would this concern u about a kindy?

im sorry for all the kindy posts recently!
but my DS is 3 and i am currently trialing a new kindy as well as his old one as i am not sure im happy with program,,
anyway today at new kindy a few issues didnt sit well with me..
firstly when i dropped him this morning i stayed and watched him in playground where i admit he is a little ruff (as boys can be) but the older class play together and a group of 3 boys obviously close run around together and he tried to be part of the group,but they pushed and shoved him saying go away. he took this as fun luckily an wasnt hurt just thought was a game.. i let this go even though it annoyed me
then he must have grabbed a toy from another boy and when i turned around he started crying only to discover 2 boys were hitting him because of it. a teacher pulled them up he was fine... this also annoyed me. but he is good at standing his own ground but do i want him associating with so much ruff behavior?
I had a general chat with his group leader who seems lovely and she mentioned him wetting his pants and that she was concerned because he doesn't come and tell them and she doesnt want him in soiled pants obviously. this is no surprise to me, it happens he is toilet training..
then when i picked him up today (and although he is not very articulate) he said he was crying and when i asked him what happened he said his teachers angry and cross because he wet his pants and they told him its disgusting! now is it just me.. but should i be concerned.
oh i just wish i could watch from a distance to see how some staff really interact with children
now i dont know what to think.. could he be exaggerating? but i have never taught him the word "disgusting"..
thank you for reading this... but now im concerned.. do i mention something?.. or how can i without them now judging me or my son? will they continue to behave like this? is my gut telling me to leave?.. i swear i have looked at every kindy and the only one i like has a huge waiting list... but the more i think about this new kindy the more i still feel comfortable with his other one... (added bonus about new one is program seems more exciting they include food and its almost half the price!) sorry this is just doing my head in! love to hear opinions
thanks again for reading my mumble jumble!

Yeah, from what you have said I would be concerned. Have you ever done kinder duty? That's probably the best way to see how they interact with the kids without being intrusive.

I would be concerned about them telling him he was disgusting for wetting his pants...

The other stuff...probably not - the teacher stepped in promptly when he was having issues not much else they can do - boys are boys and toddlers hit lol I have this problem with Charlotte and she is only 18 months ;)

But I would probably make a point of discussing how they approach the wetting situation with the co-ordinator, see what her response is and keep an eye on it.
Most of all talk to Tariq and make sure he understands that he is not disgusting and that if he does have an accident he needs to let his teachers know so they can help him.

Good luck!

yep, i would be concernced about the disgusting remark. if the rough behaviour is ignored i would be concerned with that too.

Thats wrong. I would be complaining and not sending him to that kinder.

The digusting comment would bother me. Besides that though, there is the fact that you don't feel overly comfortable with that kindy... that is kind of a worry in itself, kwim?
How does DS feel about that kindy? I'm not sure from your post, it might be his first day in which case it's probably too early to tell... but if starts dragging his feet and not wanting to go that would be another sign things aren't all that good.
It is a tough dilemma. Good luck.

yeah i have to agree its really the disgusting comment thats upsetting me and obviously DS.
Although saying that he seems happy to go still... maybe ill give it a another week and maybe chat to the director? i just dont want to make things worse by speaking up iykwim.. but cant let it go

i would not be happy at all with the disgusting comment.
i've probably missed something, but why did you change him to this kindy? what was the problem with the old one?

I could not hold it in any longer and called and spoke with the director. she said she is happy to speak with teacher, but said i should bring it up friday which is his next day and she said she will follow up. but agrees she should not say that and its perfectly normal for kiddies his age to have accidents.. wonder whether teacher will fess up but i guess i will have better idea if i want to keep him there by her reaction anyway.
i moved him because he was not as happy with old kindy since he has had 3 new teachers in the past 4 months, so was feeling unsettled! before that i loved it and so did he.. im still there as he has been happy to go since the staff have been constant for the past several weeks but wanted to try another one and see which he prefers.

What did the teacher say?
I always feel abit nervous having to discuss things with them that Im not happy with.
but it sounds like your gut is telling you this place isn't right. I say trust your instincts.
I would not be happy with that comment at all,
plus, I found when I was searching, that some childcares were alot rougher in the playground than others. One place I went for a trial was really rough and the director mentioned it was just the group of kids there on that day. But I think it makes a big difference how involved the teachers are in their playtime, like do they join in the play, or do they just stand there.

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I could not hold it in any longer and called and spoke with the director... wonder whether teacher will fess up but i guess i will have better idea if i want to keep him there by her reaction anyway.

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Your poor son... hopefully things have been cleared up by now. You did the right thing by speaking to the staff, because if no one brings up bad practice, then it goes unnoticed a lot of the time. :wall:

I had once been on a tour of a prospective centre when I heard a staff member say to a 3 yr old ' if you don't sit at the table, i'll cut your legs off'! This is so not acceptable. How would that staff member manage worse behaviours?
I understand your concern about being a 'rough' group. Sometimes different combinations of children can have that effect. Staff should be aware of this and adjust the program accordingly to redirect the 'pack mentality' and use appropriate behaviour management.
If you can, I would encourage you to take advantage of the 'open door policy' that most centres have. You can find out just what really happens during your childs day by picking them up at differnt times of the day.
You were right to go to the director, how many other parents may have issues with the same person and not done anything about it??
You wouldn't put up with a dodgy mechanic working on your car - why should we put up with anything less than perfect from the people that care for our kids?