Just need a bit of support/vent!

So it's now coming up to my first BF goal - which was to make 3 months. And instead of being all excited and proud like I was a few days ago now I'm just a bit over it all. I'm fairly sure my periods returned just after my post-birth bleeding stopped. And then three weeks later another few days of period like bleeding for a few days - and an absolute horror few days of BF with super super sore nipples/areola and a fussy baby. Took almost a week for me to get back on good terms with BF.

Fast forward another three weeks and I've got all the signs of another period coming on - complete with the horror BF again. So I go to my chest freezer - where I've been expressing every time I can when the BF has been in it's good weeks - and I find that the stupid handyman who was around here a few days ago has turned it off at the power point and not turned it back on. All of my expressed milk is off. I had been hoping to use it incase I had super sore nipples at any stage (like NOW) and also when I start TAFE two nights a week (on MONDAY!)

I just feel completely deflated that all that effort has gone to waste. BF has not been easy at all for me, I don't feel it "fair" I've got AF when I am exclusively BF including lots of night feeds and that it affects my boobs so much, I also had a traumatic birth and a painful pregnancy with pelvic issues, and I'm just trying really hard not to consider this the "last straw". Not that I really think I would quit BF, but the thought has crossed my mind.

AWWWWW NOOOOOOOO! You lost your milk stash, that sucks!

I just have to say, well done for perservering through so much difficulty! :clap:

Just wanted to send you a huge :hug:

It sounds like you have been doing it very tough. Not going to give you any suggestions cos only you can make the decision as to whether to continue BF or not - but well done for making it this far - be proud of the wonderful job you have done

oh no!!! Man I can totally understand how disheartening that can be.

Sweetheart :hug: You have done a fabulous job thus far. I remember how draining and hard it was too. I just set myself a goal of one day at a time.
Get through the next 24hrs and you'll be surprised how quick it goes.

:hug: That sucks you lost all you EBM :( I agree with Kim take one day at time :hug:

Hope you get your stash up again soon :)

:hug: i can certainly see why you're feeling a bit deflated.

if you do keep BFing i hope you find it gets a bit easier & is a bit kinder to your body, i dunno if it happens for everyone but my goal initially was also 3 months & i never thought i'd make it. i even posted in here how i really didn't enjoy it & didn't think i'd ever be able to say that i loved it like others seem to. but somewhere along the line it got easier without me even realising it & the thought of weaning at some stage in the future now freaks me out a bit!

I too have not found breastfeeding easy so you are definitely not alone. I used to get so nervous everytime DD was to wake for a feed as I would be thinking 'oh no -how is it going to go? Is she going to latch well, is she going to eat well'
My initial goal was 2 weeks b/feeding and then it was 4 weeks, 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks , 16 weeks and now i am at 18 weeks and still breastfeeding is not easy (although it is certainly much easier than at the start) and just think - i have to cart around my stupid b/feeding pillow wedge thingo EVERYWHERE as i cannot feed DD without it - she is starting to get too big for the pillow but i will use it until she completely hangs of it i think. I have mothers in shopping centres (in the mothers room) just look at me when i whip out this big blue pillow to feed baby and embarrassingly enough most times DD refuses to eat while out shopping so not only do i look silly for having this pillow but i also look silly cause half the time i don't know when DD is actually hungry or tired.. I have had a few ladies even say 'first child huh'...

I don't know when i will stop b/feeding but usually one day at a time is how i go.. Oh and did you hear of a cream for your nipples called 'Lansinoh'? It is great for when you feel that your nipples are on fire and the best thing is is that you don't have to wipe it off before you feed baby

All the best, i just wanted to tell you that you are certainly not the only one out there having a mighty hard time (hoping my crazy post will make you feel better)
:D:D:D

:hug: hun, I think you will likely find that over time your body comes to a better balance with bfing and returned fertility. So :crossfingers: it won't be quite as painful as last time AF returned, or at least it won't as you get further down the track.

You might not feel like celebrating right now, but it sounds like a reward is definitely in order for reaching your first goal of 3 mths. Treat yourself to a pedicure!

You've done really well to persevere and it will be getting easier from here on.

Just wanted to say thanks for those that replied! I did post my issue on my FB page and all I got was a bunch of comments about how easy FF is, and their kids are fine, what am I worried about kinda rubbish. So coming here I felt at least people knew how important BF and having EBM was for me!

The pain is fading slowly again and I'm back expressing again to make up for my lost supplies and I'll live to BF another day :dance:

xJodyx

OMG..I just noticed I'm a RAK Recipient. That's so generous of someone! Makes me almost cry!

Jodie :hug: and YAY for being RAKD!!!
When my mum feeds DS EBM she calls it the precious nector! :lol: I spose she understands how important it is to me and the effort we go through to pump etc...
Sorry, you lost your great stockpile of EBM - I am trying to get some frozen myself ATM so totally understand where you are coming from. Maybe we should hook the electrician up to a pump for a while, at least for a few days and see how his nipples go???
Also, you were unlucky to get AF so quickly - wench isn't she? I really hope things continue to settle down for you. You are doing an amazing job! And well done for persevering, your bub will reep the benefits for sure. :hug:
Rach xx