls over boys but very boyish himself. He just likes their company i think acuse as a bub eh was very mucha mummies boy. As for work he is very articulate in what he does do when its a topic he loves and he gets frustrated with interruptions or if he feels ppl are comparing he gets let down seeing ppl steal ideas or have something that may seem better. It takes him a while to complete things but he does a good job trying his best is your son like this???... I dont think its a problem to work alone if he gets satisfaction out of completing work, as long as he plays with ppl in yard in my opinion.
Often bright children will dumb themselves down to "fit in" with other kids, they don't want to be seen as being different. I think putting him with kids who do work is a good idea, they can motivate each other.
Playing with only girls isn't that much of a problem, at his age they aren't as into gender differences and really as long as he has friends its good. Maybe invite a few other kids over for a play- one at a time to help him mix better? How are his social skills? Some children need more explicit teaching of social skills than others, PM me if you need ideas.
Yeah one little girl he has play dates with after school, has even slept there overnight during the last holidays!! I have tried to get him to another little girls house or vice versa, but the mother keeps fobbing me off. I don't know why cause we get along okay. I have known her since Kindy days. Lachlan gets upset that he can't go to the little girls house but I keep telling him that is up to her Mum as well not just me.
He is great socially, just can't seem to click in the school yard. Alot of the children in the class are just dropped off at the gates, so I never have an opportunity to meet the other kids parents. Today he was upset cause one little boy wouldnt' let him hold his car that he had brought in for show and tell, but alot of other children got to hold it.
Challenging/unusual behavior always tells us something. What do you think he is trying to tell you/his teacher by not doing his work all of a sudden? Could it be that he wants to sit alone and therefore he stops working so that he gets put in time out?
Is there anything that preceeds his not doing work or antecedents that the teacher has noticed?
You're already looking at environmental factors, which is great. What about physical or medical factors?
What does he mean when he says that others 'disturb' him? Is there anything in common the kids who disturb him have that could give you an idea as to what it is about them that is disturbing him? Or is it random in that any other kid could disturb him?
Sorry 101 questions lol. Just trying to thought provoke..
Does he tell you why he's not making friends in this class? Did he make friends in prep/kindy? Are there any of his prep/kindy friends in his class? You say he's social so there has to be another reason why he's struggling to gel with his classmates. Maybe because he's so bright, he's just having trouble connecting with them on his level.
I agree that it's a possibility that he could be dumbing himself down.. hence the no work. Do other children notice his abilities? He doesn't need to skip a grade does he?
Thanks Skeeta you have given me some food for thought.
I think with the disturbing it can be "any" kid that does it, but it is generally the boys in the class that do. I don't hear him complaining about the girls. We have a few rowdy ones in the class that talk etc so if they start up that is enough to put him off. Even in the mornings when I am in there with him and helping him to do sight words or readers, he will complain about it being to noisy or be engrossed with what the other kids are doing and not concentrating on the task at hand.
One of my friends is a SSO at the school and is quite often in Lachlan's class and I was talking to her after school yesterday. She said she had noticed that Lachlan is starting to become a part of the "rowdy crowd" and messing about when he isn't supposed to.
I chatted to his teacher also after school yesterday and again today. Yesterday was a much better day and she said he took himself to the time out table twice to do his school work. She didn't ask him to, he just got up and moved. She said she is happy for him to continue to do that if he wishes.
When I spoke to her today, he had had a brilliant day. He was settled down enough for her to test him on his reading. Something she hasn't been able to do for a little while cause of the lack of concentration on his behalf, and he has gone up 2 reading levels. She said it was just like the old Lachlan had come back.
Now I just have to hope he continues.
Skeeta - Nope he doesn't need to skip a grade, he only did 3 terms of reception last year, and cause he was doing so well they were going to recommend him going into Grade 1, if he wasn't going there already. His big brother is in Grade 2 and Lachlan had no problem reading Kameron's reader tonight at home. Kameron is 2 levels above Lachlan in reading.
Medically, I have often wondered about him right from when he was young. Quite often I have asked my Mum if she thought there was something wrong with him mentally. I've often had that "feeling" iykwim. Maybe cause he is so different to my other 2 boys. I don't know maybe he is to smart for his own good. Not that I belive he is gifted or anything like that maybe I might ask my SSO friend if there is any tests they could give him to investigate it a bit further.
As for friends he has never really said why he doesn't have many friends. Now that you have mentioned Kindy, I don't really recall him having many kindy friends either. I do remember him getting annoyed when other kids used to want to help him do puzzles though!!
Last edited by Astrolady; March 19th, 2010 at 09:48 PM.
Good to hear that he is back on track with his school work this week. It sounds like he's one smart cookie!
It also sounds like he doesn't like distractions and has difficulty tuning others out. Is he an auditory learner by any chance? (learns best by listening, not so much by reading written words, but hearing spoken words. Auditory learners like to read aloud, explain things, tend to follow spoken directions well, tend to like music, etc). If he is, he might find it difficult to ignore sounds and other people talking and almost impossible to concentrate written things in front of him while noise is present). Just a thought..
Does it bother him that he doesn't have many friends? Maybe role-playing with him some things to say and do to make friends, could help him in that department.
What are the things that make you feel like he could have something wrong mentally? Trust your instinct, you know him better than anyone and if you feel like there could be other issues, don't be afraid to follow them up. Even if there aren't any issues and he's just a special kind of kid, at least you know and can put those thoughts to rest - certainly no harm in investigating your mumma hunches.
And can I just say, you're doing a fantastic job. You're a dedicated mum and what more can a kid ask for?
If he's like me when I was little, I could focus on school or friends. I had to pick. If I wanted friends - no, scrap that - when my mother pushed me to be social, my schoolwork went down. I couldn't do both. School was quite easy, social life hard. But I was a lot less social than Lachlan seems to be from your posts. Even now, socialising takes a lot of effort and energy, but I enjoy it these days. I like challenges!
This "pushing" involved telling me off for daydreaming and reading, inviting her friends' children round to play with me when I didn't want to play and make out something was wrong with me, telling me everyone WANTED to play with me (my inference at the time: you're being mean by not playing).
Reply With QuoteKat. Just wanted to show you my support for trying all the things you have been. I hope you get some resolution soon.
Need some input
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