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Thread: Just needed to get it all out

  1. #1

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    Default Just needed to get it all out **UPDATED**

    Sorry if this all seems jumbled up. I'm not even sure If this is where I should post this. I’ve quietly been driving myself crazy over the last few days and decided I need to get it all out. As some of you know we have been trying for number 6. AF arrived back properly in Feb but since my post-partum stopped I have had spotting on a regular basis, but nothing that I would have really considered a period. Ironically, according to ff during those nine months I ovulated 4 out of 5 times. I put this down to tiredness, heat, etc. Well, since AF has returned it has been full-force. Fast and furious for 3 days – no light medium, heavy, just full-on from the word go. At first I thought it was just my body getting back to normal, but when the second one came just as bad I thought I should go and see my GP.
    I didn’t see him for my 6 week check-up, I went back to the hospital for it since I had been in shared-care. At the time I was without a car from an accident and getting to him on public transport would have been a nightmare. The check up consisted of a couple of questions and a bit of a feel around to check that my uterus had contracted and that was it. I did ask why I hadn’t had an Anti-D injection after having Jacob and was told I had it during my pregnancy and if I had needed it after birth I would have been given it. Now, I was positive I hadn’t one at all. With all the hooha about the car accident at the time I didn’t really follow it up properly. Around Christmas I was thinking about it again and after a lot of calls back and forth to the hospital, they inform me that on my records it states that I had the injection at one of my doctor visits. Now I knew that wasn’t the case since he has always sent me to the hospital to have it. So now I’m freaking out about not having the injection and I had no idea what blood type Jacob was.
    So, I finally get to my doctors appointment last week since Jeff had the week of and I could go in “normal” hours. So, I tell him that we have been trying and nothing so far, but I think I have really only had the two periods and hand him all the info I printed of from ff that shows me o’ing during the other months. I tell him that I’m also freaking out about not having the Anti-D injection and he jumps on the phone and finds out Jacob’s blood group from pathology at the hospital. Finally, I know – Jacob is A- . He sends me for a complete blood work up and a pelvic ultrasound so see what’s going on in there. Of course things never go quickly. While the blood work was done straight after the appointment I had to wait another 4 days before I could have the scan done.
    The scan was horrible. I had this horrible lady who actually said, “So you have 5 children and you’re actually trying for 6” This wasn’t a question – it was a statement made in total disgust. So here I was not only trying to not burst into tears, but not pee myself. The scan hurt like hell. It felt like she was actually trying to push the darn thing into me and kept saying “does that hurt?” Since I was already on the defensive with her I kept saying no. When it was finally over she handed me my slip to take to the desk and walked out – that was it. I had my doctor’s appt the next day and all my blood work came back fine – nothing going on there and my prog levels were post ovulation. Ironically, the scan report wasn’t back. So he calls and they tell me it’s not done yet even though I had told them when I was seeing my doctor. So, I go home happy that my blood work was ok and feeling pretty good that I o’ed. A couple of hours later, he rings me to let me know that they have found something on my scan and he wants me to see a specialist. Well, my little bubble of happiness just went pop. He organized for my referral and scan pics to be at reception the next day so I could pick the up.
    So, me being me, picks up the scan and referral and of course opens them to see what they scan. On the scan they found a large significant solid mass that they believe is enveloping my left ovary as it wasn’t sighted at all on the scan. It is suggested that it should be removed as soon as possible. The letter states that there was one found in October 03 in a similar place so they have based their estimate of minimal growth on that. Unfortunately, I had that cyst removed in October 03 and lost miscarried the pregnancy. So I decide to call my doctor back and be honest that I opened the scan and read the report. I remind him that I had the cyst removed at the Royal Women’s in October 03 and on subsequent scans the cyst hadn’t returned. He then goes through all the scan reports in my file from my pregnancy with Jacob and says he will make sure that the specialist has a copy of all of those for my appt. So, I get to wait now until the 12th May.
    In a way, the scan has solved some mysteries already. It explains why I only o’ed 4 out of 5 times since it’s most likely that my left ovary can’t release it’s eggs. It also explains the “stitch” I have that comes and goes in my left side which I had just shrugged off and why the lady doing the scan kept asking me if it hurt where she was pushing.
    Thank you if you have got this far in reading. It has taking me a couple of days to get the nerve to get all of this out. While I have never been concerned of what other people think of me wanting a large family, I’m always aware that I have been lucky in having my boys when some couples struggle to have one or can’t have children. I’m also terrified of going to the specialist in case he is someone just like the “scan lady” who thinks that I’ve had enough, and doesn’t look at things from the view of me having more children.


  2. #2

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    Awww Nat!!! Yu poor Chook! I really hope this all turns out to be of minimal fuss. Then there is the unwanted opinion of ppl who are supposed to be helping!

    I hope you can keep trying for #6 when all of this is over, I would love to hear Jacob is going to be a big brother!

    Heaps of hugs
    Tanya

  3. #3

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    Grrrrr at the scan lady - she has no business making comments like that, very unprofessional if you ask me.

    I hope you get a really good Gyno and he can sort this out for you. Besides, when you choose to have 6 babies it is not a decision you take lightly, so you know what you're doing by wanting another and everyone else can jump in the creek!

    Good luck with your next appointment.

  4. #4

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    I think its fantastic that you have 5 children they are such a blessing to have. Everything will be ok just think postive and remember you have a loving healthy family. what more could you ask for. Stuff the scan lady people like that really annoy me. out of line.hay in there and chat when ever you want it makes you feel better to vent. Goodluck.

  5. #5

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    reading things like that really make me angry :fuming: Who are people like that to assume they either a) know how you feel; b) know what's best for you and your family. How dare she judge you! What a rude *****!

    I hope your appt goes really well and that you get the answers/solutions you need. Try not to obsess too much until then (easy to say I know - I wish I could take my own advice )

  6. #6

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    Oh Nat hon, Im so sorry I hope your spirits are a bit higher today.

    That ***** I would of firstly said yeah and......... with the remark of the 5 kids and wanting a 6 it's not her business it's yours and DH's, no one else's if you want another then go for it angel, you're an ace Mum and don't let anyone else tell you any diff.

    2ndly I would of hit her .... :fuming:

    In all seriousness, hon I hope all works out for you, and I'll be thinking of you on the 12th. O

  7. #7

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    Thanks for your replies girls. I must admit I slept better last night after getting it all out. Basically just trying to keep myself in a happy place until the 12th.

  8. #8

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    I was a single mum for the first 2 years of DS life. And so many people judged me. It is really sad and you know what it is there problem not yours. I remember a day i was so mad because i wanted to book my son into a private pre school but they woulnt take him because I was living with my current partner. if they knew my whole situation instead of judging me then they would have taken him. But they turned him away. i was so angry. so dont feel bad life is full of judgemental peoplebut at the end of the day they dont know you or your situaion so ingnore people like that. They have no right to judge. hugs to you and your wonderful family.

  9. #9

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    Can you make a complaint about the lady? I would quite honestly! I am so sick of sonographers who are soooo insensitive! It's like HELLO! They deal with women who are possibly scared of losing their baby, people who are desperate for a new baby and I've even heard of horror stories for women who have unwanted pregnancies! Its a job that requires sensitivity, and the common trend is they don't have any! Makes me :fuming:

    I hope the 12th goes really well, and I hope this is one step closer to you holding your 6th bundle of joy in your womb

    *hugs*
    Cailin

  10. #10
    Tigergirl1980 Guest

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    Oh Nat you poor thing. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :fuming: to that sonographer, what a cow. I think you should make a complaint against her too. And pfffffffft to her comment about you going for #6, it's none of her business and she doesn't know your sitaution either, so up her butt. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks ok? If you guys are happy then that's all that matters. I think it's wonderful and only natural that you would want to have more kids with Jeff.

    Good luck for the 12th, I hope everything turns out ok. If you ever need a lift somewhere I'd be happy to take you, just give me a PM or an e-mail Take care

  11. #11

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    Nat - Grrr at the lady, some people seem to need to open their mouths and say what they are thinking instead of keeping it closed :fuming: It`s none of her business how many children you have - in saying this I`m also getting strangers telling me "I will not be trying for any more", so I know how your feeling.

    I really hope all works out for you at your appointment and you get to TTC #6 very soon.

  12. #12

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    Nat huge *hugs* to you. I can't believe how that woman spoke to you. You sounded so brave when you were in pain, and to be upset emotionally too, you showed huge restraint.
    All the best for the 12th May

  13. #13

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    Hugs to you Nat.

    I fully understand how you are feeling. I saw a doctor last year after my early miscarriage in November who said something along the lines of: "you have four why do you want anymore"?....

    Well, I said if you need to ask that you obviously haven't got any children. ( I of course won't be going back to her!)

    I am sorry that you were left to feel so low at the hands of a health 'professional' that quite frankly should have known much better.

    I hope that your appointment on the 12th goes well and that soon you are on the road to your much wanted and deserved 6th child.

    Love to you,
    Deb

  14. #14
    Colleen Guest

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    Awww you poor thing!

    What a &*tch that Scan lady was, some people shouldnt have rights to work in such a people friendly place iykwim?

    Thinking of you on the 12th

    Take Care

  15. #15

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    I think she was just jealous. :smt016
    You go girl! You have more genes in the genepool that she ever will!

  16. #16

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    *UPDATE*
    Well I had the appointment with the specialist last Friday and I'm booked in fo a laparotomy on Monday the 22nd May to have the cyst removed. Unfortunately it has grown in the last 6 weeks or so - it's about the size of a coconut. The specialist is confident that he can remove the cyst without any damage to the ovary and that I should be able to conceive as there are no other reasons at the moment why I'm not getting pregnant.
    I would have updated sooner but I've been a little down the last few days. Because my abdomen is distended and I keep needing to pee, I've had people asking my if I'm pregnant and it's really starting to get to me so I've just been keeping to myself and staying home. I pushed myself out the door this afternoon to wander around a shopping centre just to get out of the house. I think I'm also a little scared because the hospital I have to go to for 3 days isn't really close to home so my family won't just be able to pop in.

  17. #17

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    Best of luck and wishing you a very speedy recovery. Look after yourself.

    Cheers,
    Dan.

  18. #18

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    Thanks Dan

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