Home birth of my DS1 (long!)
Here is my birth story for my DS1. I wrote it shortly after his birth, and have edited it today for posting here after a request from a BB member to see more birth stories....
In the euphoric moments after my son’s birth, as he was placed on to my bare stomach for the first time, I noticed how different he looked to his sister upon her birth. DD's was a very different birth. She entered the world, crying, in the birthing suite of a regional hospital, after I was dosed with synto. DS entered the world in our lounge room. His father and two midwives were the only other people present.
I had felt my first contraction at 6.45am that day, 4 days after my EDD. It was a Monday, and DH was getting ready for work. DD was playing happily in the lounge room. There had been no lead up, no niggles, or mild contractions during the night. As I lay in bed trying to sleep a little longer before rising to take DH to work, I felt a strong contraction. Just like that. Out of the blue. It was unmistakable. I called out to DH ‘I don’t think you will be going to work today’. He was shaving, and obviously in denial. He said that he would continue to get ready for work, go to the office and hang about and that I could call him when I went in to labour..blah, blah. :rolleyes:
I rolled out of bed and had a shower. I told DH that there were things that needed doing around the house, such as vacuuming, to prepare for our home birth. I even had a ‘to-do’ list to refer to. I wanted him to stay home. DH said that he couldn’t stay home just to vacuum. I started to clean the toilet. As I bent over the toilet, I felt a strong contraction. I continued to prepare the house for my home birth. DH eventually relented and began vacuuming.
By 8.15am, I had convinced DH that going to work was not a good idea. I felt that the labour was progressing quickly, and i asked him to call the midwives. By now, I had to stop and lean forward with each contraction. My ‘to-do’ list got pushed aside. The kitchen would have to remain as it was – dirty dishes and all. DH phoned our DD's child care centre and they said there was space for her. DH began to cook fried rice to pack for her lunch. I was in the lounge room, having totally abandoned my house cleaning efforts.
I had dressed in a cool, long cotton skirt and short-sleeved top but I was feeling really hot. I decided to retrieve the digital camera and video camera. As I bent down to open the cupboard, I experienced a very strong contraction. My lower back ached. I called DH to help alleviate the ache. I leaned over on all fours and he attended to my lower back, using a technique that a massage therapist had taught me. It alleviated the ache instantly. DD, who was watching cartoons on the ABC, asked ‘Daddy, what are you doing to Mummy?’ DH returned to the fried rice, and I said, exasperated, ‘Why didn’t you just make her a sandwich?!’:wall: I felt that I needed him close by, and focused on me.I tried to make myself comfortable on the couch, alternating between kneeling on it and standing on the ground, leaning over the side of the couch. I was starting to feel anxious at the prospect of DH leaving me alone to take DD to child care. I was not sure when the midwives would arrive. I didn’t want to be alone.
At about 9.10, one midwife quietly entered the house. Blessed relief! I was so happy to see her. The other arrived 10 minutes later. They both greeted me before quickly and quietly setting up their equipment on the coffee table. At 9.30am, DD and DH left the house. I felt OK about him going now that the MW were with me. As I watched DD leave, I felt a tinge of sadness. The next time that I saw her I would be mother to another child. I felt content that she was happy to leave me though. I knew that she would be safe and happy at child care. I also knew that I would birth easier if I wasn’t worried about her.
I commented that we could turn the TV off now that DD had gone. I was feeling irritated by the noise. I stayed on the couch and one MW made sure that my water bottle was within arms reach. They asked me a few questions, and I got the impression – from their actions- that the birth was not too far away.
DH returned at about 9.45am. I was very happy to see him. I could feel a lot of pressure 'down there'. One MW brought the mattress in to the lounge room, and covered it in a plastic sheet and then a cotton sheet. DH assisted her to place it perpendicular to the couch. I climbed down on to the mattress, and moved on to my knees, leaning forward on to the couch. As the sensations intensified, with shorter breaks between them, I began to repeat an affirmation that I had started saying to myself a week prior to the labour: ‘My body moves easily and gently through the birthing process. My baby is born peacefully and safely at home’. At times, my legs began to feel very uncomfortable and weak, as though my weight was too much for them to bear. I often struggled to find a comfortable position. I rested deeply between contractions, and I continued to focus intently on my breathing. I felt no need or desire to talk. I occasionally made eye contact – or smiled weakly – at DH. I said very few words. DH and I remained touching – holding hands.
The MW quietly went about their tasks. I asked DH to retrieve the rose quartz crystal that had been presented to me at a blessing ceremony at my Pregnancy Yoga Group. I held the rounded, smooth pink stone in my hand and recalled some of the inspiring and heartfelt words that the women had addressed to me. I also thought about my yoga teacher, and recalled her instructions for staying connected with the breath. By this time, I was lying on my side on the mattress, between contractions. As a contraction began I would feel the urge to be upright, so I would rise on to my knees and lean my upper body on to the seat of the couch.
I felt the urge to go to the toilet. An intense feeling, but also a sign that my baby would be here soon. A MW helped me to my feet. The other spoke to me in the hallway. She said that I could begin to push if I wanted to, when I returned from the toilet. She said I could return to breathing through the contractions if pushing didn’t yield results. While on the toilet, I had a contraction. One midwife asked me to wash my hands, and feel inside my V for the baby’s head. I could feel it! Not very far in at all. She asked if I could feel the lip of the cervix and described what it would feel like. I said that I couldn’t feel it. ‘Good’ she replied. All was progressing well. It took me a while to leave the toilet, but when I did I returned to the mattress and lay on my left side. I had already removed my skirt and at some point my underwear had been removed. I began to push with each contraction. After a few pushes, i felt in to my V again – the baby’s head had descended further! I couldn’t wait to meet my son. The air con had been turned off to ensure that the baby entered a suitable temperature. I felt as though the pushing stage dragged on and on. I have no concept of how long I pushed – was it 10 minutes or 30? Surely no longer than this. Time stood still. The anticipation and desire to meet my baby was my main focus. The sensation of stretching was very intense, more ‘intense than I remembered it being at DD’s birth. One MW held a warm face washer on my perineum. The other was preparing to ‘catch’ the baby. Suddenly, she raised her voice a notch. She sounded serious as she told me to really push. I knew she wouldn’t ask it if she didn’t mean it, so I tried to stop holding back. I knew that she was asking me to push harder for a reason, so I focused on my baby. Somehow, I knew that my baby was OK though. I wasn’t paniced. The stretching sensation intensified. I said ‘Oh, it’s killing’ and just as I was focusing on the sensation, the MW was holding my baby out to me. I was still focused on pushing, but here was my baby! She helped me put him on my naked stomach. It was 11.19am.
There is no feeling that matches the experience of seeing your baby for the first time –feeling his body, his warmth, seeing his face, smelling him, watching him root around for a feed. DS's arrival was peaceful. Within minutes he was attempting to suckle. I was on cloud nine. I couldn’t stop smiling. I held his beautiful body, lost in the moment. No other reality existed. I could have stayed in that moment forever. I gushed to the midwives ‘thank you’. I spoke to DS. The bliss continued. I can barely remember birthing the placenta. Apparently, my membranes ruptured right at the end.
Before too long, I showered quickly while DH held DS in our bedroom. One MW assisted me, and helped me to dress in comfy clothes. Then I joined DH and our beautiful son in the bedroom. We stayed in the room, on the bed until DH had to leave to pick DD up at 3pm. The MW checked in on us twice. I could hear them talking softly outside. DH and I watched our beautiful baby sleep. He was wrapped in a red bunny rug that had also wrapped DD as a baby. In those early hours of his life, he suckled from my breast. I didn’t take my eyes off him.
It would be another 6 days before we named him...
