Just needed to get it all out **UPDATED**
Sorry if this all seems jumbled up. I'm not even sure If this is where I should post this. I’ve quietly been driving myself crazy over the last few days and decided I need to get it all out. As some of you know we have been trying for number 6. AF arrived back properly in Feb but since my post-partum stopped I have had spotting on a regular basis, but nothing that I would have really considered a period. Ironically, according to ff during those nine months I ovulated 4 out of 5 times. I put this down to tiredness, heat, etc. Well, since AF has returned it has been full-force. Fast and furious for 3 days – no light medium, heavy, just full-on from the word go. At first I thought it was just my body getting back to normal, but when the second one came just as bad I thought I should go and see my GP.
I didn’t see him for my 6 week check-up, I went back to the hospital for it since I had been in shared-care. At the time I was without a car from an accident and getting to him on public transport would have been a nightmare. The check up consisted of a couple of questions and a bit of a feel around to check that my uterus had contracted and that was it. I did ask why I hadn’t had an Anti-D injection after having Jacob and was told I had it during my pregnancy and if I had needed it after birth I would have been given it. Now, I was positive I hadn’t one at all. With all the hooha about the car accident at the time I didn’t really follow it up properly. Around Christmas I was thinking about it again and after a lot of calls back and forth to the hospital, they inform me that on my records it states that I had the injection at one of my doctor visits. Now I knew that wasn’t the case since he has always sent me to the hospital to have it. So now I’m freaking out about not having the injection and I had no idea what blood type Jacob was.
So, I finally get to my doctors appointment last week since Jeff had the week of and I could go in “normal†hours. So, I tell him that we have been trying and nothing so far, but I think I have really only had the two periods and hand him all the info I printed of from ff that shows me o’ing during the other months. I tell him that I’m also freaking out about not having the Anti-D injection and he jumps on the phone and finds out Jacob’s blood group from pathology at the hospital. Finally, I know – Jacob is A- . He sends me for a complete blood work up and a pelvic ultrasound so see what’s going on in there. Of course things never go quickly. While the blood work was done straight after the appointment I had to wait another 4 days before I could have the scan done.
The scan was horrible. I had this horrible lady who actually said, “So you have 5 children and you’re actually trying for 6†This wasn’t a question – it was a statement made in total disgust. So here I was not only trying to not burst into tears, but not pee myself. The scan hurt like hell. It felt like she was actually trying to push the darn thing into me and kept saying “does that hurt?†Since I was already on the defensive with her I kept saying no. When it was finally over she handed me my slip to take to the desk and walked out – that was it. I had my doctor’s appt the next day and all my blood work came back fine – nothing going on there and my prog levels were post ovulation. Ironically, the scan report wasn’t back. So he calls and they tell me it’s not done yet even though I had told them when I was seeing my doctor. So, I go home happy that my blood work was ok and feeling pretty good that I o’ed. A couple of hours later, he rings me to let me know that they have found something on my scan and he wants me to see a specialist. Well, my little bubble of happiness just went pop. He organized for my referral and scan pics to be at reception the next day so I could pick the up.
So, me being me, picks up the scan and referral and of course opens them to see what they scan. On the scan they found a large significant solid mass that they believe is enveloping my left ovary as it wasn’t sighted at all on the scan. It is suggested that it should be removed as soon as possible. The letter states that there was one found in October 03 in a similar place so they have based their estimate of minimal growth on that. Unfortunately, I had that cyst removed in October 03 and lost miscarried the pregnancy. So I decide to call my doctor back and be honest that I opened the scan and read the report. I remind him that I had the cyst removed at the Royal Women’s in October 03 and on subsequent scans the cyst hadn’t returned. He then goes through all the scan reports in my file from my pregnancy with Jacob and says he will make sure that the specialist has a copy of all of those for my appt. So, I get to wait now until the 12th May.
In a way, the scan has solved some mysteries already. It explains why I only o’ed 4 out of 5 times since it’s most likely that my left ovary can’t release it’s eggs. It also explains the “stitch†I have that comes and goes in my left side which I had just shrugged off and why the lady doing the scan kept asking me if it hurt where she was pushing.
Thank you if you have got this far in reading. It has taking me a couple of days to get the nerve to get all of this out. While I have never been concerned of what other people think of me wanting a large family, I’m always aware that I have been lucky in having my boys when some couples struggle to have one or can’t have children. I’m also terrified of going to the specialist in case he is someone just like the “scan lady†who thinks that I’ve had enough, and doesn’t look at things from the view of me having more children.
