Finding me again

Im in a limbo place atm.

Have four beautiful children, a wonderful husband (well msot of the time :lol:), the white picket fence, the cat...but I feel a bit scared.

Knowing there are no more children to come :( and that my littlest one is 2 in January..I feel like all ive done for the last 9+ years has been for my children.

Who am I? What and who am I when my children have left to go to school?

I know that I have changed totally from what I was like prior to children (omg I shudder) but Im worried I'll sit here at look at the pictures on the wall and wait until 3pm to pick them up IFYKWIM.

How will I find me again?

there is so much more to you than your children Maz - yes, they are a huge and important part of your life - but they are not everything. you have a successful business that you can pick up and expand if you want. even if you choose not to stick with just the MCN covers, you obviously have a talent there that you've barely scratched the surface of. you've got business skills that you didn't have before. you have a lot on your side

yes, when M starts kinder/school, you'll feel a little lost without a child to run after - but you are a strong and innovative person - you will find ways to fill your time that is to the benefit of you and your family. your family will always be your priority - it's in your nature to nurture - but you have skills and motivatioin - you just have to work out, when the time comes, what you want to do with those. it will take a while to get a hang of the "new" time without kidlets - but you'll make more of that time than you think. at the moment, you have to fit your hobby/business in around your kids and late at night - when they're all off during the day, you'll have your days to do things, and your time with your kids will be fruitful. your nights will be yours - to work if you want, spend time with DH (if you want lol).

hugs hun - i can only imagine how this must feel - after only months i'm thinking the same kinds of things - 9 years would make it seem a huge and almost insurmountable hurdle

BG

I know how you feel, atm I am going through some sort of mid life crisis and feeling "what is the point of me?" I will never have more children so that whole phase of my life has gone and it all feels very empty and pointless.
Sorry that didn't help but I do know exactly where you are coming from.

I was at home with the kids for 10 years before I had a job. For me, working outside the house was what helped me become 'me' again - I got to see & speak to adults (!) who related to me as 'Jas' not just as 'Mum' or as '___'s mum'.

Not that you have to work outside of home, I think anything outside of home & away from the kids - a hobby group, a course, work - will do it.

From what I have read of your posts Maz, you're a pretty strong person & it might be a hurdle but one you will clear no worries :)

Mrsmac :hug: it's not all for nothing you have 4 gorgeous kids who love you. I said I had to have 4 so one of them at least would look after me when I 'm old :rofl: so that's not pointless, is it?

I am nervous like you about what is after being a SAHM. I just look at my mother who went back and did some year 12 units after eaving school in year 9 and is now doing a carer's certificate. It might not sound like much but because she is majorly dyslexic she has been told most of her life she is stupid! I am so proud of her and I hope after my children go to school i can go to university.

Oh Maz, what you are going through is what we all go through I reckon. I cant imagine how daunting it would be after 4 kidlets at home, but I know after 1` kid at home I felt like, well he is 3 now, kindy next year, then school, who the hell am i and what am i gonna do, I am redundant!

It has taken all of this year to start finding myself again, working out who I am apart from a mum and a wife, I thought I'd never work myself out, but here I am loving life atm discovering new things about myself now that I have time for myself. I hae decided to do a BA at Open Uni and do it all at my own pace over the next few years, and I'll volunteer at DS school and kindy and sports, i think that shall kep me busy for at least the next 5 years. It feels good to have some sort of a plan for the next few years.

You have a great business to keep you busy only now you can work during school hours and have the nights for leisure, whether it reading a book or doing a course, whatever you enjoy.

Your kids will always need you hun, you will never be redundant, you will always be needed for something. My mum has us 4 girls, I am 26 and my youngest sister is 17, we all still need her all the time, and she has 3 grandsons who always want a share of her time too, she is just as busy as when we were kidlets, if not busier!

I think we all get nervous about what happens after the SAHM life. But as BG has already said. There is so much more to you than being a mum, maz. You have an amazing talent with your MCNs. Although I am not a MCN user, I can still appreciate good talent kwim. You may find when your children are in school that, that will be your 'time to shine' kwim? You can do anything you want to, because for the past however many years you've been a mum & a wife and your life has revolved around making your family happy. But what about maz? What is it that makes you happy? I guess that's what you have to find out. I know it's a bit daunting. I already think about it and Ava is only 18 months old lol. :hug: babe. I have said it before and i'll say it again, you are a fantastic mother! And I only wish I had at least 1/2 the patience and grace that you do with your children (whether you actually believe that or not lol ) and I am sure no matter what you do you will shine ! xox

:think: Ithink thats the problem....i feel like im only know as mum and as you said BG I am more then that.

Ive decided that I might start doing the gym then...get back into sport. God how I loved to run when I was younger..its good for the soul.

What a bloody good idea...sorry brain wave has just hit me (thanks so much girls). I might go back to tafe and get a certificate in dressmkaing or something along those lines. I did one or 2 glasses of sewing at school then dad made me do wood work and boy themed classes. I love sewing and would love to know so much more.

First step...finding my love of things again..and becoming Maz again :lol:

Oh Maz. I feel the same as you ((hugs)).

A lot of my friends have older kids and they seem to be finding themselves again, and I feel left behind, but life after being a SAMH is very scary..particulary knowing that I have no great passion, qualifications or talent. Geez I sound useless lol

Enjoy your come back...and run girl run

Maz - yep, its all about finding our passions again (other than children)

Bekz - thats what worried me, i dont know what I want to be when I grow up yet, I dont have any huge passions other than my DS, I dont really have a social life... but I am slowly gaining a social life (very slowly LOL) and have discovered a few good passions. Still dont know what Iwant to be when I grow up though, dont think I ever really will. All I ever wanted was to have a family of my own, I have done that now.....what next